My job makes me feel anxious, exhausted and burnt out. Anyone else?

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I work in higher education. My job is fairly well paid, fairly flexible and on good days I can tell myself I'm doing good (we train people to do an important role in society, won't say any more than that because it's outing).

I'm good at my job (I think) and I've worked my way up quickly to a senior role. I like most of my colleagues, but I am so exhausted and work emails make me anxious.

I've taken a sick day today because I was awake half the night feeling stressed about work and this morning I couldn't function and couldn't get out of bed. I'm actually still working though, and I've just checked my emails because I feel guilty and now I feel anxious all over again because of what's there.

I don't know what to do. I know I should probably look for something else but a) I feel I'd be letting people down and b) the thought of having to start over somewhere new seems overwhelming.

I don't think I'm depressed, I'm just so done with it all and find now enjoyment from work anymore.

I'm not even sure what I want from this thread! Anyone else feel like me?

*no enjoyment

I knew this would be education.

I'm primary (Scotland, on half term holiday) and this year has been horrendous for me. I am on my nerves all the time. I can't sleep. I get some enjoyment from the children still but it's not balanced any more.

I'm genuinely thinking about chucking it in, but for what I don't know.

Why is it specifically your emails that make you feel anxious?
Stop working on your sick day. Turn the computer off and relax.

TDL the flippant answer is because my emails are full of students complaining and it increases my feeling that nothing I do is ever enough.

llama

Yes, I’ve started to fantasise about retirement and that’s years away

Yes, your thread title is me. I am a nurse. I absolutely love my job despite feeling like this. I posted yesterday in a thread specifically for people who love their job and I meant every word of my post, but it is periodically breaking me. I was ok for years (I've been doing this job a long time) until late 2018 when I started crying at work one day for no apparent reason and since then I go through periods of a few weeks of being an anxious, burnt-out, emotional mess who can barely get through the day and then I go back to being ok again for a while. I took 2 seperate days of sick last year, one I was sent home because I couldn't stop crying and one when I phoned and said I wouldn't be able to come in the next day which was a cumulation of a few weeks of feeling terrible. I didn't feel any better for being at home so went back after one day.
Do you have any support? Does anyone at work know how you feel or are you able to tell anyone? The main reason I get through this is I have a lovely, very supportive manager who talks me through my crisis periods, encourages me to take time off but respects my decision not to and is trying to find ways to help me be more ok long-term.
People tell me I need a new job, but this job is the only thing I have ever wanted to do, and I don't think I could cope with starting again doing something new with new people.

Yes, secondary teacher here, constant anxiety that it is never enough. Despite being good at my job and working hard. I feel so despondent and desperate to leave to give myself peace of mind. I love teaching, I hate the constant scrutiny, lack of support and divisive nature of education today.

Yep ... teacher here. Feeling inadequate and more anxious than I have ever been in 30 years of teaching..also fantasizing about retirement ...or a way out 🙈

Another educator here who sadly recognises those feelings.

Yes, Social Worker.

Me too, OP.
I don't work in education but could have written your post (and quite a few of the replies). In short, my job has stolen my joy. I am constantly on the lookout for an alternative but nothing so far.

Yes, me too. Today, I was in the work kitchen to make a coffee and scalded a finger from the urn. Started crying in the kitchen. Also getting it from another source.
Not in education, though.

Yes. This is a fairly recent thing for me as well, I'm not used to feeling like this, mostly down to a nightmare line manager and change of project.

I took last week off sick, I just couldn't face it. I'm really on edge tonight at the thought of going back tomorrow. I'm snappy and shouty with my children and I hate myself, they don't deserve it. I feel sick and have a constant stress headache.

I'm looking for something else but my role is fairly niche, very flexible and well paid for the sector. There not much out there that's comparable.

I have managed to make myself ill with stress but in the flip side, getting ill gave me a lot of perspective.

I am now reciting “you can only do what you can do” as a mantra, not checking my emails after work, letting people deal with the consequences of their own actions or lack of and with regards to the nasty emails, I just laugh these days and joke about what sort an idiot could imagine that is a reasonable request.

The nature of my job means that I am rushing up problem solving the whole week, it is still stressful but I am enjoying it again.

Having said that, if you really hate it, leave ASAP because the damage that job may be causing on you, may create scars and sensitivities that you may end up carrying into other future roles.

Yes. Work in software development. Seeing a GP on Wednesday because of depressed and stressed I am. There's stuff going on at home but the work stuff I feel should be fixable if people were more reasonable and I shouldn't have to feel like this.

I previously worked in higher education (not academic) but closely with students. I’ve been unemployed now for 4 months after handing my notice in last year. I can tell you the stress of being unemployed is far less than the environment I was previously in. I felt exactly the same, but also unvalued at the same time as being “valued” so much in my position I would be actively pushed away from promotions or applying for anything else.

my job has stolen my joy

Yep.

I was in a training session the other day that had a slide on the symptoms of burnout and I just thought 'yeah, I tick every one of those boxes'.

I'm grumpy and cynical at work all the time. I find myself so impatient and sarcastic, have no enthusiasm for anything. Recently I took on another role (on top of my current full-rime role) to try and reignite my interest in my job - it's just made things worse because now I have yet more pressure, targets and emails!

Christ yes. I am a Nurse Specialist who works with young offenders. There is just so, so much work, far more than we can do if the team was full, and it isn't. The kid's needs are so high, and I don't have the time or capacity to do the quality of work I would like. And nobody is ever bloody happy, despite all the many extra hours I work for free each week, all the focus is on the things I don't manage.

I know my work life is not good for my own well being, I feel tired and stressed all the time. But if I leave the kids I work with will have even less and I care about them.

Yes I could have written this, I’m an accountant and stressed to the eyeballs. I’m pregnant with my 3rd and fingers crossed this pregnancy goes ok I’m going to seriously try and change career. Although I do worry any job would be as stressful.

I would have hated to think that I'd made any of my tutors feel this way as a student. I graduated in 2018 and now a social worker.

Unfortunately some students will feel that you owe them the world but not actually put the effort in to actually get that world themselves.

For your own sake, dont log on when ill, esp when anxious about work. I was poorly last week and other than contacting the families I work with to advise them I could not make the visit, I did not look at my emails until I returned today. I was very anxious returning back today to a ever growing workload but I can only do what I can do. As Tom Walker rightly sings "we're only human after all"

Hope you soon feel better.

Yes. Social worker, with shit managers, could probably cope otherwise. It took me 2 hours to calm down enough today to dare to switch my phone on and check for messages

I hope you find a new much better job soon, OP.

I would have hated to think that I'd made any of my tutors feel this way as a student

Sadly, I have seen every single one of my colleagues reduced to tears at some point by students' behaviour/emails/etc. Every single one. And professional services staff get even more shit than we do.

It's heartbreaking really. I came into education because I loved my own training and loved working with students when I was in professional practice. But things are very different now, I think.

I’m a primary teacher and I completely relate to this. I’m handing in my notice soon to leave in July (just need to figure out when I’m actually going to be brave enough to do it!). I’ve been trying to leave teaching for a while and always find myself getting sucked back into it (I left, went on supply, ended up doing long-term supply which turned into getting another contract) and I’m cross with myself for not giving myself the clean break that I needed. Going into work when you feel so “done” with it all is such a horrible feeling. You have my full sympathy OP.

I'm higher education too, and the stress is real.

So is the crippling self-doubt. :(

Mumsnet is such a lovely place to hide my head in the sand