What's the solution here?

[poodlepoo9999]

Me, dp and my ds currently live in my house. Dp has 2 children (18 and 22) with his exw. Exw is moving abroad in a couple of months so dp's children will need to live with us.
My house is a 2 bed so not big enough. I put it on the market 10 months ago so we could buy somewhere bigger but it still hasn't sold. We've reduced the price and changed agents but still nothing. It's had a new bathroom and kitchen.
Now we're running out of time. Exw will go and the kids will have nowhere to live.

What would you do? The 22 year old has a full time job and long term gf but still wants to live with us so won't consider renting or buying with his gf.

Any ideas that spring to mind?

They're adults not kids so they need to rent somewhere themselves

The 22 year old gets a place on their own.

How old is your DS? Can he go back in with you until the 18 year old gets sorted?

The 18 year old is now finishing a levels so won't have an income.
How do we convince the 22 year old to rent without him feeling like we're pushing him away?

Basically, if the 18 year old is still in full time education I would accommodate them. Not the 22 year old- if working full time and in good health.

My ds is 10. My room isn't big enough for another bed.

Are they both boys or boy/girl? If both boys they can share. If not, 22 yo can sleep on sofa... (could you get a quick click clack sofa bed) ... not ideal but might nudge him into looking for somewhere else. As he’s 22 and earning I don’t think you should be upending everything or taking a hit on sale price to give him a separate bedroom.

But how do we accommodate the 18 year old if there's no bedroom for them? That's what I need the answer to. I need to win the lottery!

Ah sorry ignore me, I missed that you also have a DS!

10 year old is a boy as is the 22 year old. 18 year old is a girl.
I live in a 2 bed mid terrace so pretty small.

Is one of the bedrooms big enough to be partitioned into two?

Sadly not.

They get a flat nearby, together?

Your DP and his ex pay half the rent on behalf of the 18 year old.

Surely exw has realised she is making her children homeless by doing this?

Could any maintenance that you would have paid go towards helping them rent a 2 bed flat near to you for 6/12 months until your house sells?

18yo sleeps on sofa until you manage to move. 22yo there is simply no room for. If you buy a big enough house you can tell him he can move back if he wants to then (with any luck he might not want to - especially if you make it clear he will be paying you rent, as he is earning). In the meantime, he rents somewhere, or moves in with his gf (and her family if she is still at home too). There is simply no other option available.

Is ex selling her property?

We could put the maintenance towards rent but I think you have to rent for a minimum if 6 months. If we sold ours then we couldn't pay their rent and our new mortgage. The 22 year old says he couldn't afford to pay his share of the rent and bills either so we'd have to pay some of his too. He wants to save for a house deposit and he has a typical teenage car that he likes paying for bits for

22 year old doesn’t get to just decide they want to live in your house. You will be spending an enormous amount of your own money to accommodate another adult who has their own money.

Why are boys so lacking in independence? I couldn’t think of anything worse than living at home with my parents after the age of 18.

Why r u the one scrambling for a solution? Surely its down to your DP and exw to sort out? What's dps solution?

22 year old might want to move in, but surely they can see that 5 people can't fit into this 2 bedroom house ? I'd suggest a family discussion where you speak frankly about the options available. It's not y,our job to make everyone happy - these adult " children" need to understand. That what they want is not feasible.

The 22 year old says he couldn't afford to pay his share of the rent and bills either so we'd have to pay some of his too. He wants to save for a house deposit and he has a typical teenage car that he likes paying for bits for

He sounds very entitled ! Can't afford to pay his share, but wants to save for a house ( with you paying all his living expenses ! )

How is their mother contributing to all this?

Try asking the 22 year old where he thinks he should sleep in your house?

Their mother says she's done parenting and it's her time to have a life.

Do you have a dining room? Probably a stupid question! Most (not all) mid terraces I've come across have two reception rooms.

Funnily enough, a friend of mine lives in a two bed mid terrace with three children. The kids all share a bedroom to sleep and the eldest has the dining room as his "space".

I don't see how a 22 year old working adult gets to demand that you house him, so he can afford to buy car parts. It's his mother that's making him homeless, not you! He's got a job, so he's just going to have to get a room in a shared house or find a flat to rent with his sibling that you could subsidise. Yes the contract would be six months, but you haven't even had any interest in your house yet so the whole process could easily take longer than that.

I've known plenty of terraces with only one reception room, they're the exception rather than the rule in my experience.

The 22 YO needs to rent a room in a shared house, there's no other solution unfortunately.

Is the 18 YO coming up to their A levels this May/June time? Awful timing on her DMs part to be buggering off abroad - does she have to go right now? What are the 18 YOs plans after A levels? University will solve the issue for some of the year, but obviously not until October this year and then the holidays need planning for.

Only other solution might be for the OP to rent their house out, rent a 3 bed and the 22 and 18 YO will have to share a bedroom unless they find one with a dining room that can be used as a bedroom or afford to rent a 4 bed.