What's it like to be rich?

[Hoolajerry]

Was driving home today thinking about how if I could I would get rid of my wardrobe and start again. That is not an option. Between work, 4 dc and volunteering our lives are exceptionally busy and despite having a good income we don't have the freedom to do what we like. I was just wondering if you are truly rich what is your life like? Does someone else do all your menial tasks? Kids in private schools? Lots of holidays, shopping, eating out and activities?
Anyone actually consider themselves to be rich or is it all relative and we all actually have constraints on our daily lives that aren't actually connected to money?
Just wondering....

fly first class

Now THAT is why I'd like to be rich. If I ever was able to fly first class, I'd be in no doubt that I was well off! Seriously, more than anything it indicates having money. And I'd love the space and being fussed over...and the food!

Garlic, through sensible property decisions and having the vision to see what might be rather than what is. My high-paying job pays the day to day living costs, his investment business is building our wealth.
What also helps is not getting divorced, or separated, or having kids with the wrong person.

Through work I’ve got to know and become friendly with quite a lot of rich people- of all types (heirs to family money eg minor royals/ landed gentry, celebrities, businesspeople, investors etc etc).

I would say that rich isn’t a uniform “thing” and actually although I’m currently pretty much destitute after a hard couple of years, I would say that many of the things that being rich enables, I wouldn’t want.

I think I’d be happier “comfortable” than “rich” and I want it to come from talent and hard work, not luck.

It seems to me that those people are the happiest.

My last employer was very rich from inheriting a family business. He and his wife never lifted a finger. They had a housekeeper who cleaned and washed and cooked and answered the door, a PA who dealt with their bills and any other admin, a gardener, a driver on call so they could drink and not have to look for a parking space, a nanny who took care of the youngest DC and looked after him overnight so they could sleep, a tutor who came in to do homework with the older DC and quite often just did it for them. Basically everything was done for them.

They had no concept of keeping stuff for “best”. They just had the best every day. They bought whatever they wanted without thinking, whether that was a £10k necklace or another house or their fifth holiday of the year.

One time the boss drove himself for a change and some random woman nipped into the parking space he was waiting for. He wound his window down and said Wtf? and she said in a smarmy voice “That’s what you can do when you have a nippy little car!”. So he rammed his massive 4x4 into her car repeatedly and absolutely destroyed it. Then said “That’s what you can do when you’re a fucking multi millionaire, here are my insurance details”.

I don’t agree with a previous poster saying ‘almost everything can be alleviated with money’, money doesn’t buy manners, humility, kindness or any of the truly important things in life - the only condition money treats is materialism

Most rich people I know (let's say, net wealth of $4 to $20 million, so not rich rich) are not that materialistic. They like leisure, not things. It's considered poor taste to be into "things" these days.

I know someone who is extremely rich (at least by my standards!). V expensive private schooling, staff at home, they never have to wash up etc. Lots of holidays to faraway places, skiing, yachts. Completely unable to budget within the "allowance" given by their parents (we're students). Nice clothes, no worries about spending. Lovely person, but needed a lot of education about the real world despite having lefty views and a somewhat academic awareness of privilege.

I follow Mr. Micawber's rule of happiness, and always have sixpence left over.

I have friends with "f**k off" money (not that they would ever say that - too vulgar). Their life is run by staff. Cook, housekeeper/cleaners, Gardners, estate manager, office staff, driver.
The cook rocks up once a week (ish) and goes through the families meals and any entertaining to be done. All management of their homes is done by the housekeeper who in turn delegates to the staff. All travel is booked by the estate office. Children are in boarding school. They have lots of land and horses on site for when children are home. there were two full time nannies for when the children were young. It is generational wealth and they handle it with discretion (as in you would never feel "less than")and aplomb.
From the outside it looks like heaven to me! They bring the best of themselves to life, unperturbed by the stresses and strains that the majority have. They have the usual human considerations but not the financial restrictions.

user764329056 - It is not just materialism though user. The qualities of manners, kindness and humility are not belonging to the poor. Wealth can remove worry. Lack of money can throw so many complications in someone's way - wealth removes that. The intelligence of the person with money will determine how they use that gift/ luck/ accident of birth,/hard work benefit- what ever you want to call it!

We are dealing with cancer in my family at the moment. Life. Having life, healthy wonderful Life. That is being rich.

@AdaFromYorkshire You sound fab .

For those who see travelling First Class as a signifier of success, may I tell you that it is extremely overrated. You are in a tiny cabin - alone - and it is very boring. At least in Business Class you can look at other people and occasionally exchange small talk. In First, you can't even see anyone else. And forget about mingling with celebrities, they never leave their cabins and never seem to eat or pop to the loo or anything. The First Class bar is always empty so you just sit there like a Billy No Mates until you shuffle back to your cabin.

I'd like more money. I'd like to be able to help my children onto the property ladder and I'd like to do up the house we live in (realistically needs £20,000 - £30,000 spent on it). I'd like a gardener for 3 hours a week and someone to cook two or three family meals per week. I'd like to be able to afford to go skiing every year and to be able to take maybe 10 weeks holiday and to treat other family and friends to big presents. I can't see that costing £10 million though . I honestly think having a lot of money is quite stressful.

Agreeing with @stir. Having your health is a blessing - no money in the world can pay for a cancer cure.

There are downsides, never knowing if people around you are being honest with you. Whether people have an agenda, surely ending with you having to pay something/or wanting investment capital(casually put as 'seed money')
Triple vetting home staff, investing in major security protocol and always having to be on alert for potential dangerous situation-especially for loved ones. Sodding attempted armed robberies, tend to lead horrifying insomnia.
I grew up poor, so it was a major learning curve to navigate lifestyle changes and handle others expectations.
People don't tend to understand any struggles I may have or vulnerabilities- they tend to be exploited-hence I am pretty much a recluse these days.
Unfortunately the idea of someone with money having problems is ridiculed within in my circle-so it's definitely lonely.
Also once you reach your goals, at least for me, has been a terrible period. You become somewhat lost and everything becomes same same.
Yes it nice to be able to buy what you want, but things don't make you happy.

Mariefromdttropez - that sounds blissful

It would be strange not to have goals I think, I imagine feeling a bit aimless if I could ‘have it all’, sort of not having a purpose, I don’t know, that’s probably just my opinion but I have wealthy friends who have more or less taught their daughter that she doesn’t have to strive for anything, they will give it to her, and I know that wouldn’t make me happy as I need to feel I’m achieving something through working

Joystir59

Absolutely!!! We went through this recently and it changes your whole perspective on what's important in life.
I am sorry you are going through this.

I think we are quite well off, although you would never think so. We are very humble and try not to be very flashy. It's just the way we are really. But we don't have to worry which is great!

Agree Mary. I have never flown first but flown business class a couple times. After the novelty wears off it is actually quite boring. No body talks to you. At least in economy people chat and there is “we are all in this together” feeling.

It depends what you mean by rich. When I was younger I would have thought with two six figure salaries in the household I would feel rich but I don't, although I am certainly comfortable. We live in a detached but ordinary house in the London suburbs. We have a cleaner and nanny, but the latter is just to enable us to work. We were able to pay for a private school when we got the worst local primary in the school allocations but probably couldn't do it if we had more than one child. We do go on nice holidays but fly economy.

We both work full time and are permanently exhausted. Our day to day life doesn't sound that different to the OPs.

I think to feel properly rich you would not need to work and we are certainly not there.

I was rich once and it was wonderful. I had no worries. I could spend freely (but I’m taking replacing a pair of Asda leggings instead of walking around with holes in them - I was never show offish and even though I could’ve bought designer clothes, I don’t have the interest).

I got Quite sick once and paid for the best treatment and care. Private Dr on call 24/7, consultants mobile number to hand to call anytime I liked.

It want my money though it was my husbands/his family.

When we divorced I was given the option of walking away with the clothes on my back and Ds or talking ds and not having to fight.

I took nothing and went from that to housing benefit. They are cunts, if I’d fought them I’d never have come away with anything anyway. They are powerful and well known.

I’m poor now and miserable even though my life is the same day to day (I still shopped at Asda despite being taken the piss out of, cleans my own huge house even though I could have bought in help etc), money meant I had no worries About anything.

Sorry was given the option of taking Ds and keeping nothing, or having to fight for ds if I kept any houses or money.

I didn’t want to put myself through it. I have Ds 100%, hes 17 now and sees his dad and family rarely.

I'm rich and honestly it is wonderful.
I was brought up never having to worry about money and I've been really poor to the point I didnt have money for food or rent. Having money does mean that you have less worries and can focus more and what you want in life, it gives you choices.

I'm to spend more time with my daughter, visit my family who live in a different country more often, go on more holidays and I dont worry about every day costs. Of course having money doesnt guarantee that you'll be happy as it cant guarantee health (although you can pay for private health care), good relationships and happiness but to me that's a given. Much (to an extent of course) of life is about attitude and how you view life and how you can change your circumstances.

I feel really lucky and blessed❤