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Original poster

Would you allow your 16yo to travel in Europe independently?

100 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 08/02/2020 21:08

We've somehow managed to get to the stage where GCSE's will soon be over. I'm aware the traditional "thing" would be Reading Festival etc but DS would rather chew his own foot off than go there. Smug DH and I congratulated ourselves on raising such a well rounded and sensible boy, for him to then mention he and a couple of friends would like to go interrailing in Europe instead Shock

Broadly I'm up for the idea and I've suggested things like age limits, whether his friends would be as dependable as he hoped and how much it would cost. Normally if my concerns were fully addressed I would say ok BUT they will be only 16.

At this point I'm not sure the idea will even take off but he's a determined bugger and at least one of his friends parents is likely to agree (or at least be in our position)

Are we insane to consider it?

OP posts:
Youhedge · 08/02/2020 22:00

If he’s not daft as a brush, sure.

Echobelly · 08/02/2020 22:01

I think it's fine if you think your kid and his friends are sensible - strength in numbers and all that. Plenty of my generation, including husband, interrailed at that age 25 years ago and I don't think statistics suggest that it is 'more dangerous now' as a lot of people seem to presume.

Re: staying, I think it's usual to use youth hostels, which you can stay in at that age.

wonderstuff · 08/02/2020 22:08

Had a chat with dh, we think we would let our kids, not really much additional risk in eu compared to the uk. www.seat61.com for a really good site on everything you could want to know about rail travel in Europe.

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16 year olds
Mistigri · 08/02/2020 22:19

Depends where they are going, whether they are used to navigating big train stations, language skills etc.

DD did a fair bit of travelling alone by train in France and Spain at age 15/16 but she was always travelling to specific destinations (friends and their families) and she speaks French and Spanish fluently.

Lots of hotels/hostels will be wary of accepting groups of minors.

yogo · 08/02/2020 22:47

Nah

GeePipe · 08/02/2020 22:54

No way. also i very much doubt they would be able to. Where would they stay? Because every hostel or hotel i ever stayed in in europe needed guests to be 18+ unless acompanied by an adult 18+ and they do check passports.

Also its not safe. I didnt think france would be dangerous but i ended up in several very sticky situations and i was 20 at the time. I know brits like to imagine europe as a beautiful safe haven where everyones friendly and everythings safe but that couldnt be further from the truth. Europe has a lot of dangers just like anywhere and trying to navigate it at 16 when your still a child just seems to risky.

VivaLeBeaver · 08/02/2020 22:59

Dd did at 17yo with a friend. But only to Paris and back via eurostar.

They had a great time and saw everything they wanted to.

Would a compromise be 1 city only and then there’s not the added worry of lots of train journeys?

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 08/02/2020 23:03

Not a chance, at 16 they are still a child and far too young to travel abroad without adult supervision.

NeonSalamanda · 08/02/2020 23:17

Absolutely.

I started university in another country at 17 though.

NeonSalamanda · 08/02/2020 23:18

Not a chance, at 16 they are still a child and far too young to travel abroad without adult supervision.

In Australia you leave school at 17...

Lolaholax · 08/02/2020 23:18

Absolutely 100% not.

HeronLanyon · 08/02/2020 23:20

Feels about a year too young even if sensible. If everything runs smoothly no problem but things don’t always.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 08/02/2020 23:33

I've a 16 year old - no WAY would I be comfortable with that.

Elieza · 08/02/2020 23:35

Would they not need to be accompanied by an adult over 18 years of age to do many of the things they’d want to do, including hotels and things? Perhaps that could be your reasoning behind declining.

There are plenty of festivals across the uk in summer. Perhaps they could see if they could find one of those they fancy instead.

Original poster
TreacherousPissFlap · 09/02/2020 02:17

You see, part of me is hoping that their research turns up a strict over 18 age limit and that will be that.

OTOH my gut feeling is it would be a far more wholesome experience than Reading festival (which I'm almost certain I would put my foot down over) and realistically not much more could go wrong abroad than could in the UK.

I was constantly told as a child that I couldn't / shouldn't do things and I've always encouraged DS to be exactly the opposite and to push his boundaries - I was rather hoping for a couple more years grace on that though Grin

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 09/02/2020 02:19

I wouldn't allow it, no.

DD did fly by herself at 15, to stay with a family we didn't know in the States, and no one else in the country that could've helped in an emergency, so I am not a complete wuss! And she was there for two weeks.

As others have said, I think many places require you to be 18 to check in/register without an adult being there too.

sashh · 09/02/2020 03:05

Depends on the child and the destination.

I have relatives whose friends moved to France years ago, as teenagers the kids would do train and ferry back to visit grandparents.

Technically they had supervision on the ferry, in reality they sussed if you faked feeling sick they got a cabin.

Are they used to getting trains? Can they read a timetable? Which countries? How will they keep in touch?

But then at 16 I went to Australia alone, it was also my first flight. Yes I was meeting relatives (for the first time) when I got there but I managed to change planes at Singapore.

Friendsofmine · 09/02/2020 03:07

Absolutely not. London at 16 is very different to Europe at 18. Once he is an adult he can do what he pleases but til then he has to go wild in England!

Houseworkavoider · 09/02/2020 03:32

Really far too young!

MoanyAnna · 09/02/2020 03:37

Wgen i read " independently" i thought uou meant on hus own. !! I woukd have said No. With a couple of friends would be fine if sensible, with a well thought out itinerary.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 09/02/2020 03:43

I'm on the fence on this one. We did allow DS2 to go abroad with two friends aged 16, but to go skiing not interrailing. So they were staying in one place not moving around. Plus they were staying in a catered chalet so we figured if anything went wrong the chalet staff could advise them.

Interailing feels different. It is definitely worth checking if hostels etc accept unaccompanied under 18s. I was surprised that DS and friends were able to book a ski chalet room at 16. They had to search hard to find a place that would accept them.

nachthexe · 09/02/2020 03:58

Well, mine went off to university six hours away at 17, so there wasn’t much choice but to allow them to be responsible for their own travel/ accommodations etc (dd signed her first private rental agreement at 17. We hadn’t even seen the place.) DS left for Japan two days after he turned 18.
My 16yo has travelled independently by air (4-5 hour flights) to various places and will be away for a month this summer, but there is loose supervision at the destination (she flies to meet up with a youth committee).
It’s terrifying.
I don’t think they will be able to book hostels though. When ds travelled last year I had to write a letter for the hostel stating that he had my permission to travel with x, his 18yo friend, as he was a minor. Without his friend having turned 18, nowhere would take them.

Original poster
TreacherousPissFlap · 09/02/2020 04:30

Are they used to getting trains? Can they read a timetable?

Erm, no and no... but they would have to do it at some point Grin In reality we live in the rural South of England, we don't even have any buses so any kind of trip like this will be a challenge for them!

And I grew up in London during the 80's and 90's. For some reason the fear I remember of the bomb threats and the evacuations makes it seem horribly scary to consider it as a destination. Ridiculous really when the same could happen in any other European city

OP posts:
Zoflorabore · 09/02/2020 04:59

This is interesting.
My ds is 16, 17 next month. He is currently in New York with his sixth form college ( 20 students and 2 tutors ) and has asked to go abroad with his friends this summer.

He has surprised me by saying he is homesick and his lack of organisational skills are a bit worrying. I packed the case so everything would be easy ie day clothes on the left and night clothes on the right and he has still been ringing me to ask where X/Y/Z is and he has Aspergers and anxiety.

This trip is a bit of a test for us both.
As it stands currently I would be saying no based on the last few days. His friends are all good lads and sensible but I think the responsibility is huge and I’m a really relaxed parent with things like this.

Zoflorabore · 09/02/2020 05:03

Just to add that none of his close friends have gone on the NY trip with him so he has had to stand on his own two feet a bit more.