Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How do you end up having friends you have dinner parties with?

73 replies

Johnsonsfiat · 12/02/2020 17:00

Lots of people on here talk about 'my circle' and 'dinner parties.' I've never been to a dinner party, and I'm nearly 50. It's a mystery to be how they end up happening.
In my 20s, I socialised with work friends. That invced going out to drink.
In my 30s we moved city and I didn't know anyone until I had my daughter.
In my early 40s, I got to know mums and we did mum things and the occasional night out
Now, I know a couple of mums and my work friends. We arrange a night out now and then.
So how does dinner parties with my circle come about?

OP posts:
Cinammoncake · 12/02/2020 17:16

I'm exactly the same as you OP and I don't know the answer either Grin

caulkheaded · 12/02/2020 17:22

I’ve got a large circle of friends who come round for dinner/host dinner. We wouldn’t call it a dinner party (except maybe ironically?)
They are all friends from church, volunteering, friends of friends etc. About once a fortnight someone will say “who wants to come round for xyz” and whoever does...does. I like cooking so I enjoy having people round and I like their company.

MerryDeath · 12/02/2020 17:28

invite people round for dinner! voila

EssentialHummus · 12/02/2020 17:28

I’m about as sociable as they come and it sounds like my idea of hell tbh. Having people round for supper ok, but “come for a dinner party” would chill me to my soul.

inwood · 12/02/2020 17:30

We used to have 'dinner parties' pre kids and it was with old school friends. Then they stopped as they don't really work when everyone has small kids. Now we do again, some years later because the kids can watch a movie / play while the adults can have a meal.

We settled back in our old area though as did a lot of our friends.

KellyHall · 12/02/2020 17:30

Echo MerryDeath!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 12/02/2020 17:31

I have never been to or hosted a dinner party in my life. Nobody I know does.

When I spend time with my friends we go out for a meal or drinks/night out. Or just round to someone's house for drinks.

iklboo · 12/02/2020 17:32

We don't have dinner parties. We have 'come to ours and we'll have some food with the alcohol.'

CakeandCoffeeQueen · 12/02/2020 17:33

It’s pretty easy, just ask some friends over for dinner and cook something nice!

aufaitaccompli · 12/02/2020 17:34

Luck of the draw. I had ppl round for dinner as we couldn't get out (no babysitter)
Rarely got an invite back.
Then I separated and basically committed social suicide and get invited pretty much nowhere.

Short answer prob work/hobby as opposed to friends you grew up with (at least that's been my experience)

Wonder if my breath stinks Sad

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 12/02/2020 17:40

I invite people over for dinner a lot, just choose some friends and sometimes it’s very casual and we just have another couple or another family, sometimes I go a bit more formal and do full 3 courses and invite a mixture of people that don’t know each other but usually I invite people who do. If it helps we don’t get the invitation reciprocated often if at all so it might just be that bothers doing it but I enjoy it so it’s fine

Nothing2doooooo · 12/02/2020 17:41

Invite them over for dinner/get together. Make it a bit bubbly (music, people free to dance if they want, laughter, etc). Nothing formal or stuffy or 'sit-down and look to your left, then your right' type of stuff.

It's a dinner "party".

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 12/02/2020 17:41

Yeah and should add I never say “dinner party”

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 12/02/2020 17:42

And I never do seating plans even though apparently people still expect that? Except on Burns which I do a very formal sit down 4 course dinner for 22 people but that’s an exception!

OhioOhioOhio · 12/02/2020 17:43

Other people's cooking is nearly always hard work.

actiongirl1978 · 12/02/2020 17:44

Other school parents. I met the mums via the coffees, which turned into 'doing something with the husbands' which ended up as the odd dinner with school parents.

Not a dinner party as such but more formal than spag bol on a knee.

FickleTickle · 12/02/2020 17:45

Invite people over.

I used to love this then we went through a very difficult period of depression and bankruptcy where we felt very isolated from our friends and I lost interest in pretty much everyone. My tolerance for nonsense conversations with virtual strangers is non existent now so I don't invite anyone and they don't invite me. But I'm fine with that. I think in my grumpy old age I can be a bit spiky and who really wants to be around that!

ChainsawBear · 12/02/2020 17:47

Inviting people over for dinner generally helps.

I'd find a "dinner party" or seating plan fairly wank, but DH and I like cooking and having people over, so when we meet people we like, we ask them if they'd like to come over for dinner. Works well especially with parents of the DCs' friends as it allows us all to have fun without paying babysitting.

Ohyesiam · 12/02/2020 17:47

If you invite some friends round for an evening meal, light some candles, put on a nice frock and open the vino, you will be having a dinner party!

Bloodybridget · 12/02/2020 17:47

DP and I, and another couple who live over the road, have just had a dinner invitation from our NDNs. The six of us do get together from time to time for a meal or a drink. I wouldn't call it a dinner party, that sounds a bit formal (and maybe 6 is too small a number for the name?). They are all great cooks, lucky us.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 12/02/2020 17:48

Sorry vegans but we have steak night every other Friday and take it In turns to host.
It started off as a bbq thing then when it got colder we went indoors for steak and it just became a ‘thing’.
We are 3 couples and one single who sometimes brings a bf, if there’s one in the go, sometimes brings her sister who is lovely and generally preferred to most of her bf’s!
It’s not a dinner party but we do all have simple dinner and alcohol.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 12/02/2020 17:50

My tolerance for nonsense conversations with virtual strangers is non existent now so I don't invite anyone

I would never invite virtual strangers either! Not into my home! Maybe this is where you’re going wrong!

littleyikes · 12/02/2020 17:51

MIL currently has regular 'supper parties' and it just seems like she invites a load of random acquaintances over who don't know each other and cooks.
Years ago, she use to do it a lot when she was married to FIL, it was a bit show-off-y IMO. Their family's a bit 'aspirational.'
But it's really not my idea of fun, so I'm probably being a bit harsh.

Parsley65 · 12/02/2020 17:51

My sister has it down to a fine art.
When I asked how she manages to go to dinner parties so often she told me that she started the ball rolling and invited some school parents around.

After the meal and the alcohol the guests were relaxed and saying how nice it was to get together. So she suggested they make it a regular thing, taking it in turns to host. When they agreed this was a good idea, she got the diary out...

reginafelangee · 12/02/2020 17:53

Just pick 2 - 4 friends and invite them for dinner.

Pick something simple for the menu that won't require you to spend all night in the kitchen.

And go for it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread