What are the best/worst things you've experienced at a wedding?

[Turniptracker]

Just started planning a wedding and it got me thinking about the best and worst things about weddings I've attended in the past. The worst was a wedding where we kept getting moved from room to room for each stage of the wedding, we were kicked off the dining tables after our last mouthful of dessert and had to stand up in a cold stable with no chairs to juggle coffee and chocs (hello indigestion). Best by far, but for all the wrong reasons, was watching a groomsman rip his trousers through vigorous dancing and he was so drunk he proceeded to just rip all his clothes off and dance in his pants
Any "best things" for good reasons also welcome!

Worst- expecting guests to pay for alcohol/soft drinks. Don't invite guests if you can't afford to provide for them.

It's very normal where I'm from to expect guests to pay for drinks apart from perhaps a welcome drink, the toast, and some wine with diner. Other drinks you have to pay for. An open bar is very unusual and I don't think I would like that either.

I’m from the UK, and most of the weddings I’ve attended have been an open bar. I’ve also been to weddings in Sweden and Canada and they were both open bar too. If anything in my experience it’s unusual to have guests paying for drinks.

These posters who say an open bar is a "must" - have you any notion of how much that might cost? It would dwarf all the other wedding costs; imagine if people were ordering non-stop whiskeys or other spirits? Providing wine etc with the meal and pre-arrival drinks and champagne toast is expected, but to supply unlimited alcohol of the guests' choice for hours on end - even Elton John would be hard pressed to finance that!

There will always be complainers. At my wedding I was very hurt at some elderly aunts (only invited at dm's insistence) whingeing that there was too much food, they wanted something different, etc etc. I have witnessed this at other weddings, too. Just rude people picking holes, not about major issues, but mealy-mouthed observations.

Best wedding was dn where I didn't hear a single moaning minnie, only warm-hearted enthusiasm for the couple and the wedding.

Best - party in grooms mothers garden. No photos, random photographer taking pics all day, wine, champagne, beer endless. Port on tables. Loads of food. Very informal. Dance offs.
Worst - very formal, endless speeches and massive waiting between arriving at reception and dinner, nothing to nibble on. Everyone banjaxed by dinner.

I've been to weddings where all alcohol is provided but they've always been marquee type affairs.

Anything in a venue/hotel has had drinks after the ceremony (bucks fizz/pimms etc), wine on the tables (half a bottle per person) and champagne for toasts, anything else was extra although often there is some money behind the bar. I've rarely had to buy any additional drinks despite there not being a free bar.

I've been to some events with free bars, people take the piss tbh, and abandon drinks all over the shop. I don't blame anyone wanting to avoid that.

When we got married, we told the guests beforehand that there was a free Buffett but they had to buy their own drinks and people were happy with that

Worst: there's been a couple but the incredibly long ones with lots of waiting mean that unless I have to I try not to go to all day ones. Also two stick out - I'm vegetarian - not overly fussy - one had only sausage sandwiches at the reception - nothing at all else other than a tiny piece of cake. My friend who was with us is coeliac and there was absolutely nothing she could have - completely thoughtless and the hotel just shrugged. We all left early to get something on the way back. Another one was a hog roast that ran out anyway - but there was no alternative - I could have a bread roll and that was it. You would think the hotel or the caterers would remind people that they need to check 🤷‍♀️ at my own wedding which was a tiny affair I went to the manager on the night and pointed out my two veggies and GF and he went over to tell them what he could make them.

Best: takeaway pizza at a church hall with a cheap as chips bar.

My dd gets married this year and I'm reading all this and panicking a little My dd isn't even engaged, and I'm making notes!

Worst

• having to listen to long, boring and cringeworthy poems written by B&G which had us sitting there trying to stifle either yawns or the giggles (possibly at the same time).
• standing around for hours while photos were taken.

Best - Register office, then back to family garden with a marquee, a never-ending barbecue and a shedload of champagne.

Biggest tip I can offer is this: if you really must have gazillions of photos taken then please provide your guests with afternoon tea - gallons of tea, much cake, Pimms, AND SOMEWHERE TO SIT DOWN.

Worst - I went to my ex' cousin's wedding. Had never met most of his family before so was quite nervous, but it was a fantastic day. Until we arrived back at the venue for the evening disco. The groom was extremely pissed, staggered over while I was chatting to his new FIL, grabbed me and tried to snog me! I was absolutely mortified, everyone sort of laughed it off and joked about how drunk he was, but his FIL, MIL and new bride did not look impressed at all! They newlyweds divorced 12 months later, as soon as they were legally allowed to. I wonder why...

Then there was the to e my uncle punches a guy for dancing with his girlfriend. He then offered to fight everyone else in there in the car park, before he was bundled out, still yelling.

We got married abroad and the least we could do for the people who travelled was to ply them with free booze all day. It's not a standard thing though. I would never expect someone to add another £10k onto their wedding Bill to provide free drinks. If there's someone who feels entitled to that sort of thing I would seriously consider inviting them. Will also ask Mumsnet HQ if there is a silence option for posters not on this planet.

My top tips are these:
Don't leave folk waiting about starving and drinking.
If someone is painfully shy, don't force them into making a speech, it's excruciating to watch and for them
Feed people before the speeches, nothing worse than standing up to speak knowing everyone is thinking 'hurry up I'm bloody famished'
Keep the speeches short.

The worst was my cousins - dull affair lots of waiting about and hardly any food! Also another bad one was the bride serenading the groom as a surprise - I've never wanted to die of embarrassment like I did at that wedding. She had this intense look on her face it was just beyond cringe and everyone looked like they were about to laugh or be sick.

Worst - having to listen to a nephew (or some such) of the B&G playing some brass instrument or other, he was about 12 and trembling with nerves as he parped and farted his way through it. At another wedding, several wedding guests had been asked to sing during the ceremony, it was vaguely operatic, and vague was their attempt at it. Unfortunately, they then decided to regale us with it all over again during the speeches. I was sorely tempted to use the sugared almonds as ear plugs

Best - Vintage double-decker bus took B&G and all the guests from the reg office to the reception at the hotel, all through the middle of the town centre shopping crowds, they all waved and clapped as we went past (we all threw confetti out of the bus windows).

I have only been to one “open bar” wedding - it was a barn wedding where they bulk-bought a load of stuff in and served it that way - no fucking way would I expect my drinks to be paid for all night, it would cost thousands! First drink/drink on arrival; and wine on the table, with bubbly for the toasts. Expecting any more than that is cheeky fuckery, in my opinion.

Agree the “worst” weddings always centre around poor food/drink planning - buffets that run out, or Long periods of time without being able to get another drink. I have to say I often don’t mind if there’s a period of time waiting for photos etc as it means I can have a good chat/catch up with friends - as long as there’s an opportunity to grab a drink!!! I went to a wedding where ALL the bridesmaids did a speech, and it was so full of in jokes and giggling that it honestly had a hint of “we are all more special to the bride than you”; which obviously alienated most of the room and left us all a bit “WTF?!” So making your guests feel valued and welcome is #1.

Best weddings are where I can stay on site without it costing the Earth; it’s nice being able to stagger up to the room rather than have to wait in the dark and cold for a taxi to come out to the middle of nowhere. (Memories of the bastard taxi service deciding not to come and get us once as they deemed it not worth their time...)

I do love a good wedding though, everyone’s so happy and loved up. I love my friends and love to see them take a big next step in their lives. I don’t understand people who slate them on here or say “no one but the bride and groom cares”... I’m often left wondering why they even go when they don’t appear to like the couple very much...

Best:- Providing a map of the venue/parking in the invite etc if its a rural location
- If there is a discount for guests at the XYZ hotel nearby, include this info in the invite, along with a few other nearby hotel suggestions
- Our venue wouldnt allow confetti, rice or even rose petals! Again, make it clear on the invite, but we added 'bubbles will be provided' (and handed these out at the church door)
- Plenty of tasty food. Our venue offered alternate drop, so if people really don't like their meal, they can usually swap with someone sitting next to them
- Within our invite, we were sent a triangle of plain bunting, and told to sew, glue, write something special on it and to send it back in the pre-paid envelope by X date prior to the wedding. On the actual wedding day, the marquee had the completed bunting hanging all around. A bit different to a guest book and really unique.
- Check whether the photographer will give you the SD card so you can print as many pics as you like, OR, if you can only use their website to each print at an inflated price. Our photographer gave us the SD card, so I printed out many pics of the day. For each guest, I included at least 1 photo of them in the thankyou cards.
- A bus being provided from the nearest main town to the venue and back
- 1 wedding had a quiz and the winning table won a prize. Great to get people talking and working together. Fun too. The questions related to unusual wedding traditions from around the world, and phones couldn't be used for answers.

Worst: - A canape only wedding where we were left starving, and had to get take-away en-route home!
- The same venue only had enough seating for 1/2 the guests. The outdoor tables/chairs were wet from heavy rain and the staff wouldn't dry them or bring any inside, despite me being unable to stand for long periods due to an injury at the time!
- Being served food where part was cold, raw and/or undercooked!
- A barn wedding where the port-a-loos required a walk through a muddy cow field, and the toilet had no lighting!

DH is rather posh and his friends are posher so good weddings include: Exclusive use of stately home (friends of b&g) +/- marquee and endless magnums of champagne.

Other end of the scale one of my friends from university very WC background married in first year after graduating. Both wedding and reception in the church they attended regularly. Catered by friends (bring a dish) wine by Calias booze cruise. Is was the year 2000 but she told me it cost them £200 in total, it was lovely, the food was great. They had decorated the church them selves.

Worst weddings are too trendy or too pretentious. DH and I must have attended over 50 weddings the vast majority were wonderful.

Best - when the ceremony is short and fun and there are canapés and alcohol straight after

Worst - long ceremonies, hours waiting for anything to eat or drink. One had no food or drink (not even water) after the ceremony and nowhere to sit for 2 hours. Basically being hungry and uncomfortable if you're in heels

Best thing at ca wedding is a ceilidh, it includes everyone of all ages, and it’s fun.
The only thing I hadn’t liked at a wedding was waiting for about 90 minutes while pictures were taken.

Worst: I really really hate to say but at my best friend's lunchtime wedding she was on a tight budget so we had to wait ages with no canapés while photos were done then we were served a cream tea - two scones each. My friend loves cream teas so I understand why she chose that but some more food would have been good.
A few hours later there was the evening buffet which was sandwiches & crisps but it didn't matter we were starving.
At 1am I had to help my friend in her wedding dress vacuum & clean up the venue after the party as she couldn't afford to pay for it to be cleaned! It was a shame because it meant she couldn't relax.

My other best friends sister got married & again it was a lunchtime wedding with no canapés during photos.
I'd learnt by then & had chocolate in my handbag which I shared with the bridesmaids!

At one cousins wedding I got incredibly drunk as it was also my 21st & my cousins kept buying me drinks.
I spent part of the night crying drunkenly on my aunties shoulder which must've been a real nuisance for her & I still feel guilty now!

I went to a colleagues wedding; was on medication so couldn't drink, barely knew anyone & had zero confidence so one of the male guests decided to drunkenly ask me 'why I was so quiet'. I was so relieved when some other colleagues arrived for the evening do!

Best: Also at my best friends wedding- she broke the tradition & made the only speech which was lovely & it was clear throughout the day how much she & her husband loved each other. She also wore a dark red dress which looked great.

At the cousins wedding on my 21st the band were amazing; they were buskers that my cousin knew & sounded like the Levellers; everyone was up dancing.
Also my cousins friends all turned up in their biker or New Age traveller gear & the bride wore a long silver velvet dress.

At another cousins wedding the reception was in a marquee & her mother did the buffet; she's French Algerian so the food reflected her culture & was delicious.
Again everyone was up dancing all night.

There's another colleagues wedding coming up - I've been invited with a plus one to the whole day as have all my other colleagues.
I want to go to the registry office to see her get married but not to the rest of it for several reasons....
First I don't have a plus one & she has a close cousin who's made it clear he fancies me but I don't like him so I will have to avoid him all day...
Second her family are actually a nightmare & going by the scary atmosphere at the engagement party I wouldn't be surprised if there's one or more fights by the evening. I feel for her but I don't want to be there.
The reception & evening do will be in the same social club venue as the engagement party was.
There were signs on the toilet doors saying 'only one guest is allowed in the toilet at a time due to drug taking on the premises'.

The only security was a little old man taking tickets & it's not a safe area for leaving parked cars.
Trying to think of an excuse for just seeing the ceremony...

Another thing as I know speeches can drag on, we didn't do any at ours, just said thank you to everyone that came and hope they enjoy themselves

Best - a crèche for the kids, they had a blast, lots of arts and crafts like decorating tshirts etc.
A small pub wedding, intimate, gorgeous food, not loads of pomp.

Worst - overkill with the photography, one wedding I attended there were two photographers all day and night and everything was staged for the photos, it was more of a photo shoot of a wedding than a wedding that was been captured by a photographer.

The less things are done for show, the more enjoyable the day on my experience.

Worst:best man’s speech referred to Various slightly unsavoury student antics. Horrified the bride’s mother, caused bride to cry and bride’s dad had to stop him.

Best: (unexpectedly) best man started his speech with an electric guitar and said he’d written a song. Inward, silent groans from guests. Turns out he’s a very talented sing writer and guitarist. Very funny, self deprecating blues song, that scanned properly.

The worst ones are when there has been little thought for guests' comfort. Like the one in a marquee in a field that had no flooring put down - just a big tarp laid over the uncut grass, which did nothing but hide all the hollows and mole hills. I twisted my ankle on the way in and ended up limping all evening.

Another one was on a blistering hot day, the venue was too small for the number of guests so we were packed in like sardines with no air-con or ventilation, then got herded out into the garden for photos...and there was no shade or anywhere to sit.

Best was SIL's wedding. Really small - only about 18 of us who all knew each other, in a private room in a nice pub. Food was delicious and plentiful, there were lots of toys/colouring/puzzles etc for the children, and because we were so few, we all sat at one big table and chatted happily. No evening do, just back to our hotel for hot chocolate and a film.

Worst : the wedding took place in a rural location , where there was only a couple of rooms to stay in , which family were booked into . So we had to book another local hotel but was still miles away , we were so bored as it was a bit too posh for us roughies , the taxi we booked couldn’t come any earlier . A very dull day and evening with no chance of an early escape .

Oh god I went to one where the bride and groom were actually a very quiet, quite shy couple but they’d gone ALL OUT for the wedding. They had a team of photographers and videographers who were able to completely dominate the day. Everything was orchestrated by this team to get the photos they wanted. There was no joy or spontaneity to anything. When it was deemed time to get the cutting the cake photo the cake was wheeled out into a picturesque spot, the lights were set up, test shots were taken. Then the B&G were ushered into place and more set up went on. Then the directed cutting. Most of the guests missed it! It was only about getting the photos and nothing else. It was exactly like being at a photo shoot of a wedding rather than an actual wedding.

The worst weddings are the ones where the guests are mean. You can laugh about fights, bad speeches, bad food, cringey wedding vows, inclement weather etc etc, but makes for a sour atmosphere if guests are whingeing about their "comfort" (unless it's extreme discomfort), the food, etc etc.

Of the weddings i've been to, I'd say about 50% were good, and 50% not so much. Analysing it, I think that a generally joyous atmosphere, no matter what the expense or what things didn't go to plan made the nice weddings successful.