Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What are the best/worst things you've experienced at a wedding?

313 replies

Turniptracker · 30/01/2020 21:32

Just started planning a wedding and it got me thinking about the best and worst things about weddings I've attended in the past. The worst was a wedding where we kept getting moved from room to room for each stage of the wedding, we were kicked off the dining tables after our last mouthful of dessert and had to stand up in a cold stable with no chairs to juggle coffee and chocs (hello indigestion). Best by far, but for all the wrong reasons, was watching a groomsman rip his trousers through vigorous dancing and he was so drunk he proceeded to just rip all his clothes off and dance in his pants Grin
Any "best things" for good reasons also welcome!

OP posts:
wrinkledimplelover · 02/02/2020 11:58

I used to work at upscale weddings doing the bar. I've been present at hundreds.

Without a doubt what makes a wedding is the bride being happy. Whatever goes wrong, she doesn't stress, just gets on with celebrating. Because if the bride isn't relaxed, NOBODY is.

And the worst is if the bride is stressed. It doesn't matter why, doesn't matter how legitimate a reason she has, everybody wants her to be happy and if she shows she's not, they're not allowed to be either..and most feel genuinely upset for her, or at least uncomfortable. The only way this can get worse is if the MOB is stressing with her. Both these are worse than an actual fight breaking out, because in that case people will take the bride's side.

It also helps to tailor your wedding to the attendees. There's no point having a big fabulous ceilidh band (my personal favourite at a wedding) and your wedding attendees mostly elderly or frail. 8 people in the dance floor who are basically siblings or cousins doesn't make for a great evening.

Spend money on making guests feel welcome and appreciated over fancy decorations, although have both if that's affordable.

ColourMyDreams · 02/02/2020 14:18

Worse.
The wedding of a friend. She had nothing but a slice of wedding cake and a choice of tea, coffee or water to wash it down.
Best.
A wedding reception in which the bride and groom had fish and chips delivered to all the guests.

goose1964 · 02/02/2020 14:22

Bad,from ours. We went to a beauty spot for our photos and guests went on to the reception venue and had to wait over an hour for this. If we'd told the guests they could have gone to the pub or something whilst they were waiting. Best DBF arranged for candles and wine to be served whilst the venue changed the room around at her wedding.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
goose1964 · 02/02/2020 14:23

Candles? Canapes

PatellarTendonitis · 02/02/2020 14:27

Without a doubt what makes a wedding is the bride being happy. Whatever goes wrong, she doesn't stress, just gets on with celebrating. Because if the bride isn't relaxed, NOBODY is.

In reality, most of the guests won't notice or probably give much of a toss if the bride is not relaxed if what she and the groom wanted was to use teh guests as extras in their showmance and the guests are left starving, standing round for hours with nowt to do whilst photos and superfluous crap happens, food runs out, dress codes and themes, evening do's where guests are left waiting round for the a-listers to finish up and then there's no catering put on at all, etc.

Throughout history weddings have been feasts, not about one person, the bride, or a pseudo film set.

From the responses on here, the best weddings have been ones that had a feasting sort of atmosphere.

What is with all these photos taking hours and hours? Why? No one but the couple and their nearest and dearest are going to look at them and then, it's not like they're not going to remember being there.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 02/02/2020 14:32

I think the free bar is an American thing - in the UK, not so much. As long as you provide reception drinks, wine with the meal and fizz for the toast I think the guests will feel well looked after! But most of all, do what YOU will enjoy for your big day.

PatellarTendonitis · 02/02/2020 14:37

I think the free bar is an American thing - in the UK, not so much.

Why do people automatically assume things like this? Free bars are quite common in Mediterranean, E. European and Asian cultures.

ProfYaffle · 02/02/2020 14:40

Worst wedding - on the Bride's family's farm. Marquee on the lawn but no-one allowed inside the house. Marquee was unheated and we all froze. People were passing out blankets and spare coats from their cars.

The 'toilets' were down a muddy, unlit footpath and consisted of a hole in the ground surrounded by corrugated iron for the men and a portacabin sawn in half for the women. Hmm

Best would be any with an indoor toilet and heating.

Henlie · 02/02/2020 14:48

Most of the weddings Ive been to have had a free bar (including ours)...... It wouldn’t sit right with me to invite people and then expect them to buy their own drinks. The key thing here is you are the host you need to feed and water your guests. I’m also not a fan of buffets at weddings as I think it interrupts the flow of the reception, but this a personal choice I know.

My worst wedding (as another PP has mentioned) was one where there was no table plan. Everyone could just sit where they like - utter chaos! Not enough chairs for everyone too 😏. There was also no drinks whatsoever provided and the food was a buffet, where they ran out of food before everyone had helped themselves. Most people had travelled quite a distance to attend this wedding, which was held in Cornwall, and I think it has been remembered for all the wrong reasons.

PlausibleSuit · 02/02/2020 14:54

Best: friend of mine crying tears of pure happiness because he got to marry his boyfriend. They never thought they'd be allowed. One of the most moving things I've ever seen.

Worst: waiting around while bride and groom posed for over three hours of formal photographs. Guests milling around aimlessly, not allowed inside the venue because the B&G were having literally hundreds of vanity shots done on 'gracious staircases' and next to 'priceless artworks'.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 02/02/2020 14:59

@PatellarTendonitis I didn't assume, I said 'I think', and I'm speaking from my own experience. I've been to weddings in the UK and US. I've never been to an Asian or Mediterranean wedding.

KatherineJaneway · 02/02/2020 15:06

At a posh wedding, we were on long tables all seated together. Waiters put down some chocolate dessert in front of us and one boat of cream between four guests. Before anyone had time to move this woman next to us swooped in, grabbed the cream and poured almost the entire boat over her dessert. Luckily for us others weren't so greedy so we managed to get enough cream for our deserts. Luckily I was young and far too shy to say anything, if she had behaved like that now I'd have ripped her a new one for her gluttony .

Patroclus · 02/02/2020 15:10

If you're that bothered about the lack of a free bar its you that has the problem.

Puffinhead · 02/02/2020 15:11

Best one I’ve been to is where the reception was held in the b&g back garden. They had a small registry office wedding with close family then invited people to their house in the afternoon. There was loads of tea and cake/scones that guests could help themselves to. Plus booze. Then later on they hired caterers who served delicious sausages/spuds/veg. It was a totally chilled out day.

ElderAve · 02/02/2020 15:20

Best was a very relaxed affair where almost everything was DIY and food and drink were served during he photographs.

Worst, most cringey moment was a groom who explained during his speech that they'd gone to the additional expense of providing cheap miniatures of perfume and aftershave as favours instead of the "usual horribly sugared almonds"

CadillacRanch · 02/02/2020 15:29

The best weddings I've been to are the ones where the family and friends are clearly such an integral part of the bride and groom's lives and as a result are really invested in them. This type of wedding means, in my experience, the speeches are brilliant, the dance floor is always full, everybody chats away to everyone and the atmosphere is just one of really good fun.

The worst one I've been to was where the bride's parents, plus many of her friends, clearly didn't agree with the marriage. His best man's speech was awful and so inappropriate for the type of woman she was and the family she had. Nobody really seemed to know anyone and the whole day was a bit awkward and disparate. It just went to show that no matter how many stops are pulled out, nothing can create genuine happiness.

Ninkanink · 02/02/2020 15:38

Really good food! I’ve only been to two weddings where I actually thought it was properly well done. Honestly the decorations/favours/overall theme or scheme are lovely for ambience but in the grand scheme of things neither here nor there in terms of happy/fun/meaningful memories. IMO food/drink is one of the most important aspects of a great wedding. I’d say save where you can on flowers/decor/favours and go for the best option of food and drink so that guests feel you have been hospitable and generous.

lyralalala · 02/02/2020 16:05

Best - One where the couple were so relaxed that everyone else was super relaxed. They had pizza delivered in the evening and the bride spent most of the evening on the dancefloor surrounded by kids and loved it

Best - One where the bride explained that it was tradition in her culture for the father of the bride to make quite a long speech. So, she'd chosen comfier chairs (which was true - comfiest dining chair I've sat on) and just before her father spoke she had cakes and wine/drinks top ups brought to each table

Worst - Tokened free bar. Everyone had 20 tokens each, which was more than enough. Three pregnant women on our table (soft drinks didn't need tokens). Two absolute arseholes hoovering up 'spare' tokens and gettting more and more drunk and obnoxious

Worst - Wedding in a 'beatiful woodland setting'. Ceremony was 'among the trees' - Standing in the woods watching the longest ceremony ever.
Reception was a 'short wander through the trees' - 15 minute hike on bark and uneven stone paths in heels. Followed by a 'relaxed and unrushed meal' - starter 6.15pm, main 7.30pm and dessert 8.30pm... With no open bar during the food service so only the bottle of wine (between 5) on the table available

lyralalala · 02/02/2020 16:09

The absolute worst wedding I've been too was ruined because of a guest though. A distant relative of the bride spent the whole evening reception bitching that she'd been "sent away after the ceremony" and had had to go to the pub for food. She went on, and on, and on, and on about two tier guest lists and manners

She wasn't actually invited to the church! The bride and groom invited only a few people to the day and then most to a party at night because they didn't have a huge amount of money. They were very open about being fine if people didn't want to come.

Said relative had asked if she could come to the church to watch the ceremony! The bride was very, very clear that they weren't inviting people to the church who weren't invited to the meal because she felt that was rude, but the church is public and anyone can go.

The relative bitched so much she made the bride cry and her husband sparked a physical fight with the groom when the groom asked her to leave.

ElderAve · 02/02/2020 16:13

The worst was mine actually. MIL refused to speak to me, even when I spoke directly to her in front of others, then she got the poor, unwitting, best man to announce that all their side of the family were invited back to her house after the meal. We had a relaxed wedding and what was supposed to happen was that everyone went back to my parents'

We stuck it our for a while but haven't seen them in nearly 20 years now.

Equimum · 02/02/2020 16:29

Worst wedding was at a venue. We had to hang around outside for ages before the ceremony. We then had two hours between the evening and the wedding breakfast, which was basically standing around outside again. The wedding was at 12, so we were starving when we were invited into the dining area. We were seated away from everyone we knew and at the last table to be served. The first few tables had finished eating their starters before ours arrived, and due to the poor service, we didn’t leave the dining area until after 5! We had young children with us, and it was basically a very long day with lots of hanging around.

Best wedding was church and onto a local hotel. Everything ran smoothly, there was very little waiting around, a choice of drinks etc.

leftovercoffeecake · 02/02/2020 16:32

Worst: The wedding breakfast was afternoon tea style. There were ten people per table and each table only got two afternoon tea stands, with hardly anything on it. I had two tiny sandwiches and a tiny cake. Meanwhile, on the head table, they were sharing one between two Hmm

Best: A different wedding. In the evening they had pizza ovens outside and you could have whatever pizza you wanted made. It was great!

Banana770 · 02/02/2020 16:32

Best - Generally the best weddings have been when the food is nice and when the couple are clearly relaxed and having fun. I’d never expect a free bar, but we’ve definitely let our hair down a bit more when the drinks aren’t hideously expensive, some hotels and venues are just extortionate!

Worst - Personally I hate it when there’s loads of waiting around for photos. I went to the wedding of friends from uni who are lovely and they had a late ceremony (3pm) then back at the venue had three hours of photos - it was at this beautiful country manor house and I think the photographer was a bit OTT, and I can imagine my friend being far too polite to say anything too. We ended up not having starters until 7pm (meant to be 5!) and the evening reception didn’t start until 9, they had their first dance at 9:30. Party was just getting going when it ended!

Nonnymum · 02/02/2020 16:37

Worst- expecting guests to pay for alcohol/soft drinks. Don't invite guests if you can't afford to provide for them.
It's very normal where I'm from to expect guests to pay for drinks apart from perhaps a welcome drink, the toast, and some wine with diner. Other drinks you have to pay for. An open bar is very unusual and I don't think I would like that either.

Nannewnannew · 02/02/2020 16:43

Worst wedding was when the bride and groom both got hammered and ended up arguing. 😳
Next worse one, the reception was held at an hotel and we were stood in a sort of a bar area with no seats or tables for 2.5 hours and then once we were allowed into the dining area we had to wait for all the speeches before food was served at 6pm. The wedding was at 12noon so no time for lunch. Everyone was ravenous!
BEST wedding was held in a village hall and the couple had done their own buffet catering, it was a lovely relaxed affair, probably the cheapest one I have attended but certainly the most enjoyable.