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Original poster

Toddler came home from dads with bruising on inner thighs

83 replies

Bluespace · 17/02/2020 04:34

My 22 month old daughter came home from her dads yesterday. He had put her in her pajamas so I put her straight to bed.

She’s just woken up and had a dirty nappy so I’ve changed her and noticed several bruises on her inner thighs.

I have several thoughts whirling round my head. Should I be worried about these bruises?

He has known to be aggressive but never hurt me or her when we were together.

OP posts:

CassidyStone · 17/02/2020 06:52

As others have said, this could be entirely innocent and caused by a ride-along toy, or being held firmly whilst on dad's shoulders.

Don't delay, get her checked out by a healthcare professional asap.

Blahblahblah12345 · 17/02/2020 06:55

Is there a history of abuse? Seems strange that you would go straight to something being untoward with the father of your child.

slipperywhensparticus · 17/02/2020 06:56

It could be that she wriggled and he squeezed her legs my ex mil did that to my son the social worker went through the roof over it

Or it could be as bad as you think get advice doctors nspcc police the lot if they are really dark that would have made her cry regardless and that's not allowed

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celebrityskin · 17/02/2020 07:01

Just be aware if you take to the GP today "to have a look" they can't magically tell you how a bruise happened and if you are concerned enough to raise it in the first place it will escalate into a full safeguarding enquiry. Which may be completely appropriate ...but I am shocked the poor dad is being thrown to the wolves without any opportunity to find out any more information

Jeleste · 17/02/2020 07:05

Dont assume the worst. My niece bruises extremely easily. When she was about that age her dad bruised her once when she struggled during nappy change just by holding her legs. He was more careful after that. But even now the second she bumps into something, theres a bruise.

Berrymuch · 17/02/2020 07:05

Does he normally bring her back in pyjamas?

blackcat86 · 17/02/2020 07:05

It's not the poor dad being thrown the wolves it's that, blunty, inner bruising thigh is difficult for a toddler to get via their usual bumps and scrapes and is an indicator of sexual abuse. Now hopefully it's totally innocent but OP is not only following what is recommended and best for her child, she is also protecting herself should ss become involve by acting appropriately and promptly to protect that child and put their needs above the potential hurt feelings of adults. Its unsavory but sadly thats the reality.

Kittykat93 · 17/02/2020 07:05

The fact you're even thinking this op - do you think your child is safe with her father? If you have any doubts I would stop overnight contact.

And yes photograph bruises and take to gp today.

Obviouspretzel · 17/02/2020 07:12

Doesn't sound that difficult to get inner thigh bruising to me? Bouncing on ride along, trying to climb over a high obstacle ?

BillywilliamV · 17/02/2020 07:12

My niece slipped on a climbing frame and came down on a bar between her legs. Things happen, bruising on thighs is less evidence of abuse than injury to the genitals.
Most men would rather die themselves than injure their children, try to remember that. If you really believe that he might have hurt her take her to the GP this morning.

Thefaceofboe · 17/02/2020 07:23

DO NOT CHALLENGE HIM

No, don’t challenge him but do ask him about the bruises. There is most likely a logical explanation. I agree with PP though, take pictures now and seek advice. X

LouHotel · 17/02/2020 07:25

My initial thought on this would be thumb prints from a struggling toddler on a nappy change but I would even consider that to be way too much force from a parent and require further information.

Inner thigh bruising is not normal, I can’t remember a time any of my kids getting that and they were all climbers.

As you can’t have a conversation with the dad you need to go to GP this morning but prepared for his backlash.

TheNoiseHurts · 17/02/2020 07:28

My toddler fell on the stair gate yesterday and has a bruise there, it's happened before. It bloody hurts as well, he really screamed ☹️☹️

I'm not saying your DD doesn't need investigating, it does. I just wanted to give an example of how it could be totally innocent.

gorbashthecat · 17/02/2020 07:30

If you’re going to raise it as a safeguarding concern, call social services who can then arrange a paediatric medical if they think it’s appropriate.

All the GP can do is document, and unless it’s really obviously nothing to worry about they’d have to refer onto social services same as you would. It’ll cause a delay.

LangittleClegabbage · 17/02/2020 07:33

If it was an innocent accident, then he should have seen the bruising at the next nappy change, and should have informed you.

Please speak to the NSPCC first thing.

CalleighDoodle · 17/02/2020 07:34

I was going ro ask the same about whether he normally beings her back in pj’s? If not id be phoning the police if I didnt trust the man already.

Breastfeedingworries · 17/02/2020 07:35

Keep the dirty naps as they might need it for tests.

Please get this immediately checked out. Babies have been raped and died. This could of been the start of the abuse.

EnidBlyton · 17/02/2020 07:41

it could be a seesaw
ask him what they did

MrsLindor · 17/02/2020 07:43

Your GP is the best option, definitely tell the receptionist it's an urgent safeguarding concern and they will fit you in, don't investigate yourself is always the advice,

I agree don't wash the PJs and keep the nappy, highly unlikely but it's worst case scenario. Sounds like heavy handed nappy changing which is a safeguarding flag in itself and needs a professional opinion and documenting.

Lordfrontpaw · 17/02/2020 07:44

My first thought was see-saw or kids ride on toy. I was (still am) always covered in mystery bruises because I do bruise easily (and am clumsy).

But it’s worrying that your first thought was abuse caused by the dad. If this is/has been a concern that you need to think hard about that.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 17/02/2020 07:45

I think even just based on the scant info here, he was ‘aggressive’ to you, you don’t have direct contact and the level of bruising, you need to get this documented and checked out.

Even if it’s ‘just’ heavy handed ness it’s still very wrong.

I hope you are okay. Try not to panic but you do need to take her to a doctor.

Bluerussian · 17/02/2020 07:48

MrsLindor Mon 17-Feb-20 07:43:01
Your GP is the best option, definitely tell the receptionist it's an urgent safeguarding concern and they will fit you in, don't investigate yourself is always the advice,

At the same time nobody knows at the moment how the bruises occurred and there may be a reasonable explanation. The GP will put wheels in motion for there to be some investigation. Take photos of the bruises if you haven't already.

Keep us posted op, everyone is concerned about your daughter and you on this thread.

CodenameVillanelle · 17/02/2020 07:48

If you’re going to raise it as a safeguarding concern, call social services who can then arrange a paediatric medical if they think it’s appropriate

This. The GP can't assess whether bruising is likely to be non accidental or not, and if they are worried they will only refer it to social services who may arrange a medical.

Why do you only have email contact with her dad? Is he abusive?

sprite25 · 17/02/2020 07:58

I know I'm just repeating what other posters have said but there are certain areas on a toddlers/child's body which raises concerns if bruises or other marks occur, I'm afraid inner thighs is one of them. There may be an innocent explanation but the fact you've said he has a history of aggression (regardless who it was directed at) raises even more concerns. Take her to a health care professional and explain everything, they will be more equipped to help, I hope for your and your little girls sake it's an innocent one off

HeadachesByTheDozen · 17/02/2020 08:02

Surely he would have noticed the bruises when he put her nappy on before he brought her back? If it were innocent I would have thought he'd have told you and how it happened just to give you a heads up/cover himself. How is she with him? Does she bond with him, does she seem afraid of him?

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