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Original poster

When you die how many people will go to your funeral?

88 replies

MelanieFrontage · 08/02/2020 23:43

My dad died a few years ago and the crematorium was packed, there must have been about 100 people there.
I don’t know that many people, when I die I expect (hope) that perhaps 20 people will see me off.
Is that below average, above or ‘about right’

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 09/02/2020 01:14

Hardly anyone, probably just ds, my brother & his family if I die first. I have no partner, hardly any friends. It is one of the reasons why I have put in my wishes that I want a direct cremation with no service, not even a coffin if they could do it, throw me in the fire ins body bag.

MsPepperPotts · 09/02/2020 01:14

No funeral . direct cremation for me too

NightsOfCabiria · 09/02/2020 01:21

Direct cremation or medical school for me if I’m old (still have to check the conditions though as I’ve heard that they don't accept ‘altered’ or operated on bodies).

If I died tomorrow then about 40 or 50 friends and colleagues I’d guess as I’m a hermit with no family.

When my dad died, hundreds packed the church. When my mum died only twelve people came. I still dont know why.

Floralnomad · 09/02/2020 01:33

no funeral for me , direct cremation .

NoGravyForYou · 09/02/2020 01:34

If I died tomorrow I would imagine there would be a fair few. I'm in Ireland and people come for the family left behind as well as the person who died and DM is the local GP receptionist, so she knows a lot of people!

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 09/02/2020 01:48

Gawd, depressing thread!
I hope quite a few.
I have a close large family and extended family (think Waltons lol) so they should be there
DH, the kiddywinks, friends too even if I haven't seen any of them for a while in person

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 09/02/2020 01:49

even if I haven't seen any of them for a while in person

as in friends, not DH and kids - I see them every day!

FordPrefect42 · 09/02/2020 01:53

If I died now? My mother, siblings, and a few extended family? (My father wouldn’t attend, he really doesn’t like me lmfao)

If I lived long enough, I’m not sure who’d be in attendance.

I agree with the other posters who said they’d prefer direct cremation. In an ideal world I wouldn’t want anybody at my funeral either.

I keep thinking about how easily I could become a recluse, or start a new life in a completely different place, so I guess my ideal funeral isn’t too far-fetched.

Eh, that’s enough of my ramblings.

chesterfuckingdrorrs · 09/02/2020 01:59

About 20 which makes me feel quite sad.....least it's will save the ones left behind money on the wake. I'm 37 so that number is only going to get smaller Shock

Apolloanddaphne · 09/02/2020 02:04

I imagine loads would come to my funeral if I died right now. Between friends and family maybe around 100.

Bloodybridget · 09/02/2020 06:27

If I died within the next, say, five years, probably quite a lot, DP and I have maybe 30 family members between us, and a fairly large network of friends. So perhaps 100? If I manage another 20 years or more, who knows?

Original poster
MelanieFrontage · 09/02/2020 09:58

Interesting, I’m glad I’m not in Ireland that would be too much for me, even though I’d be dead and wouldn’t know or care 😂

I’ve not heard of a direct cremation, will have to google that.

OP posts:
Bluerussian · 09/02/2020 10:00

Nobody at mine. I will have a simple cremation and my ashes can be dug into the top of my husband's grave. If people want to go out for a meal and toast me or whatever, that's fine but it's up to them.

My husband died last year and there were at least 80 people at the funeral, more than sixty at the wake. It was good but I don't want anyone going to any trouble for mine so intend to organise it soon.

TeaAndStrumpets · 09/02/2020 10:13

My husband has loads of friends from his professional life, and a very active hobby. I have a long term illness and don't go out much socially. I sometimes think if I died first his friends would turn out to support him, but then when I died there would only be family and my oldest friends.

TeaAndStrumpets · 09/02/2020 10:15

Oops, I mean if I died when I was a widow his friends wouldn't come then!

poseysbobblehat · 09/02/2020 10:17

I want direct cremation so no funeral. But I'd like a tree to be planted where my ashes are scattered and just immediate family there

Littleshortcake · 09/02/2020 10:18

Most of the village too but they wouldn't really know me. Also I work with about 100 people who would go i think. We are quite close that way.

Portulaca · 09/02/2020 10:22

Not going to have a funeral. Told DH I want a direct cremation.

Five years ago my (D)F died. He killed himself. We organised a funeral for him, it cost us a lot of money to fulfil his wishes and hardly anyone came to it. We had so many excuses from family & his friends as to why they couldn't come. Was an awful day Sad

Didiusfalco · 09/02/2020 10:22

I think it depends on when it happens. My gran died last year and she was one of the kindest most hospitable people you could ever meet with so many friends but her funeral turn was relatively small because she was over 100 when she died and outlived many people.

CormoranStrike · 09/02/2020 10:24

I would imagine several hundred would attend mine.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 09/02/2020 10:25

If I died today hundreds. If I die a significant time after retirement and there are no colleagues or students and only younger family members, 20 ish.

AJPTaylor · 09/02/2020 10:26

Depends how old I would be!
Now? Maybe 40 family and friends?

BeyondMyWits · 09/02/2020 10:26

Direct cremation. We had such a lovely experience of it with my mum. She has NEVER wanted a funeral, ever, everyone she loves knows that. She arranged for a direct cremation, paid for it and laid out the papers before she went into palliative care. All went just as she requested, and we are waiting for a sunny day to "sprinkle her".

After the experience, we siblings are all arranging the same thing for our own end. It made things so simple and easy for those left behind.

NumbersStation · 09/02/2020 10:29

If I died now? About 6.

10 years from now? No one.

Thinking about just getting cremmed.
Then no one has to put their shoulder out lowering me down Blush

NotJustACigar · 09/02/2020 10:32

Assuming my family all due in order of age then probably just my sister, hopefully a friend or two, and some ex-colleagues. Sometimes I feel embarrassed about how few people there will be but try to remember that the one good thing about being dead is I won't have to worry about anything!