Coffee shops on a Sunday morning and children

[Needmorecaffine]

This will kick off no doubt but hey. Slightly tongue in cheek.

Coffee shops on a Sunday morning should be a haven for adults who seek to get away in piece and quiet from every day life for an hour. That means getting away from your own children , DH etc

So been here 5 mins , had to queue behind a mother with her toddler using the display of pastries like choosing sweets in a sweet shop ! Just pick up a croissant get your latte soya single shot and move along !

Then we have the child , mother and grandmother. The GM doing the exaggerated parenting in this case with the GC much to the horror of her own DD. Thankfully they've gone.

Piece and quiet now reins ....

I'll see you annoying coffee shop children and counter with Saturday dinner running about.
When did family friendly become kids fee for all?

there were no coffee shops when I was bringing my kids up in the 80s/90s.

Really? There weren't any coffee shops anywhere in the 80s/90s? I find that hard to believe. Mostly because I remember the 80s and 90s very well and I remember there being coffee shops. There were cafes too...that sold coffee. They were often full of mums and little ones.

Oh and for those who say enjoy that time with your teens.

Mines a swimmer. I spend 6 times a week taking him training and at least once a month at a pool with him whilst he competes. My Sunday morning whilst he revises for his GCSEs and I chat adult with my friend are the only me time I get!

there were no coffee shops when I was bringing my kids up in the 80s/90s.

Of course there were. I grew up in the nineties and spent plenty of time in coffee shops and tea rooms. Often they were filled with mum and toddler groups, especially during the week!

They didn't need the restaurant to provide a kids menu and colouring books for a newborn

Irrelevant.

If I'm in a restaurant at 9pm on a Saturday night, with a bar that serves alcohol and is not a family friendly chain type place then I dont want to sit next to someone else's baby. I didn't take my own dc because it's not that type of place.

I'm making the point that it was a fine dining type of place rather than a family friendly chain restaurant.

In that case saying “fine dining” would have sufficed. Instead of all the references to how much the babysitter had cost you.

I've had my parent friends say to me "how will they learn to behave when out if we don't take them" but somehow, my generation learned. What a mystery.

Did you though, when you seem unable or unwilling to share public spaces with anyone else? I would argue that your parents have done you a disservice by bringing you up to be so intolerant of others - perhaps the next, better-socialised generation are able to co-exist with a little less angst.

Went to a coffee shop/cafe this morning. Children, dogs and people with laptops were allowed only in one half of the cafe and the other half was adults only. I didn’t mind (went with my 2 young children), but it was eye wateringly expensive. Child free places exist. Maybe you need to be splashing more cash in order to find them. Surely only top notch places can afford to turn away well deserving customers desperately in need of coffee (parents with young children!).

By the way, my dad used to take me swimming and then to a café every Sunday morning when my brother was a baby, and then both of us when we were older. There's a photo. I must ask him how he managed to do in this in 1987, when there were no cafés and no one would ever have dreamt of taking a toddler into somewhere that served food or coffee..

Instead of all the references to how much the babysitter had cost you

It's very relevant. I was paying money because it was not a,suitable place for babies and children. Why should I sit next to someone else's baby when I've been considerate and sensible unlike them? If I want to go out for dinner I'd either pay a babysitter or go somewhere suitable for children like pizza express/nandos.

There is one near me and I go there regularly. It's a fantastic local place and it's incredibly popular. They've done incredibly well for themselves in a tourist area that normally only ever caters to families with young children.

Then I'm very confused to why you posted saying 'why can't a café cater only to adults?'. You obviously already know that they can, and do.

needmorecaffeine have you cut and run? So many passive/aggressive comments on your thread I wouldn't blame you if you had!

Why should I sit next to someone else's baby when I've been considerate and sensible unlike them?

Because it’s a public space regardless of how much money you throw at it. If you want rights over who should sit next to you- eat at home.

And guess what- the newborns parents paid a lot of money to eat there too. It’s still didn’t cushion them from being sat next to intolerant people.

Still here. Have other things to do now I've finished having coffee 👍🤣

I work with my laptop almost every week day morning and then take my kids to the same place most weekends. Fantastic coffee, best around.
Doesn't bother me in the slightest during the week when people come in with their small kids, sweaty cyclists or loud chatty old people (unless they try to engage me in hours of conversation). If I wanted peace and quiet I'd stay at home.

Because it’s a public space regardless of how much money you throw at it. If you want rights over who should sit next to you

It's perfectly reasonable to expect a fine dining restaurant that serves alcohol to be childfree on a Saturday night.

YABU.

My dc is well past that stage, and spends the whole of her Sunday morning doing her hobby, so I quite often frequent coffee shops on a Sunday morning. I get that the noise from small children can be bloody irritating when you just want a bit of peace, but they have as much right to be there as you do, so you have to just suck it up.

We have 2 cafes near me that ONLY cater for kids and families. They have a lot of floor space and some toys and do kids parties. During the day lots of parents meet up there rather than a soft play place.

I would never have taken my toddlers anywhere where they were expected to sit still for more than 20 mins. Toddlers aren’t programmed to sit still and keep relatively quiet. They want to explore their surroundings, climb on things and jump off. Or run round and chase each other. Totally unreasonable to take your small child to a cramped coffee shop with lots of customers seated in close proximity to each other while you sit and gossip with your friend for an hour. Never mind the other customers, it’s not what is best for the child. If you want to chat to your friend for an hour and have a toddler in tow, go to the park or to a soft play place where your child can run and explore and shout to their heart’s content.

I always feel sorry for littlies expected to sit like princes and princesses for over an hour getting ignored or having an iPad shoved at them to keep them quiet. The way you socialise a small child in situations like coffee shop is to do it in small doses, 20 mins max. with lots of interaction with the adults with them, and instructions like “the pastries are X/Y/Z flavoured, which one would you like? No, come back here and decide, the gentleman behind you is wanting his turn, we can’t take too long”.

They should not be allowed to run round as it’s dangerous with hot cups of coffee over their heads on trays. And they should be told not to be so loud if they decide they want to scream to get everyone’s attention. “Stop that, the ladies behind us want to Be able to hear what the other one says, and they can’t if you are screaming.”

As soon as the child gets restless or doesn’t want to do what their parent says, they should be taken out for a few mins, and if they still don’t settle back down then their parent should be prepared to cut their visit short.

In my view it’s literally about socialising your children. I am happy to share a public place with small children if they are well-behaved. On the plane last year there were a couple of little kids who were charming the whole way through. I was playing peekaboo with them. The bratty, spoilt one nearby dropping rubbish at their feet and climbing on the seat and banging it, while their parents ignored the behaviour with no apologies to the people they were annoying , I wasn’t so enamoured with.

I don’t think it’s kids in coffee shops that is the issue, it is the lack of responsible parenting that accompanied them that’s the problem.

We were in a fish restaurant yesterday and the whole meal was spoiled by an extended family with kids who proceeded to scream at each other the whole time . I really do hate these parents who carry on with their chat and ignore their offspring. As Micky Flanagan would say ' we dont think you are a cool parent, we think you are a lazy cunt"

I was paying money because it was not a suitable place for babies and children. Why should I sit next to someone else's baby when I've been considerate and sensible unlike them?

Surely it's up to the owners of the restaurant to decide whether it's suitable though. If the couple with the baby were allowed to go and eat there, then all the righteous rage in the world doesn't give you more of a 'right' to be there than them. 'Considerate and sensible' are wildly subjective concepts - the rules on who may or may not eat there were set by the restaurant and they sided with this other couple, evidently.

And i didn't demand that they were chucked out. I asked if i could move tables. I don't want to spend my one rare childfree night drinking cocktails and talking in peace with my dh to be interrupted by their screaming baby. If we'd gone to pizza hut, then fine, I'd expect families to be there.

Then I'm very confused to why you posted saying 'why can't a café cater only to adults?'. You obviously already know that they can, and do.

OP has suggested that she wants a child-free space to have coffee on a Sunday morning and has been bombarded with people saying it would never work, it's a shit idea, it's biased against kids etc.

YABVU but I feel the same when I have rare childfree moments. I’m hypocritically also the mum of small children likely to be frequenting the cafe at other times! I find wine bars good (though perhaps not on Sunday morning)

It's perfectly reasonable to expect a fine dining restaurant that serves alcohol to be childfree on a Saturday night.

Toddlers and kids- yes. A newborn? No. I’d expect to see. Newborn or two regardless of how much your dinner cost.