Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What happens when step parent dies after other parent.

114 replies

Rainingdogsandcats · 03/02/2020 21:40

Complicated all of a sudden.

I just learned that my step mother died in the middle of January. We weren't in contact. She was married to my stepfather ( who brought me up from a few months old) who died 5 and a half years ago. She was only 58.

She had no other relatives at all.

I feel very sad that she could have been surrounded by grandchdren yet she died alone and myself and my sister have been searched on social media.

I have to contact the hospital tomorrow. She lived in our family home that belonged to my mum ( died 40 odd years ago) and dad. Paid off before she came along.

She was very very wealthy.

My questions are what will we be expected to do? Will we be able to access any insurance to pay for her funeral or anything? Will we even be able to do anything since we're not blood related?

It's going to be very complicated. I can only hope she's made a will so that it's easy to organise.

She wasn't very nice and wasn't nice to my dad.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 03/02/2020 23:37

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/

This explains it. I would start by going to her house to check if there is a will there.

Original poster
Rainingdogsandcats · 03/02/2020 23:38

There's no relatives at all. Her mother died an only child many years ago. Her brother died as a child, her father also many years ago.

Hospital has asked me to go tomorrow.

OP posts:
cuckooken · 03/02/2020 23:39

Hospital has asked me to go tomorrow.

How? And why?

cuckooken · 03/02/2020 23:40

I would start by going to her house to check if there is a will there.

OP can't just go into her house Confused

Original poster
Rainingdogsandcats · 03/02/2020 23:42

Surely any will would be with her solicitor.

Hospital trust were appealing for any relatives. I called, explained who I was so they asked if I'd go in.

OP posts:
BillieEilish · 03/02/2020 23:42

I really believe you believe you might inherit, you won't, unless a will says so.

You are basically not a relation of this woman at all. This sounds harsh, I'm sorry Flowers

You didn't like her, don't go to the hospital. This was a woman married to your step dad. No relation.

TheFaerieQueene · 03/02/2020 23:42

If your step father didn’t adopt you, I’m not sure there is any sort of familial link between you and her.

BillieEilish · 03/02/2020 23:42

Were you adopted by either person OP?

Pipandmum · 03/02/2020 23:43

So your step dad remarried after your mother died. Did he adopt you?
If she has no next of kin the estate would go to the state. However, as the house was originally your mother's and your step dad inherited upon her death (and his new wife upon his death), you may have a claim. Do you know if your step dads wife had a will? Who told you about her death?
Was her wealth hers before her marriage to your step dad? I can't see you have any claim to that, but you may to the house.
You need to find out if she had a will and what arrangements she made about her funeral etc. But legally I don't think you're obliged to do anything, and not sure, in the absence of anyone else, you even could.

Original poster
Rainingdogsandcats · 03/02/2020 23:43

My step father adopted myself and my sister.

OP posts:
cuckooken · 03/02/2020 23:44

My step father adopted myself and my sister.

Your stepfather, your dad now your adopted father?

OP get the facts clear because right now the best solicitor in the country would struggle to help Confused

BillieEilish · 03/02/2020 23:44

Don't go to the hospital! It is not your relative or your problem. don't worry!

DillBaby · 03/02/2020 23:45

There's no relatives at all
Solicitors will try to trace relatives. Her mother’s cousin’s grandchild, for example, is a blood relative. If no relatives can be found the estate will go to the Crown. You have no claim unless she left a will.

BillieEilish · 03/02/2020 23:46

So your step father adopted you and is your Dad?

Totally Hmm confused, sorry.

Original poster
Rainingdogsandcats · 03/02/2020 23:48

Yes her wealth was hers during her marriage to my (s) dad from her mum.

We used to get along well, I don't know what happened to her but she became abusive to my dad, physically and mentally. My dad was a weak man, he never got over my mum's death. They were both alcoholics eventually. She made it really difficult for us to go and see my dad. We knew she'd die lonely. I find it sad that she could have been surrounded by lots of grandchildren after my dad died, she was only 58 when she died. My dad was 83 when he died 5 years ago.

I never had anything from my dad, never asked for anything and he did neglect us badly after my mum died but I would like to keep some photos. Maybe there's some of us as kids in the house, there certainly used to be.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rainingdogsandcats · 03/02/2020 23:50

Yes. The man who met my mum when I was 8 months old adopted me and my sister. We've just always called him our dad. I've referred to him as stepfather in this post as he wasn't our bio dad.

Does the fact that he adopted is mean that he's not our stepdad then?

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 03/02/2020 23:51

Don't go to the hospital. Not your problem. Don't take any responsibility for this person. She is nothing to you. If you go, you may be stuck with sorting everything out.

Original poster
Rainingdogsandcats · 03/02/2020 23:53

Surely I can't just leave her there. Whatever the history, she was married to my dad for 20 years. I don't think he'd want her just left at the hospital with no-one.

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 03/02/2020 23:56

Yes you can leave her. You are not related. This is not your problem.

BillieEilish · 03/02/2020 23:57

This woman did not adopt you and is no blood relation of yours ,nor did you like her or have contact with her.

Please don't worry now she is dead! She has inherited everything and it will go to her blood or adopted relatives and then the Crown.

You are not her relative or adopted relative.

SW16 · 03/02/2020 23:57

OP Firstly I can see no reason not to go to the hospital.

Perfectly reasonable to describe your Step father as your father, who adopted you.

It may we’ll be that it can be demonstrated that your Mum passed the house to your Step Father / legal father and it was passed to his wife, and that you and your sister would indeed have a claim.

Much better that your Mother’s house goes to you than the government.

But you might be better asking advice on the Legal board.

And talking to a solicitor.

cuckooken · 03/02/2020 23:58

Surely I can't just leave her there. Whatever the history, she was married to my dad for 20 years. I don't think he'd want her just left at the hospital with no-one.

The same dad/notdad/stepdad/adopteddad that neglected you badly after your mum died Hmm

BillieEilish · 03/02/2020 23:59

As in, she didn't adopt you! Your step dad did, but he died and passed inheritance on.

ChristmasCarcass · 04/02/2020 00:01

OP, if your dad adopted you, you may have been entitled to something from his estate when he died (depending on how much he was worth).

From gov.uk:

“The husband, wife or civil partner keeps all the assets (including property), up to £250,000, and all the personal possessions, whatever their value.

The remainder of the estate will be shared as follows:

the husband, wife or civil partner gets an absolute interest in half of the remainder
the other half is then divided equally between the surviving children”

You aren’t entitled to anything from this woman’s estate, any more than you are entitled to the bin man’s when he dies. You aren’t even entitled to personal effects like your father’s photos (your step mum would have automatically inherited these from your dad), though the executor may let you buy stuff from the estate if it would go to landfill otherwise. I realise it’s painful, but the time to fix this was when your DF died, the ship has sailed now.

BillieEilish · 04/02/2020 00:01

Yes, see a lawyer as you are clearly after inheritance from a woman you are not related to.

She WILL have relatives, somewhere and they'll find them.