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Original poster

What are the best/worst things you've experienced at a wedding?

313 replies

Turniptracker · 30/01/2020 21:32

Just started planning a wedding and it got me thinking about the best and worst things about weddings I've attended in the past. The worst was a wedding where we kept getting moved from room to room for each stage of the wedding, we were kicked off the dining tables after our last mouthful of dessert and had to stand up in a cold stable with no chairs to juggle coffee and chocs (hello indigestion). Best by far, but for all the wrong reasons, was watching a groomsman rip his trousers through vigorous dancing and he was so drunk he proceeded to just rip all his clothes off and dance in his pants Grin
Any "best things" for good reasons also welcome!

OP posts:
edgewater · 04/02/2020 17:15

Best
I hate saying it but our circle of friends say ours. We got married in our garden. We had a BBQ, enough drink to sink a ship, entertainment, kids games, bouncy castle and we asked that people didn’t get dressed up. Our only condition was no football t shirts.

Worst
The bride turned up drunk. Had been up all night. The bride and groom fought after the reception. It was awful.

MAFIL · 04/02/2020 17:34

Worst, absolutely without doubt, was a distant relative's wedding when I was a child. We didn't really know anybody and when we got to the reception all the children were herded off into a different room where we were fed some barely edible sausage and chips and there was a dire entertainer who I felt insulted my intelligence, though I was only about 6. My poor sister who was in her teens suffered even more as she was expected to look after all these strange children as she was the eldest. To add insult to injury, we could see into the room where the adults were and their food looked really good. My Mum said she wanted to come and rescue us but she didn't want to cause offence. I think we fled as soon as the cake was cut and we stopped somewhere on the way home to get something proper for me and my sister to eat. It is over 40 years ago and my sister and I still talk about what an awful day it was. When we cleared our parents' house after they died we found some photos of the day, and there was even a separate photo of the children - we weren't allowed to mix with the adult guests at all. Very weird.

IrmaFayLear · 04/02/2020 17:39

Just shows there's no pleasing all of the people all of the time. Several people on this thread have said how they liked having a separate room/entertainment for their children. I really don't see how you can have a 40-year trauma over sausage and chips at a wedding.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
WooMaWang · 04/02/2020 18:13

I'm not sure you could replicate the worst wedding I've ever been to, even if you wanted to. The bride had recently decided to become Muslim (and was incredibly zealous about it). She'd met a guy through some kind of Muslim marriage broker (I'm not sure they'd met more than a couple of times before the wedding). He had no family at the wedding and literally one single friend as a guest. The bride's mother had invited her own friends mostly. There were about 80 guests, so it was really noticeable that the groom had none.

The bride decreed that it would be a dry wedding (and the bar would be closed) with no music. And that we'd be treated to a full Muslim ceremony with an imam (even though the groom didn't want this). On the day, the imam was 2 or 3 hours late (because, we are pretty certain, he'd been watching the cricket). The bride arrived and had a full screaming temper tantrum that everyone heard. Once her mum had calmed her down, it was decided that the groom's friend would do an unofficial ceremony and we'd move on to the meal. Then they'd get a registrar to sort it out afterward.

So we sat through a very long fake ceremony that precisely no one could understand a word of. Just as it was coming to an end, the imam turned up. So we got to sit through the ceremony again. And it was even longer. The groom kept gesturing to him to hurry up.

Finally married, we could move on to hours of photographs. And some sort of sparkling elderflower drink. This was the only thing available at any time during the entire wedding. It was a room full of Glaswegians in Glasgow city centre, so people kept popping out to the pub to get a drink of something that didn't taste like old ladies underwear drawer.

The food, admittedly, was very nice. But there was no entertainment at all. Well, after dinner they brought out board games. Must people left by early evening because the thought of playing monopoly in a quiet room was so awful.

My baby DS2 got sick so I got none of the food. But I had a truly brilliant excuse to go home really early.

MAFIL · 04/02/2020 18:14

Well hardly trauma IrmaFayLear but it was memorable, for all the wrong reasons.. Don't you reminisce about memorable events in your childhood? Personally I can't see the point in inviting children if you are going to basically lock them in a separate room and feed them junk food. If you want a child free wedding, have the courage of your convictions and have a child free wedding.

WooMaWang · 04/02/2020 18:24

Surely there's some middle ground there though. You don't have to banish children to another room and keep them captive there. But loads of parents really appreciate the offer of a separate room with childcare so they can eat their own meal in peace. Similarly, there's a highly likelihood that sausages and chips would go down better with many kids than whatever was being served in the main room. It can just be an option (that many, many parents would probably be really grateful for).

I thought it was a brilliant idea when it was an option at a wedding I was at. And DS1 (then 4) totally agreed that it was much more fun.

OhNoMyCheds · 04/02/2020 18:28

one of the best weddings I went to I barely knew either the bride or groom but the bride came straight over to me to talk and make me feel really welcome at her wedding. So really the fluff and expense is one thing, but the commitment to being present during the day is what will make the difference to the guests. At our wedding my husband and I really made the effort to get round to everyone who had come to share the day with us, we were so grateful to everyone for being there and it was simply one of the best days because of those who were there. Just remember that weeks after your wedding your horse drawn carriage and doves will be gone but the friends and family who celebrated with you will be there for much longer. Enjoy and congrats

IrmaFayLear · 04/02/2020 18:34

Sausage and chips wasn't "junk food" 40 years ago - it was standard fare! As WooMaWang observes, most children would be entirely happy with sausage and chips, and throw a wobbly if faced with... erm, what was wedding food 40 years ago... probably not nouvelle cuisine, possibly a plate of chicken supreme and some dauphinoise potatoes.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 04/02/2020 18:43

A really tone-deaf speech from the best man making loads of rude and insensitive 'jokes' about members of the wedding party....

EyUpDuck12 · 04/02/2020 18:50

Wedding receptions I've worked on:
Mother of the bride had massive black eye and when everyone asked (repeatedly, there were a lot of guests) she said pointedly "I fell" in a tone of voice which left everyone clear she did not fall....
Bride and Groom argued massively, didn't speak the rest of the night and never came back for their incredibly expensive looking cake Hmm
Parents of unaccompanied teens pissed, teens having sex outdoors....
Drunken guests dancing on table, slipped and smashed a glass into their bottom. Blood everywhere....

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 04/02/2020 18:52

The best thing I saw was a fish and chip van for the evening do. Much better than buffet food. Hard to get excited about tired looking ham sandwiches and slices of quiche...

MAFIL · 04/02/2020 18:55

Speak for yourself Irma but I am pretty sure I know what was standard fare in our family 40 years ago as I was there. And it wasn't sausage and chips, so I was shocked to be served that at a special occasion. Sorry if that is "wrong" - I thought that this was a thread about opinions. People who like separate children's rooms and sausages are entitled to their opinions and I am entitled to think that both are shit. The adult meal was roast chicken actually. Dessert was Black Forest gateaux - very fashionable in the 70s of course.

Sleepthiefsmum18 · 04/02/2020 19:22

Worst: we were provided with 1 glass of wine for the meal (poured out by a server) and when it was gone there was no one to buy more from because the bar staff were also serving the meals. They then ran out of all mixers so we had to drink gin and orange.

Best: great band

BikeRunSki · 04/02/2020 19:35

Just remember that weeks after your wedding your horse drawn carriage and doves will be gone but the friends and family who celebrated with you will be there for much longer.

Absolutely this

Fairypiggy · 04/02/2020 21:46

@MAFIL I agree that children’s room sounds bad. I would have really hated to have been put in charge of looking after that other children like your sister was when I was 13 and would have been upset if that was expected of me without being asked before hand.
My brother and sister in-law had great children’s entertainment at their wedding, children were free to go in and out as they wanted and it was run by two adults hired to look after the children.

Dyrne · 04/02/2020 21:51

Agree that there’s a massive difference between “a room for DC to go and chill out/play in” and “children are going to be shut away in here for the duration”.

SirVixofVixHall · 04/02/2020 21:53

A friend had sex with the bridesmaid AT HIS OWN WEDDING.

HoppingPavlova · 05/02/2020 07:15

I’ve never been to a wedding where the children’s fish was anything other than chicken nuggets and chips (with tomato sauce for dipping both nuggets and chipsGrin). It’s a safe choice, every kid eats it. I can think of nothing worse than a whole bunch of whingey children due to being hungry all night because they refused to eat the adult meal put in front of them so very sensible really.

I’m now in the embarrassing position of having most of my kids harangue me to see if they can get the kids meal whenever we get a wedding invite. The eldest who requests this is in their early 20’sBlush. It’s embarrassing. I say no but I do request it for my youngest who is a teen. They then swap dishes at the table Hmm. Then there is the inevitable swap around between us as youngest won’t eat salmon and for some reason most weddings have salmon as the alternate dish, and eldest kid gets salmon. So someone swaps with eldest so they can then do a swap with youngest to get their nuggets and chips. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they requested a special plate of nuggets and chips if they get married. Hardly likely though as if I was a woman and saw this ridiculous debacle involving swapping of dishes I would run a mile and it wouldn’t be down the isle Grin.

Lipperfromchipper · 05/02/2020 07:43

@HoppingPavlova at my wedding the kids had pasta (with sauce or without ) and veggies on the side.

Ragwort · 05/02/2020 08:03

So many that I've got to the stage in life where, unless it is very close family, I politely decline a wedding invite Grin.

Worse - invited to a child free wedding, totally fine, arranged childcare, looking forward to a child free weekend only to find we were sat on the same table as the bride's nieces and nephews, quite understand that they were invited, but absolutely did not want to sit with them and make small talk, and am sure they didn't want to sit with us either Hmm.

Naff 'country house' type venues in the middle of nowhere, I do expect hosts to provide drinks and wine, tedious wait whilst photos are taken, tasteless speeches, bland meals, second tier guests being invited for an evening 'disco'. Most weddings go on for far too long.

WooMaWang · 05/02/2020 09:14

I was once subjected to an Irish wedding outside my hotel room in Malta. It was terrible. We could hear every word of the very long, boring speeches. Much of the content was so generic it appeared to have been taken from weddingspeeches.com (which probably exists, sadly).

I totally agree with whoever said upthread that speeches should take up no more than 15 minutes. Collectively, not individually. Then everyone can get on with enjoying themselves. And there should never be PowerPoint slides.

ScissorsPalace · 05/02/2020 11:18

@WooMaWang

I don’t think that’s an Irish thing, more a boring bore thing!

twosoups1972 · 05/02/2020 12:22

This thread has been an eye opener.

Standard weddings really go on all day??

Jewish weddings start at 3/3.30/4 followed by a reception then party. Usually finish by 11.30. That’s long enough surely?

MAFIL · 05/02/2020 12:45

I think there is a huge variation twosoups
It does seem to be popular to have an all day event nowadays but it isn't mandatory. We didn't. We got married at midday then had a sit down meal for the guests and that was it. Done and dusted by early evening.
I am not sure there is such a thing as a standard wedding really, people do all kinds of things. I've never been to a wedding where chicken nuggets are on the menu or where people have been drunk. Or one in a castle, or where doves are released or where the groom arrived on a horse or in a helicopter. But people do all of these things. I guess they are normal, but not within my sphere of experience.
I think there is a lot more variation nowadays than when I was growing up.

WooMaWang · 05/02/2020 12:46

No. I don't think it was an Irish thing. It just happened to be an Irish wedding. I wasn't implying that the Irish are somehow more dull than anyone else. Sadly the accents did not improve the long, boring speeches they subjected their guests (and everyone else) to.

However, they were particularly rowdy later on 😂. But, again, no more rowdy than, for example, a Glaswegian wedding would generally be.