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Original poster

Baby in restaurant etiquette.

305 replies

YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:14

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

OP posts:
LondonJax · 06/02/2020 17:35

I wouldn't worry about taking a baby into a restaurant or pub, I'd use the pram so they can sleep.

But I wouldn't do it on Valentine's Day. We went out as a couple a few years ago to a favourite pub/restaurant. Never again. You could almost touch elbows with the people at the next table where there was usually space in between - think sideways shuffle to get out to use the loo where you'd normally be able to walk properly between tables. So where you think you'd have space for a pram, you may not.

If it has to Valentine's Day, book an early table - before the rush starts. Personally we now do a nice takeaway and a favourite film on the DVD - beats battling the cold or wet any time!

amazedmummy · 06/02/2020 17:40

I first took DS out at 11 days to Pizza Hut. No drama at all. I wouldn't take him anywhere fancy but chain restaurants and pubs, I can't see the issue. If you're booking let them know you have a pram so they can get a table with space.

hertfordshiremum1984 · 06/02/2020 17:48

Taking a newborn out to a restaurant can be stressful. I can understand being desperate to get out and enjoy yourself but I don't think it'll be the fun and relaxing evening you're imagining.

You'll be surrounded by adult couples and might feel a bit out of place. I'd suggest going earlier in the day or on another day when it's quiet and less expensive!

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AwkwardAsAllGetout · 06/02/2020 17:51

Just for the poster advocating putting a car seat under the table, please please don’t. This is so dangerous in a busy restaurant.

ProseccoSupernova · 06/02/2020 17:52

Im not sure Pizza Hut is what the OP had in mind Hmm

AlexaAmbidextra · 06/02/2020 17:52

I just think you’ll be on edge worrying about disturbing other people

She won’t. She’s just said everyone can suck it up. 🙄

reginafelangee · 06/02/2020 17:52

When you book ask for a table with a space for your pram.

Go somewhere family friendly and avoid posh fine dining establishments.

AlexaAmbidextra · 06/02/2020 17:53

I just think you’ll be on edge worrying about disturbing other people

She won’t. She’s just said everyone can suck it up. 🙄

AwkwardAsAllGetout · 06/02/2020 17:53

Just for the poster advocating putting a car seat under the table, please please don’t. This is so dangerous in a busy restaurant.

amazedmummy · 06/02/2020 17:59

I didn't say she had to go to fucking Pizza Hut. I said "chain restaurants and pubs". I just said that I went to Pizza Hut no need for the shitty judgemental emoji.

AlexaAmbidextra · 06/02/2020 17:59

I just think you’ll be on edge worrying about disturbing other people

She won’t. She’s already said everyone can suck it up. 🙄

ProseccoSupernova · 06/02/2020 18:03

Im not sure Pizza Hut is what the OP had in mind Hmm

AlexaAmbidextra · 06/02/2020 18:04

I just think you’ll be on edge worrying about disturbing other people

She won’t. She’s already said everyone can suck it up. 🙄

BillieEilish · 06/02/2020 18:04

Wasn't there a pub mentioned full of 60 something alcoholics?

I'd go there.

DioneTheDiabolist · 06/02/2020 18:07

AlexaAmbidextra, your post keeps repeating.

WelshMammaofaSlovak · 06/02/2020 18:12

I don't like Valentines and would never go for a meal on that day but even I realise how important it is to a lot of people and indomt understand why you aren't listening to so many people telling you not to take your baby out then. People pay a lot of money to get babysitters and want a treat and you will ruin that if your baby cries and has to get you guys up and down. No-one wants to hang out with your baby on Valentines and if you are desperate for a meal out I can't understand why you can't go the night before or the night after when it will be much quieter and calmer? Valentines Day is a celebration of romantic love and to turn it into a weird family celebration is just odd. I'm sorry that you feel like you are missing out but I'd advise that you get used to it now that you are a parent or else be prepared to pay a babysitter a lot!

AlexaAmbidextra · 06/02/2020 18:17

Sorry for multiple posts. There appear to be problems with the site. There’s a thread about it on Site Stuff.

AlexaAmbidextra · 06/02/2020 18:17

Sorry for multiple posts. There appear to be problems with the site. There’s a thread about it on Site Stuff.

AudacityOfHope · 06/02/2020 18:19

I don't think anyone has claimed the OP is 'wrong' to take a newborn to a restaurant though; they're just advising that there are easier nights on which to do it, I.e. the one night of the year where people almost unanimously choose to leave the kids at home.

I totally get it; I had one newborn projectile puker, and the first time I took her alone to a cafe she puked an entire feed all over the floor; it must have splashed about 2 square metres. I was mortified but all the lovely old ladies were very kind to me.

If that had happened in a nice place full of loved up couples and stressed out waiting staff, I don't think I'd have been able to shrug it off so easily. Especially if multiple people had tried to advise me but I'd thought they were pissy baby haters.

AudacityOfHope · 06/02/2020 18:25

I don't think anyone has claimed the OP is 'wrong' to take a newborn to a restaurant though; they're just advising that there are easier nights on which to do it, I.e. the one night of the year where people almost unanimously choose to leave the kids at home.

I totally get it; I had one newborn projectile puker, and the first time I took her alone to a cafe she puked an entire feed all over the floor; it must have splashed about 2 square metres. I was mortified but all the lovely old ladies were very kind to me.

If that had happened in a nice place full of loved up couples and stressed out waiting staff, I don't think I'd have been able to shrug it off so easily. Especially if multiple people had tried to advise me but I'd thought they were pissy baby haters.

Soontobe60 · 06/02/2020 18:29

@YicketyYackMamasBack

If where we want to book allows children then all the other sour face diners like yourselves will just have to suck it up

Ahhh, you're THAT kind of mother. Someone who thinks their child is the very epicentre of everyone's universe. Well guess what, no one else will want to spend a romantic evening with your baby. But there again, most places that will be putting on a special Valentines menu will be aiming for child free couples, so you might have to settle for a chain 'restaurant' and slummit with all the other parents who decided to take their children out too.

Oh, and a restaurant is NOT a public place.

Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 19:02

So what if someone was born on Valentine’s Day? What if they want to go for a birthday meal? What if it’s just a family who don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day for religious reasons, or just because they don’t want to?

You really expect everyone to leave their children at home just because youve gone through the trouble of getting a sitter. Worry but that’s a you problem, not a me problem. Is understandable if my baby was screaming and crying and would obviously leave if she was becoming unsettled. But I won’t stay in just because Jack and Jill from down the road left their children at home Hmm

OP posts:
Thirtyrock39 · 06/02/2020 19:07

But you started a thread asking specifically about 'etiquette' - so posters have said the norm on the date you're planning on taking a baby out to dinner is that it's the one night of the year when the norm is adults only ??
On the plus side op a newborn baby may be a good reminder to all the loved up couples of what could happen if they get to carried away after paying for their overpriced romantic meal 😉

ProseccoSupernova · 06/02/2020 19:12

God you sound a delight!

And since when do most people see it as a religious holiday?! It’s a chance for COUPLES to go out, have a nice meal and enjoy each other’s company. Not the company of a baby.

I don’t even ‘celebrate’ the day myself, happily married for 8yrs and don’t see the need... but can see why a lot of people may want to!

SproutMuncher · 06/02/2020 19:13

Op your attitude is really selfish and unpleasant. Do whatever the fuck you want, you will anyway, and don’t waste people’s time asking for advice on etiquette when your only concern is yourself and if others don’t like it they can “suck it up”.