What happens when step parent dies after other parent.

[Rainingdogsandcats]

Complicated all of a sudden.

I just learned that my step mother died in the middle of January. We weren't in contact. She was married to my stepfather ( who brought me up from a few months old) who died 5 and a half years ago. She was only 58.

She had no other relatives at all.

I feel very sad that she could have been surrounded by grandchdren yet she died alone and myself and my sister have been searched on social media.

I have to contact the hospital tomorrow. She lived in our family home that belonged to my mum ( died 40 odd years ago) and dad. Paid off before she came along.

She was very very wealthy.

My questions are what will we be expected to do? Will we be able to access any insurance to pay for her funeral or anything? Will we even be able to do anything since we're not blood related?

It's going to be very complicated. I can only hope she's made a will so that it's easy to organise.

She wasn't very nice and wasn't nice to my dad.

Is she likely to be of the generation who keeps cash in the house?

Go through it with a solicitor who specialises in inheritance. Please!

blackbear19 I don't think so. I think I'm going to tell the hospital that I'll deal with as much as I'm allowed given that I'm not blood.

I've got a solicitor number so shall give them a call tomorrow and make an appointment with someone who can talk me through it. She gave my dad a decent send off when he died 5 years ago, the least she deserves is the same. I will make contact with the church too.

Thank you for the suggestions. This was completely unexpected and has blind sided me a bit. Brought up some sadness too because I have videos and photos of us all at Christmas and birthdays with my eldest 3 children and we used to have fun. I don't know where it went wrong. It's the last link to my dad and my childhood home and therefore my mum too so unexpectedly more difficult emotionally than I expected.

That sounds like a good plan Raining. It seems really sad that things have ended this way.

I really do hope that she has a will and you are able to find it. I know from experience that it makes settling affairs so much easier especially when there are no direct relations.

Interesting development. My dad signed his house over to her in 2002. She was the sole owner since then.

I'm really sorry Raining. What would have made him do that?
Could you claim that he didn't realise what he was doing?

He was diagnosed with prostrate cancer around then. Maybe it was because of that. He was cured of the cancer. He found out he had lung cancer in December 2013 but didn't want any treatment, he said he'd had enough. He died of a heart attack the following September.

I don't know. I wish I hadn't looked it up, it just feels like another rejection.

I'm not bothered about inheritance, we had a complicated relationship, he never got over my mum's death, I think I reminded him of her, we were very similar. He didn't keep me safe because of the heavy drinking and neglect, we were exposed to characters and situations that we should never have been but I always wanted him to care about me.

I think I'm just going to lay her to rest and then hand it over to the solicitors.

He is no longer your step father once he adopted you. Adopted means he is your father and she is your step mother.

I’m so sorry that this is difficult. Is there any chance that he could have been worried about losing the house when he was diagnosed? I’m hoping it wasn’t a rejection of you per se but due the panic you can have when you get a diagnosis. You have reminded me that I have failed to sort out my own affairs despite having had a diagnosis a few years ago.

You sound lovely and I hope you manage to salvage some photos to help you remember happier times.

Alcohol makes people selfish and cruel. It doesn’t mean that your Dad didn’t love you.

Raining, lay her to rest, have a good rumble around in the house, take any photos or mementos and hand it over to the solicitor to deal with.

Given their is no other close family or friends. Nobody will be interested in 'stuff'. Nobody will know what is there or not.

It all sounds very complicated, esp as he signed the house over. I would still want to see a copy of his Will. I could be wrong or it might be a Scots law but I didn't think you could write your children completely out of your will.
I'd think since they had property they probably do have Wills somewhere.

The bottom line is; you do what feels right and comfortable to you. Then you walk away with your head up and just live your best life.

I would think the solicitor who dealt with the deeds would have encouraged them to make wills - this may or may nt be the person you plan to see.
Take advice on what you can take from the home, I know some of the stuff which remained in my parental home was actually mine - old childhood stuff.
I quite understand that this is a combination of emotions, finances and funeral. Funeral directors (especially if you contact the firm who dealt with your dad) can be very helpful. Do look after yourself in the midst of this, it's difficult.

The chances are they'll say you can't take anything.

But who will actually know or care, esp if its photos and stuff of no real value that house clearance companies will skip. They will be looking for stuff of value that can be auctioned off.

How are you doing Raining?
Have you managed to get anything sorted or access to the house?