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Original poster

Would you allow your 16yo to travel in Europe independently?

100 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 08/02/2020 21:08

We've somehow managed to get to the stage where GCSE's will soon be over. I'm aware the traditional "thing" would be Reading Festival etc but DS would rather chew his own foot off than go there. Smug DH and I congratulated ourselves on raising such a well rounded and sensible boy, for him to then mention he and a couple of friends would like to go interrailing in Europe instead

Broadly I'm up for the idea and I've suggested things like age limits, whether his friends would be as dependable as he hoped and how much it would cost. Normally if my concerns were fully addressed I would say ok BUT they will be only 16.

At this point I'm not sure the idea will even take off but he's a determined bugger and at least one of his friends parents is likely to agree (or at least be in our position)

Are we insane to consider it?

OP posts:

Splodgetastic · 09/02/2020 09:08

I guess maybe age limits are a bit different now, but I think I would be relaxed about this one, having worked abroad since the age of 16, armed with nothing more than a few travellers’ cheques and the ability to ask for the operator to reverse the charges. Now everyone has mobile phones and money can be transferred in a matter of minutes.

Annebronte · 09/02/2020 09:12

My son interrailed with a friend who was still 17 (summer birthday) and they did find some hostels wouldn’t take an under 18, even when accompanied by 18 year olds. I’d be a little concerned about the hosteling experience: most other guests in the dorms will be a couple of years or so older and ready for different, more adult nights out. There will be a lot of kids on gap years ready to party.

Strugglingtodomybest · 09/02/2020 09:14

I went interrailing immediately after the Reading Festival, greatest summer of my life!

I think it depends on the child as others have said. Has he discovered alcohol yet?

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16 year olds

JulietteLeGall · 09/02/2020 09:18

I went on a package holiday at 17 with a friend. Honestly surprised I came home alive if I'm honest. However, I funded it myself so my parents didn't have much of a say.

ragged · 09/02/2020 09:26

We let DS go to Berlin for a week when he was 16 (with a 17yo friend who was even more clueless than DS). Arranging the hostel was a bit tricky. OP's situation: depends on the mix of people going & their general life skills.

chocolatespiders · 09/02/2020 09:30

I dont think I would..
Dd 16 has bought herself a ticket for a day festival and I am already worried about that!

HitItAsHardAsYouCan · 09/02/2020 10:07

No.
Can you independently book into a hotel at 16?
(Although at 17 I went on a package tour to Spain with boyfriend).

EmmaGrundyForPM · 09/02/2020 10:37

Can you independently book into a hotel at 16?
My ds and friends went skiing aged 16 and managed to book it all themselves. I was quite surprised. To be honest, I only agreed to him going as I thought the plan would fall flat on its face as no company would take them. Turns out I was wrong. Interestingly they tried to book with the same company the following year and their policy had changed and they wouldn't take under 18s.

Lipperfromchipper · 09/02/2020 10:41

Not a chance!!!

Dowser · 09/02/2020 10:47

My grandson will be 17 In a few months...I don’t think he would be ready for it yet.
He has too much to learn about life. He’s started using buses around town but has never travelled out of town on his own or gotten on a train
I’d like to see him have a few more life skills yet.

vitaminC · 09/02/2020 10:56

I wouldn't.
In addition to the hotel/hostel age problem, bear in mind that in many parts of Europe, if he sprained his ankle and went to casualty, for example, he wouldn't be allowed to leave without a parent present, so you need to be able and willing to fly out at short notice!

The age of majority in the UK is kind of blurry between 16 and 18, but in most other countries that isn't the case. Under 18s are children and require parental consent for pretty much everything.

Musttryharder21 · 09/02/2020 10:59

At 17 I worked in the USA, Geneva and Paris and lived independently but that was 20 years ago and the world has changed.

Regrettably, I think for us, the decision would be that we would stay close by ‘just in case’ (NOT in a stalker-ish way though!) We would be doing our own activities 50 about 1.5hrs drive away I suspect so could be there if needed in an emergency.

Unfortunately nowadays it’s a case of we can trust who we know but can’t trust the unknown.

That’s your dilemma.

ragged · 09/02/2020 10:59

4 yrs ago now, but we found there were many hostels in Germany that would take 16yos not accompanied by adults.

Curiousmum69 · 09/02/2020 11:01

My Ds went to South Africa independently at 16. This year's he's doing Europe.

It's totally dependant upon the person

abitlostandalwayshungry · 09/02/2020 11:32

i'd allow it, it will be a brilliant experience.

but then I also travelled around Europe when I was 16. I think it made me responsible and grown up faster.

CountFosco · 09/02/2020 12:53

16 seems a bit young if he's not very experienced travelling. But better than Reading which has a terrible reputation.

I grew up in the far north but started travelling in the UK without my parents at 17 (all trips involved boats and trains), my first trip abroad (interrailing round Eastern Europe) was paid for with a new fangled student loan when I was 19. Had a fab time but I was very sensible and there was lots of culture and not much drinking or snogging of random strangers.

Drabarni · 09/02/2020 13:00

I think it depends on the person tbh.
I'd trust dd he's 16, but wouldn't have trusted her brothers.
You can't stop them anyway at this age, it's not a case of you allowing it.

listsandbudgets · 09/02/2020 13:08

I don't think so.

I did it with 2 friends during the summer break after my first year at university and even then there were times it was a bit hairy.

I think a lot of it though would depend on where he wanted to go. Eastern Europe is probably more risky and even then Bulgaria seemed safer than Romania but this is going back a long time.

Things can go wrong. We missed a train in Italy and had to make to make rapid decisions to ensure we weren't stuck at a station all night (we ended up taking a train to Switzerland and then changing for an over night train to Rome so it worked out but it nearly didn't as it was the LAST train out of the station that day)

You meet unusual people, get offered alcohol some of it very strong, sleep in odd places - hotel floor in Athens, with a family we'd never met in Romania, tent in Switzerland, the floor of a very kind Greek couple in a rural area of Greece when our train broke down, and we were simply stuck in the middle of no where, the top deck of a ferry from Italy to Greece..

We were propositioned by strange men, followed by an elderly man in Brindisi, ripped off on money exchange in Romania (where someone also asked me if my breasts were silicon!!!) , took the wrong train in Bulgaria and ended up a long way from where we expected..

looking back we took risks and we were lucky to avoid any serious mishaps

OP I'd wait until at least post A Level and make sure they've got cash to fall back on. Its exhilarating and over all we loved it and were glad we did it but I'm not sure we'd have coped at 16

ForalltheSaints · 09/02/2020 13:10

I think it is a bit young, though I'd have loved the chance at his age.

A few years ago when travelling to Cologne on a high-speed train from Brussels, someone inter-railing got on not being aware it was pre-booked seats only. Fortunately not charged a fare, but had to get off at Liege, and would have had a much longer journey. Probably all OK given mobile comms etc, but he seemed not much older.

Shamazing · 09/02/2020 13:11

Nope. Nope. Nope.

listsandbudgets · 09/02/2020 13:11

^^ but what we did learn is that the vast majority of people are kind, generous and trustworthy... but unfortunately, many were not^^

Ylvamoon · 09/02/2020 13:12

Nope. At 16 he is still classified as a child.

He could run into a lot of problems being a minor.

Original poster

TreacherousPissFlap · 09/02/2020 13:34

Thanks for all the input, it's really appreciated.

When I said they can't use buses / trains etc, they have but not as much as I did when I was their age and for specific journeys from A to B rather than random mooching round cities.

He's at work ATM so I've not been appraised of the latest plans

OP posts:

Lolaholax · 09/02/2020 15:18

You can't stop them anyway at this age, it's not a case of you allowing it.
Of course the OP can stop it. Her DS is 16, not 18

Hefzi · 09/02/2020 15:57

My friends went interrailing after GCSEs (in the 1990s)and I was torn between wanting to join them and being quite anxious about it. My parents said absolutely not, which, in retrospect was the right decision - I was a young 16 anyway (and was only 16 and 1 month in age terms) and when I went with two friends to Paris after Oxbridge exams, we got into a world of trouble - it was all fine, but I would have been totally overwhelmed had I been eighteen months younger, in all honesty.

I grew up fine - adventurous in university, lived overseas many years in war zones etc- but I think it depends somewhat on the child himself. Things like contact are much, much easier, as are money transfers etc - but I am not sure anywhere is objectively safer than it was 30 years ago, though possibly that's just because we're more exposed to things now.

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