Just weighed myself- 16stone 8. I am disgusted

[ThisIsItGotToChange]

I had a thread on here last year about how I was a bridesmaid for my friends wedding abroad and needed to lose weight. At this point I weighed 15 and a half stone. Lots of lovely people commented with advice. I didn’t do anything about it though, the wedding happened and it was fine. Had a lovely day.

I’ve just weighed myself and I’m 16stone 8. Absolutely disgusting. BMI of 42. My husband weighs 10 stone and is super fit. I must look like a pig next to him. A pig. I know what it is, snacking and no exercise. My meals aren’t very high calorie (not underestimating or denial, they genuinely aren’t) but I’ll think nothing of having a full multi pack of crisps, 6 cans of Pepsi (my downfall) a massive bar of chocolate etc a day. God I am so ashamed, I used to be a size 10. No wonder my
Husband won’t have sex with me. I’m 31 and morbidly obese. I have a kid, what example am I setting him? I’m sat here in tears, over hall starts today. I’ve lost weight before on 5:2 diet, I lost 4 stone and was a size 10. Going to get back onto that, starting today. Starting the 30 day shred as well, did It last time and it was brutal but good. I’m retraining and spend a fortune on snacks at uni every day so not taking my
Card/ deleting Apple Pay. Please anyone who comments I know how disgusting I am, I don’t need abuse I just need to get it out somewhere.

So yeah, I’m going to use this thread as a kick up the arse. I booked a holiday of a lifetime to New York the other day. I have never been before and I’m going in December for my sisters 30th. I also have 3 weddings in one week in September plus a million hen do’s, 30th birthdays etc this year and I’m sick of being the fatty there. God I feel so bad for my husband, he’s 40 next month and I’ve organised a surprise party. Some friends from work are coming who I’ve never met
And I bet they’re going look at me and wonder if they’ve walked into the right party!

Hi OP, I've a thread running at the moment in weight loss chat, I weighed in after New year at 20st 10.5lb. I'm 5"9 so my bmi is around the same as yours. I felt disgusted with myself.
I've had so much lively support from people on here, someone recommended team rh on facebook. Have a look.
I've lost 9lb so far and am feeling so much better in myself, and I'm not starving!!!

hugs x you are not disgusting, it sounds like you have got stuck in a rut, it happens to us all. It sounds like you are determined and have a plan in place which you know works so you are on the right track already. I buy multipacks of fruit and stick a couple in my bag every day so I’ve got it there for snacking. Get a refillable water bottle to take with you too, you can add squash so it’s not too boring. When I was losing weight and was feeling fed up when looking in the mirror I would just remind myself that this was the biggest I was going to be, I was actively eating good and exercising so I was only going to get smaller. It takes time, just remember patience and consistency are key

Come over to BSD and Fast800 support thread #17 601
You will get lots of support there x

You’re not remotely disgusting. The first thing you need to do is ditch the self loathing and find positive reasons to change your approach to what you put into your body rather than punishing it and you. You have a far better chance of succeeding in improving your health if you focus on getting fitter, stronger, happier. Telling yourself and other people that you’re a monster is hurting yourself and going to lead to an extreme new regime and hating yourself when it inevitably fails then spiralling further into self reproach and packets of crisps.

Take a deep breath. Look at the things you appreciate about yourself, there must be some things, and tell yourself you deserve quality food which will make you feel good inside and out and exercise which will help you reconnect with what your body can do and not focus too much on what you look like.

You want to be a good role model for your son. You want to live a comfortable, long, healthy life. You want to enjoy wearing clothes which make you feel amazing. You deserve to look after yourself well. Your body is precious and needs good fuel to function. You know what’s worked for you before so revisit those steps and start treating yourself with kindness and respect which is a better approach and more likely to help you succeed.

I remember you OP. I slowly dropped from a size 16
down to a 12 making changes, switching wine for vodka and diet mixer, walking for circuit training (dvd) and counting calories on my fitness pal. The best tip though was stopping the weekly mindset. Instead of thinking well I've blown it today, I will forget it the rest of the week and start fresh on Monday, I started taking a daily approach. So I ate two biscuits this morning I won't have crisps at lunch etc. It sounds simple but it made the biggest difference.

And stop with the self loathing. It makes everything harder. I've been there so I'm not underestimating how awful you feel but you are not disgusting.

You're not disgusting op be kind to yourself. Self loathing will not get you anywhere.

Choose an eating plan that you are comfortable with and that is attainable and sustainable. I have had some success with 16:8 and cutting snacking. I could lose weight faster if I went keto as well but I know I can't sustain this so I still have certain carbs. I also cut deserts other than fruit, and i do not snack between meals. They are long term changes rather than a diet. It is working - I am now at the top end of a healthy weight and I am not miserable and starving.

You got this - small steps.

You are not disgusting
You are not a pig

You can do this
If you stick with negative attitude towards yourself it will make it so much harder.
Try think about exercise and dieting as a positive change that your body, and mind, needs.

Drink lots of water, download My Fitness Pal, I found this fantastic to stop my mindless snacking.

Well done OP for taking first step. It will take a bit of time to see a change, but don’t stop!! Remember there needs to be a calorie deficit so cutting out 6 cans of Pepsi and chocolate every day is essential

Don't feel disgusting. Your body has done what it is supposed to do and stored the excess energy from your food as fat. It is actually a vital feature of your body. Otherwise you'd need to constantly eat.You've just saved a bit too much to carry about in your store now so need to utilise some of that stored energy. Think of it as money in the bank! You can spend a bit less money on food now and utilise some of your fat for energy.

For some people, cutting down works better than cutting out completely, because the larger quantities are your normal.

It might work like this: set yourself a daily limit on crisps and Pepsi, say one less a day than you are currently eating. After a week drop one more. Aim to get down to max 1 pack of crisps and max 1 Pepsi per day. And maybe eventually they will be just a weekend treat!

And don't fill in the gaps with other things, unless they are properly healthy.

I allow myself unlimited water, coffee and tea, as often that fills me up and takes the edge off my hunger. If I've put a bit on, I carry fruit and even celery sticks to snack on, and make myself eat them before I allow myself to eat other things.

Also, what are you doing when you are eating the crisps/chocolate/Pepsi? You need to do something else, to help break the association. Eg if you eat those things while watching TV< watch less TV. If you do them while commuting, try reading a book, doing puzzles etc - keep your hands busy!

You’re not disgusting, you are where you are. Cutting out the excess Pepsi and crisps and so now will help you feel better in yourself as they’re poor quality nutritionally, so maybe try to reduce them just for that reason. You are loved, deserving of love and worth treating well! So treat yourself with lovely healthy food, instead of feeling that you have to punish yourself.

And perhaps get support via a local Public Health healthy weight scheme, because this stuff is hard to do alone! They are free, usually run over 10 or 12 weeks, and your GP could refer you, or you may be able to self refer via your local council.

You’re not disgusting.
What helps me is to not think of weight loss as a time of deprivation and being strict, instead think of it in terms that you’re looking after your well being finally.
You’re going to prioritise nourishing your body and stop harming your amazing body with too much sugar and processed food.
Don’t focus on denying yourself crap, focus on gaining health and fitness.

Finding things to do instead of bingeing can help too. What things do you like doing or are interested in doing?

You're not disgusting, OP. I've tried umpteen diets, including fasting, low carb etc. They will all make you lose weight, but only if you can stick to them long term, and almost nobody can. Feeling hungry and deprived makes it almost impossible to resist the stuff you're trying to avoid.

I've realised the only way for me is to eat lots of healthy stuff so that I'm well-nourished, full up, feel good, and therefore much more able to resist the snacks. It may well be that the reason you're snacking so much is that you aren't getting enough calories and nutrients in your main meals.

Drink a big glass of water before a meal, then prioritise veg and fruit. Include whole grains and pulses to fill you up. Small portion of meat/fish if you eat it. Focussing on what you should eat rather than what you shouldn't is much better for your willpower and state of mind imo, because it's based on positive action, not guilt and control.

Everyone has already said it all :) But I'll say it too. You're not disgusting! You're not a pig. You've just got yourself stuck in a rut and now you're ready to do something about it. Not taking your card to uni is an excellent first step OP. Slow, steady steps and you can do this!

If you do 5:2 (which I found to be a manageable way of eating too) I implore you, on your 5 days of normal eating, to give yourself very satisfying main meals.

Start seeing nice meals as a treat as much as snacks are. I changed my mindset and find that if I’ve had a really tasty and filling dinner with protein, carbs and veg that I am far less likely to eat a big bag of crisps as a snack.

You are certainly not disgusting! You are not a pig, you just need to re evaluate. Focus on getting to a healthy BMI, not a dress size. Your overall health is the most important thing here. Have a look at how much protein you have in a day. If you google it, you can calculate how much you should be eating for your size. It’s protein that helps us to feel full up and will help stop the snacking.

I can strongly recommend PHD protein shakes. You can have up to 3 a day, they help fill you up and they are delicious. My current one is chocolate orange and it’s like a pudding!

I’d be hesitant about doing the 30 day shred straight off as it’s high impact and is a difficult one to commit too. I’d maybe do a month or so of walk/jogging, swimming and weights to build up some stamina then maybe look at doing something like the Kayla Itsines work outs.

Use MFP to track your calories, and increase your daily water intake. Does mean you wee every 5 seconds but it’s good for you.

Do not be disheartened. You can do this! Drop in to any of the wonderfully supportive weight loss threads on here for a bit of extra support.

Good luck!!

Oh and I 100% agree with this:

Focussing on what you should eat rather than what you shouldn't is much better for your willpower and state of mind imo

Hating yourself and calling yourself names is not going to help OP. Get as much support as you can, from friends, your husband, online, your GP. Even book a few counselling sessions if you can afford it. It may be that your low self esteem is driving your weight gain rather than the other way around IYSWIM.

Another thing is that I find the only way of not snacking is not to buy the things in the first place. It's really hard to shut the cupboard back up again when you see all those lovely snacks. If they're not there, you have to go to the shop, which is more effort.

Good luck!

Thank You everyone! I think I just didn’t really realise how much I’ve let it spiral out of control. Seeing the number on the scale was a big shock to the system. Going to have a tidy up then go on a walk, I can feel the little voice in my head saying have some crisps (have none in that I like
Thankfully!!) so I’m just going to try keep myself busy. My plan is this:
-no snacking
-no fizzy Pop
(I can’t have just one of anything so easier to just not have them)
-500 calories 2 days a week
-calorie count other days
-lots of water (just been out to buy a bottle)
-try and exercise every day even if it’s just a walk
Around the block
-take photos every month in a size 12 dress I brought last year to ‘slim in to’. I can’t currently get it over my head but will one day!

And thank you so much everyone for the support, I am too embarrassed to talk
About this with anyone in real life. My
Husband is supportive but our sex life has dropped recently and he has never been overweight so I think sometimes he struggles to get away from ‘just don’t eat as much’.

Sounds like you've got a great plan in hand OP :) Do you have a fitbit? I found the step counter very motivating! I'd also suggest you measure yourself once or twice a month - often if your weight isn't dropping and you don't feel any different you'll get disheartened. But if you're measuring yourself you might find that your measurements are slowly but surely dropping and that will save the mood and keep you motivated :) I measure waist, chest, breast, thigh, hips and bicep.

Well done OP. Enjoy your walk. Get some wireless headphones if you haven’t got some already. They’re a game changer for workouts.

My sister weighed roughly what you did and is only 5ft 2 and she also ended up with type 2 diabetes. She lost that weight for good in her late fifties and had spent years on and off diets from about your age after she finished having dc.

It was basically that she was miserable and when stressed she comfort ate. Rather than just saying negative stuff to yourself and hating yourself try and work out why you are binge eating. There will be a reason, you may know it or you may need to work it out. We had a seriously horrible childhood and all of us have issues with food most over eat but two of us tend to not eat enough, we are five sisters.

My sister had a controlling husband, him dying was the start of her mental well-being improving. He actually liked her being fat, guessing he wanted men to not be interested in her. But it all really stems from having a super critical Mother who if you got over a size eight you were fat and no one would love you.

She now has a decent relationship with food and doesn’t binge and maintains her weight at around 9.5 stone.

It took her almost two years to lose that weight, that is no mean feat especially in middle age. I would suggest getting counselling to work out why you have your eating patterns.. My sister ate her misery poor woman, on a very positive note her diabetes hasn’t totally gone but is improved to the point she is on a very small does of her meds.

Good luck.