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Original poster

Would you allow your 16yo to travel in Europe independently?

100 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 08/02/2020 21:08

We've somehow managed to get to the stage where GCSE's will soon be over. I'm aware the traditional "thing" would be Reading Festival etc but DS would rather chew his own foot off than go there. Smug DH and I congratulated ourselves on raising such a well rounded and sensible boy, for him to then mention he and a couple of friends would like to go interrailing in Europe instead Shock

Broadly I'm up for the idea and I've suggested things like age limits, whether his friends would be as dependable as he hoped and how much it would cost. Normally if my concerns were fully addressed I would say ok BUT they will be only 16.

At this point I'm not sure the idea will even take off but he's a determined bugger and at least one of his friends parents is likely to agree (or at least be in our position)

Are we insane to consider it?

OP posts:
Pixxie7 · 09/02/2020 05:19

I think it is too young how about compromise and consider it next year.

SD1978 · 09/02/2020 05:43

Is there an older relative that could be roped in? Someone 18 but sensible to go as a kind of chaperone?

YouJustDoYou · 09/02/2020 05:45

Hard pass.

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16 year olds
Weffiepops · 09/02/2020 05:45

It depends on the 16 yo but I wouldn't trust my daughter, she's accident prone and not worldly wise. My 4 yo son is actually more worldly wise, I'm not even kidding he's been here before, he corrects me and my DH all the time and he's right! So I might trust him to travel at 16!

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 09/02/2020 05:48

I would. It sounds like an adventure, he would be with friends and in today's world technology will allow them to keep in touch and sort problems out. Yes there are elements of risk but that's not a reason not to go. It's Europe, not Afghanistan.

katy1213 · 09/02/2020 05:52

I wouldn't fund it but if he can earn enough to pay his own way, I think that's fine.

CharlotteMD · 09/02/2020 06:20

No.

lyralalala · 09/02/2020 06:29

I think it totally depends on the 16yo. I’ve got twin DDs at 16. One I would be fine with. In fact she’d probably be better researched and organised than me or DH. She’s been babysitting kids since 13 and when there was an accident outside the church she reacted quicker and calmer than the adults also there

The other I have to physically stop myself texting her each morning to make sure she has got to school ok. She’s so ditzy and distracted I even hate her going into town alone. She broke her ankle falling off the kerb when she was 11 - no phone, no magazine, no distractions. Just so lost in her own world that she wandered close to the edge and turned and broke her ankle.

The only thing that would concern me would be their accommodation - will they find hotels or hostels that will accept under 18s?

I wouldn’t want them doing an ad hoc interracial, I’d want it planned out. And if they haven’t much experience on trains and buses I’d want them to do at least a weekend in the UK going somewhere with a change of train

Original poster
TreacherousPissFlap · 09/02/2020 07:37

Your sensible DD sounds just like DS lyralala , when I left for work last night I could hear the sounds of frenzied typing (rather than guitar playing)

thatmustbenigel this is what sways me really. We all have decent phones, internet banking, he would have good insurance and if push came to shove we can afford for one of us to down tools and go to the rescue (medical emergency or something rather than no clean socks)

And regarding funding the trip, I rather shot myself in the foot there as he has a job waiting tables in our local pub. From day 1 I've insisted that his tips go in one of those smash open money boxes for something special "like travelling". He will have a couple £100 in there already and has a birthday coming up too, as well as his wages.

OP posts:
Trahira · 09/02/2020 07:45

I went inter railing with a female friend when I was 17 and 2 months. All was fine but the thought of my kids doing it (eldest is 14) terrifies me now!

BobTheDuvet · 09/02/2020 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamansnet · 09/02/2020 08:02

I don't have a teen but I live in a European capital, and I'd be VERY wary of letting a 16 year old here alone. If your DS is more mature than his mates, it'll fall to him to shepherd them, or he might end up getting sucked in to their scrapes.

They obviously want a bit of freedom, so why not go travelling around the UK, where they know the language and customs, and more importantly you could get there by car if they got into trouble? Tell them to think of it as a practise run for interrailing around Europe when they're 18.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 09/02/2020 08:04

I was living alone at 16. I would talk to the other parents and with some rules, such as daily contact, I would allow it.
What risks are you concern about?

MrsA2015 · 09/02/2020 08:09

Let him travel the UK first, so much to see here.

helpfulperson · 09/02/2020 08:09

Why not sort of go with them. Choose an area he is interested in, you have a nice few days holiday in one base - they travel around but you are nearby if there is an issue. Have a look at the scout Explorer Belt. This is how that works and is designed for 16 +.

CherryPavlova · 09/02/2020 08:10

Yes if they are reasonably sensible and had a clear itinerary. The issue might be accommodation letting groups of sixteen year olds book and stay. Some hostels might.
Mine were never allowed to festivals under eighteen, not allowed cars under 21 but were allowed to travel. It’s much lower risk if planned properly than Reading.

northender · 09/02/2020 08:18

I would and I'd go pretty much with what lyralala said. I'd want a well researched plan, accommodation all booked etc. A trip in the uk to practice train travel would make sense. It definitely depends on the child but I do think we are generally a very cautious generation of parents and it does our Dc no favours.

jasjas1973 · 09/02/2020 08:34

Depends on your son and his friends but no more likely to get into trouble in europe than in the UK, probably less so.

Personally, i'd see how they get on with an interrail weekend trip first, say to a northern european city?

I went on the back of a motorbike to france for 2 weeks at 16, my brother cycled from Cornwall to Kent and back again at 14 with a friend in 1977.
We are imho (inc me) over protective of our children.

You are never more than half a day away from most european cities.

NewYearNewTwatName · 09/02/2020 08:44

Are they used to getting trains? Can they read a timetable?

Erm, no and no... but they would have to do it at some point grin In reality we live in the rural South of England, we don't even have any buses so any kind of trip like this will be a challenge for them!

I was sitting on the fence until I read this. They would be better off travelling round Britain. Plenty to see and do so still an adventure and still a challenge getting to grips with time tables and finding alternative solutions when things go tits up. Its would be a good practice run for interailing round Europe when they are 17/18.

DS1 is 16 and depending on which friends he went with, I'd probably say yes. But he's traveled on his own round England and London. He's managed to deal with changes to his plans and route.

StillMedusa · 09/02/2020 08:54

Nope (and three of mine went to Reading at 16!)
I'd want them to try a trip in the UK first..if they survive that then next year!

Theroigne · 09/02/2020 08:58

No way.

And you’ve made me feel glad smug that my 16 year old dd is just doing Reading this year!

rosy71 · 09/02/2020 08:59

I'd agree it would be better for them to travel in the UK. If they've never been on a bus or a train by themselves, they'd find navigating trains around Europe really hard. Ds1 is 15 & quite expert at travelling by bus & train but I dont think I'd let him do so in Europe next year. Why not join the YHA & plan a few places to stay? Head towards Wales so it counts as visiting another country.

Mentounasc · 09/02/2020 09:03

I've encouraged my DC to be independent and adventurous while staying safe (family motto: stay safe, have fun), but I think your DS and friends need to prove themselves first with a shorter trip that's more limited in scope before they do a whole month interrailing. A week in a single destination perhaps.

The situation with permission to stay in hostels under 18 is quite complex: some allow it, others don't. The most important thing in mainland Europe is a permission slip (in English plus the language of where he's going) from you stating that he has permission to travel independently between dates A and B, it should contain a photocopied image of some sort of ID (passport or driving licence) with your signature over it, plus acontact phone number. This is absolutely standard in certain European countries for unaccompanied older miners. In Germany it's jokinglycalled a Muttizettel - a mummy note.

happycamper11 · 09/02/2020 09:04

No, and I'm pretty relaxed. Next year maybe, although I'd be happier for the one after, if they do a uk trip this year and manage well.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/02/2020 09:04

I’d prefer it to Reading to be honest .... mine is 19 now and the full details of Reading at that age are only just emerging Shock