How do you end up having friends you have dinner parties with?

[Johnsonsfiat]

Lots of people on here talk about 'my circle' and 'dinner parties.' I've never been to a dinner party, and I'm nearly 50. It's a mystery to be how they end up happening.
In my 20s, I socialised with work friends. That invced going out to drink.
In my 30s we moved city and I didn't know anyone until I had my daughter.
In my early 40s, I got to know mums and we did mum things and the occasional night out
Now, I know a couple of mums and my work friends. We arrange a night out now and then.
So how does dinner parties with my circle come about?

My tolerance for nonsense conversations with virtual strangers is non existent now so I don't invite anyone

Do people do this?

Invite strangers to their homes for dinner?

Crikey.

Invite your friends round for dinner?

I think it may be less popular that it used to be (or maybe we aren't invited to many ), I've been married over 30 years and when we were first married we hosted and went to a lot of dinner parties (I was even in a magazine feature once about dinner parties ) but in those days it wasn't such a thing to eat out so much, unless celebrating something specific, I can't remember many occasions where we met up with friends for a meal.
Having said that, we are having dinner with neighbours this weekend, they are wonderful hosts and I am looking forward to it.

I love cooking so invite friends individually or in small groups for dinner and drinks quite often. In my case it's not really a formal dinner party, just them indulging my hobby (and getting fed).

When you say dinner party I imagine fine china and crystal glasses and quite uptight, not my idea of fun. I like people coming for dinner even with their kids (I have my own and they could sit with us too). I love hosting (even in my now pokey house)

I didn't know people still had dinner parties - it all sounds a bit 70s/trying to impress the boss etc. I can think of nothing worse than going to people's houses for dinner with each host trying to outdo the previous one.

We eat out with friends, never at each other's houses.

I think we got into the habit of having people round for tea as we all bought our first homes/were saving for a deposit at the same time. Money was tight for most of the social group and we had outgrown Yates pound a pint night, so going round to other houses or having people round on a friday became the norm.

A decade down the line and the focus has definitely shifted from drinking excessively to the food...

I can think of nothing worse than going to people's houses for dinner with each host trying to outdo the previous

Why would they be trying to do that? They're your friends - you're just talking, laughing, having fun because you enjoy spending time together. Having dinner at home makes it cheaper and the kids can play together or be bedded down together so the adults can enjoy it.

We invite people over for dinner a lot.

Get return invites to some - some never return the invite (have to say after a while I stop inviting these people)

I like it as you can cook what you want, serve the drinks you want and don’t have to worry about how to split the bill / which restaurant to go to.

Do go out to bars in big groups for drinks or smaller groups to restaurants

We have friends over for dinner all the time. Generally 3-4 other couples. Lots of drinks, nice food, lots more drinks. I'm not sure what's odd about that? And why would anyone be trying to outdo one another?

With us its mainly friends who are school parents or work friends/former work friends.

I love cooking and having people round so I regularly invite people to come and eat. Usually no more than 2-4 people. I try hard to prep everything in advance so I am not tied to the hob when people are here.
It's fun, we drink lots, occasionally play games.
We get fewer return invites as friends are less keen on cooking than I am, that's fine too.

We have friends round to dinner (maybe 8/10 at the most) and get a bit pissed in the process. Have never called it a dinner party though!

@Chewbecca I’m a big fan of planning it so most of it is done in advance so I can actually hang out with my friends rather than be attached to a stove - I like PP’s point of it allows them to indulge in their own hobby of cooking, that’s totally me too!

I can think of nothing worse than going to people's houses for dinner with each host trying to outdo the previous one

That's the fun part!

Currently planning a 1920s murder mystery dinner

I think dinner parties are pretty old fashioned and I'm an older Mumsnetter. Am not really a fan and have some people who keep on inviting us even though we don't really show any enthusiasm for going. Which is awks.

Maybe we'll get into it again when all our children have fled the nest. But having dinner with school Mum friends and their husbands can be pretty excrutiating. Don't even get me started on the holiday invites.

When I lived abroad, I got to know a group of American ex-pats who took it to the next level with ‘moving dinner parties’. You had one course at one person’s house, then all moved on to the next person’s, then desert at another’s. Way too much faff and a logistical nightmare!

When in my 20s at Uni I had friends over for dinner, it was a cheap night out. In my 30s I sometimes did the same - sometimes cooking sometimes sharing a take away. When married with kids we got together with other parents and took turns hosting. Now we invite all the people connected to our company over for a late lunch every summer - it's good fun - no impressing the boss - it's an opportunity for us to bring everyone together in a relaxed environment - although I think I'll be bringing in catering staff next year as it's getting too big. I have friends who like to cook - as I do - we cook dinner for each other or we eat out...depending how we feel - but we are all very food and drink focused - I think that's the common thread..

I can think of nothing worse than going to people's houses for dinner with each host trying to outdo the previous When we did this everyone did something different depending on their approach to food - no one was out doing anyone because how much fun you had was the important thing.

Bunch of school friends that still hang out or university friends. They're a bit old school now.

DH is a military officer so we have tried having his work friends over for dinner. One couple in particular, the wife doesn’t seem to like me. So I’ve given up now on dinner parties and making new friends! Think I’m too awkward.

@caulkheaded Coming round for supper is very posh.

If you want to have dinner parties just invite your friends and partners or if you prefer just one friend and partner to your house for dinner. Then they will probably invite you back.

I invite people to my house and cook food. If we all enjoy it, I invite them again. They invite me. Circle of pasta.

I like dinner parties. I like good food, relaxed conversation and a definite end to the evening. Quite often go out to eat with friends too.

I can think of nothing worse than going to people's houses for dinner with each host trying to outdo the previous
That's never been my experience at all it's just a bunch of friends sharing a meal in one of our homes. No outdoing each other at all.We are just grateful be cooked for. I suppose it depends on your friends though.

We don't have them as often now but when we were in our early 30's we used to have them all the time. Every Friday, someone out of our circle of friends would cook and we'd all pop round. We'd half-heartedly take turns but one of our friends loved cooking and had a brilliant house for entertaining (it was bigger than everyone else's!) so we spent much more time there than anywhere else. It was very relaxed. Lots of chat, food, wine and the occasional cocktail. It was so much fun.