Busy 6.45am-9.30pm?? Am I adulting wrong?

[GotAnyGrapes17]

Evening,

Guess I'm looking for tips or just to know it's not me.
It's dawned on me today that I am literally "busy" from the moment I get up to when I go to bed. I don't watch TV until we go to bed when I fall asleep in front of it.
I work 8.45-5pm and have one DD who is 10.
It seems a never ending cycle of cooking, cleaning, washing, bag packing and tidying up again.
Disclaimer- I don't have a dish washer and I won't do frozen/convenience food. I do try to to batch cook, and two evenings a week involve clubs/tutor.

Any tips?

Difficult to say.

DH, DS1 (7), DS2 (3) and me. We are awake at 6:45 to leave the house for 8. We both work FT. I do finish fairly promptly at 5 and am home at 6 when DSs are dropped home. Chaos until 8 when they’re both in bed. If DH is home then I’ll do a chore like putting laundry away whilst DSs are in the bath. If DH isn’t then DS1 is helpful enough to wash himself etc.

DH and I then eat so I think I’m done by about 9.

But I don’t think it’s ridiculous. I do have all the household gadgets and a cleaner. If I didn’t then yes, I would be flat out like you.

@DelurkingAJ, thanks- sounds pretty similar as you have two. I'm not sure a cleaner would help. I never seem to do a big clean. I tend to do things as I'm going along, and will clean bathroom whilst running a bathroom for DD etc. I think it's just life to be fair 🤷‍♀️. I'm posting now as have a bit of time whilst DD bath is running, but mainly because I was still at it until 10.30 last night with washing etc so am slightly ahead. It just feels a bit relentless. Have no idea how large families do it

I’m never busy, I couldn’t live being ‘on’ from soooo early in the morning (middle of the night) till night time again, I’m Childfree, which helps hugely, and work 2 days a week. 1 load of washing a week, husband cooks, clean stuff whenever it’s needed, that’s all really.

I’m not a busy person!
On a non exercise day (today), I got out of bed at 7:30, woke up the dc. 2 are teens who get themselves sorted and out the door with nothing needed from me other than a kiss. The other one I make breakfast for and while that’s cooking I do his packed lunch. While he eats, i unload the dishwasher and fold some washing.
Then when he’s done, we both go upstairs and get sorted. Takes me less than 10 minutes to get dressed, Face washes, teeth and hair sorted, maybe a quick swipe of foundation if I look rough.
I work short hours which is crucial to not being busy!
I’m home by 3:30 with ds.
We chill out, the teens arrive home.
I’ll put on a load of washing, maybe have a tidy up if anything is messy.
Dh comes home by 5ish and takes care of dinner.
At 6 this evening I was in the bath for an hour and a half.
I’ve just sorted the washing and put it away. Teens do their own washing.
Delegation, short hours, a cleaner, food shopping delivery twice a week and a dh who no longer works crazy long hours and actually loves cooking are my top tips to success!
Basically I subby out anything I don’t want to do

I didn’t think a cleaner would help. But she really does. Once a week for three hours. Experienced so I largely leave her to it. Afte the 2/3 week of her coming I have seen the biggest difference. I tidy before she comes so I’m now more on top of that. Plus is theee hours a week I get back. If you can afford it, even once every 2 weeks i recommend giving it a go. Not all frozen food is bad. Maybe your standards are v high (no bad thing)
Also could your DD start to do a few chores
Slow cooker can also be very helpful. It’s even possible to do jacket potato’s in it. Cuts down in kitchen time

Chores Dd could do - put her washing away - mine have a basket w their clothes in they are responsible to put away. I started them off on socks and pants only. Folding towels and face cloths. Washing up or putting away/drying washed plates and pots.
Hovering also possible at 10

To be honest it sounds a lot given you only have one child of 10. What do you do in the 2 hours before you start work? Why isn't DD running her own bath? What chores does she do? Do you have a partner? What do they do?

What about your partner, if you have one? What does s/he do?

I'm a single parent (kids are a toddler and a 9 year old) and I find the days pretty busy with bags, lunches, washing, tidying etc. But I'm normally relaxing by around 8pm.

Example day, if it helps...

6:30 up - kids still asleep. Make coffee, put lunches in their bags, shower, make up, wake up eldest, make their breakfast, do eldest's hair, wake up youngest and dress him etc. They eat, I load up the car.
8ish - leave, drop younger one to childminder and other one to school. Drive back in opposite direction for work.
8:45 - 4:30 work
4:30 - leave to pick up kids
5:15/5:30 - Home, do kids' dinner, something easy and quick normally, get changed, sort out their clothes for next day, do their lunches and put in fridge, wash up, do a wash load and put away yesterday's washing, tidy up. Youngest in pyjamas, bath if needed. Homework with eldest. Glass of wine somewhere in amongst that.
7ish - take younger one up for teeth brushing and stories, and then bed
7:20 - offer older one snack, do her a hot water bottle and leave her to chill out until 8 whilst I make my dinner. While it cooks I either sit with my iPad and some wine, or do some yoga.
8ish - eldest to bed

My tidying up is always basic during the week.
My house isn't spotless.

Sorry, realised that's a bit question-y!
I have 3 kids, youngest is 9 and mine all have to pitch in around the house.

Thanks for all your replies. I feel bad making DD do extra jobs during the week! She's at school 8.15 until 5.30 and then has an hours homework a night, then she sorts her snack for the next day, bath/wash, 1/2 hour of chill time and off to bed. You all sound like you are doing what I'm doing but in much less hours....
PS when I say no frozen food I mean frozen pizza, chicken nuggets etc.

So pleased to see this thread! Not pleased for you being busy OP but because I can really relate. I have no idea how people who sit down all evening do it. It’s nearly 10pm and I’m about to put on a load of laundry. After that realistically by the time I am ready for bed etc it will be nearly half past ten. I have been wanting to watch something on telly for weeks. Never get time to sit and watch it.

An hours homework a night at age 10?! Wow. That seems a lot. What is she doing at school till 5:30, could she do at least some of her homework there?

I think you are spending too long asleep, on your stats it’s 9 hrs plus which is a very large chunk of your day, A couple of hours less in bed would be instant free time.
I’m also not sure what you are doing that takes you all that time. My last dc has just left home but I am out of the house from 7:10 to between 5:30 and 7:30pm, I still have loads of time for hobbies, marking books etc etc. I wouldn’t buy a ready meal if it hit me on the face.

Looking at it what takes 2 hours in the morning and 4 hours in the evening ? We cook from scratch but do have many time savers ie slow cooker takes 15 mins tops to sort in the morning or the dry fry which cooks a great mini roast in 30 mins. Laundry is put on when son is in bathroom in the morning and load from dryer folded while he eats breakfast if homework needs doing it's done while we are pottering . My morning starts at 7.45 to be at work and school for 9am and generally my evening if we muck in together ( hes 8 ) is done within a hr and half from when I finish if a early day ie by 6 . If I'm on a late finish dinner and basics will already be done so only a 30 min whip round

@WoollyFoolly homework club runs from 3.45 to 4.30 and then it's wraparound. Although she has signed herself to various clubs instead of going to homework club 🙄 she is expected to do 40mins of homework and then times tables and spellings.

@Rosieposy4 that's kind of why I'm posting this! I don't know. I do know that I wake up tired every morning- I don't feel like I could do 2 hours less sleep!!

Why would you run a bath for a 10 year old - they should run their own or take a shower. What is your DH doing ?

Okay I'll lay it out. See where I'm going wrong!

6.30 Alarm
6.45- Get up- make tea.
7.00 DD up
7.10 Make and eat breakfast, take washing off dryer, hang washing out, put washing on.
7.30-shower, get ready, DD gets ready. Make beds.
8.00 back downstairs- pack last few bits, do make up. Quick tidy of breakfast stuff.
8.15 Leave for school work.
5.30 get in. Wash up breakfast stuff. Pack bags for next day. Set DD up with homework.
6-7. Cook dinner, help with homework, do a load of washing, put out to dry, fold away, some admin, pay bills etc.
7-7.30pm Eat dinner.
7.30-8 Bath, put washing away. I get washed and changed ready for bed.
8.30 DD watches 1/2 hour TV, plays on lap top etc. I wash up from dinner.
9pm clean teeth, in bed. Quick chat in bed.
9.15 DD goes to bed.
I do final tidy, pack lunch (left over dinner has cooled) final check to make sure bags are all packed and ready for the next day. In bed for just before 10 so then half hour or so to chill before I fall asleep.

@Parker231 we only have a bath. She does sometimes- I basically turn the taps on.

I don't have a DH!! 😂

Forgot to say, after DD goes to bed I lay clothes out for the next day

You do a lot of washing.

Do you do a load of laundry every day or is that sometimes vacuum/other jobs

Ok, so DD doesn't do anything during the week other than homework? What about packing her own bag?
As an example my 9 year old packs her bag/sports kit etc every day herself. I cook so the children take it in turns to do the dishwasher every day (or washing up in your example). I (or DH) mostly put the washing on, but we all take it in turns to get it out, fold it, take upstairs and distribute it for putting away and everyone puts their own away.
We all live in the house and contribute to the washing pile/cooking need so we all help sort it out.
Your morning doesn't look too bad to me but I would have said you were busy from 6:45, getting up before kids and having a cup of tea counts as peaceful me-time in this house!

Hold on, there's only 2 of you and you are doing 2 loads of washing a day? What on earth are you washing?

Why are you doing so much laundry?

Get a dishwasher and a cleaner. Automate all your bills. Batch cook in portions. Stop being a snob about quick food - you can have baked potatoes or pasta a couple of nights a week without stooping to the horror of chicken nuggets

And your daughter goes to bed very late for a 10 year old. I'd put her to bed at 8 and then you wouldn't feel like you're either mothering or working.