Looking for ideas to enjoy life without friends

[Lookingforideas7]

Has anyone else found they have been rejected in every walk of life by friends? Sometimes I feel sad about it. It must be me of course as I am common denominator. I think I must just be a bit annoying. I think I need to find other things in life I can enjoy without friends. And try to just enjoy my own company as much as possible. As I can’t handle any more rejection. I love to draw and paint. Maybe I should start doing that again. What other things could be enjoyable on my own? I have never done much reading, but if anyone can recommended easy reading uplifting novels? I think I am just posting in the hope of someone replying to say hi really .

I'm a bit of a loner, I don't know why but I don't really engage more than being friendly.
I love relaxing activities like knitting, walking the dog etc. I'd definitely start painting and drawing if you love doing it.

Thank you for replying! I wonder if it is better to just embrace life without many friends as I am 40 now and I feel it has been something I have failed with so often it just upsets me now. I feel it is unlikely to change. I have one friend from uni I keep in touch with and I have my sister. So perhaps that is all I need really.
I started to try and teach myself crocheting. But it’s quite difficult I got a few rows working. So maybe I can persevere with that too.

I love going to the cinema on my own.
Going for long walks whilst listening to podcasts on topics I’m interested in (real life crime, health and fitness, food, celebrity gossip etc) and also doing home work outs on YouTube (Cat Meffan Yoga is good).
You could write a list of 100 films/box sets you want to watch on Netflix and work your way through them too.
Do you have a garden you could do some gardening in?
Pinterest is great for arts and crafts ideas to do on your own at home.

48 here. Been totally friendless for over 4 years.
Walking my ddogs is my go to hobby.
No regrets. Better no friends than rubbish ones ime.
Nice to chat to fellow ddog walkers sometimes but that's enough!.

Also have you ever thought of having a penpal? There are a few websites online where you can sign up and start writing to someone either in the UK or a different country.

I am very lucky and have found some wonderful friends in my sixties. Before this I was controlled, so crochet, reading, dog walking, sketching. I still appreciate my alone time.

As for Crochet, Attic 24 and Bella Coco are good!

Yes I do gardening in the summer thanks. I would like to be better at it though as I just cut the lawn really and do the weeds. Maybe podcasts would help with learning more in that. I had a Pinterest account ages ago so will try and dig it out. My children are getting to an age where if I say I have met a friend for coffee they get all excited and pleased for me , it’s like the notice I haven’t many friends which I feel bad, I don’t want to worry them. I thought maybe if I have a few activities I do instead so I seem more interesting. Otherwise they will just grow up seeing me as someone who makes their dinner pottles around the house !

I'm sorry you've had some shitty experiences op 😢💐

There's so much I do alone - in fact I do most things alone. I find having to consider others a bit of a strain (lol!). Maybe I'm just naturally selfish.. but people being too cold/hot/tired etc is just boring when I want to enjoy what we're doing. Plus I'm not very good at being ready when demanded, that's also a bit of a strain.

Id say do what you like doing. Just do it and enjoy it without having to put up with someone else

I'm not sure I'm helping here! My motto is to enjoy myself and I can't be waiting around for others.

Thank you, I am making a list in my notes here

Go to some knitting/crochet groups. I go to one and it's one of the highlights of my week. If you work there are often groups on Saturday mornings.

I am similar in that I have few friends and none of them really seem to ‘get’ me. Maybe I’m just odd! And having moved around the country a lot I’ve never maintained any long distance friendships for long, no friends from schooldays. Anyway, I exercise a lot, love going for a run on my own and swimming is a solitary world anyway (if you’re doing it correctly ) I also enjoy reading, got a big new stack of books at Christmas which will keep me going for a while. Solo travel, cinema, walks, all lovely on your own.

I have a lot of aquaintances ie fellow hobby group members. We care for one another but rarely see one another outside of the group.

Isn’t it worth also investigating why you’ve had such consistently negative experiences with forming friendships before you write it all off entirely, OP? I mean, beyond just thinking you must be ‘annoying’?

I don't really have friends, but I do enjoy meeting people and doing things in a group. I just don't have any expectations of becoming more than an acquaintance with anyone. Most people are happy to chat whilst at a specific activity, which helps with the loneliness.

I have joined a choir which is brilliant. I would second other PPs about joining a knitting/crochet group. If you enjoy painting, how about joining an art class, or see if there are any painting groups local to you. If you want to get into reading, the local library may have a book club you could join.

I have an allotment which is quite social - particularly in the spring/summer months - lots of chatting with the other plot holders and it's lovely to be outside lots. I knew nothing about growing veg and I can only spare 3 hours a week but manage fine. Kids love it too!

You see I live in the town I grew up in (although I did leave for uni) and I find it quite embarrassing that people must think it odd I have so few friends. You would think I would have kept in touch with some more people over the years. I do have the odd aquaintance I meet with from when I worked, but it is generally me texting them. And it’s so rare I see them. I often wish I lived somewhere else then I would have an excuse for not having friends! I do actually seem to gel a little better I think with the non locals, people who have moved to the area and often aren’t even English speaking. But although I chat with them, I haven’t made any real friends there particularly. Right, long walks, podcasts, yoga, drawing

not everything you choose to do has to be solitary though, it sounds like you are quite proactive, you can join classes like the crochet groups suggested, exercise classes, be around other people with the expectation that you're not there to make friends, you might build up a bigger circle of aquaintances to have the odd coffee with but if you dont , who cares, so long as you are happy, look into what local resources you have like librarys they often have fliers for things going on in the area, or maybe you can volunteer

I’m sorry to hear this op.
I’m not really interested in having friends and I only work a few hours a week, so have lots of time to entertain myself, so I:

Knit baby clothes for charity,
Cross stitch,
Jigsaws (I love Wentworth wooden puzzles),
Genealogy - this has occupied a huge amount of time (years - and still ongoing) and I have thoroughly enjoyed creating my family tree - and I have had lots of surprise revelations,
Lots of online courses (try Coursera or futurelearn) - fabulous, usually free resources and how much you participate is up to you. I’ve probably done about a dozen. Each course lasts for a few weeks,
Walking (although I don’t like this so much 😀),
Yoga, swimming, exercise classes,
I have an interest in ancient Egypt, so did an evening course at local college - that was excellent.
Reading - my favourite thing. Totally took me by surprise, but I adored the Harry Potter books (I’d previously dismissed them as for children).

The painting and drawing sounds great - my BIL attended local watercolour classes and thoroughly enjoyed it.
There are lots of things out there. Do some research and don’t dismiss things immediately - give them a try.

Hi, if you are interested in running or jogging then you could look for a group to go along to (one that is open to run/walk if that is your level of fitness/ maybe a women's group if you like). I have found runners are generally positive and supportive people but it is also OK to be quiet and lots of runners seem to be happy with solitude too in my opinion. Attending a group over time would give you a structured way into friendships/running buddies and exercise is great for your mental health.

Does your town begin with H op? Is here a beach?

Thank you imperial measurements that’s a great list. I think I need to change my mind set to doing things for myself rather than looking for friends as that is where I am ending up feeling like a failure. I would love to do a bit of charity work but not really sure what. One of the mums from school has done home start but I sense I wouldn’t be that good at that as I seem to not be much of a people person so I am not sure I would give the right kind of support. I do like young children and they seem to quite like me actually. I often feel like I am a child in a grown up world myself and I find chatting and playing with children quite easy.

You see I live in the town I grew up in (although I did leave for uni) and I find it quite embarrassing that people must think it odd I have so few friends

I often wish I lived somewhere else then I would have an excuse for not having friends!

My children are getting to an age where if I say I have met a friend for coffee they get all excited and pleased for me , it’s like the notice I haven’t many friends which I feel bad, I don’t want to worry them. I thought maybe if I have a few activities I do instead so I seem more interesting. Otherwise they will just grow up seeing me as someone who makes their dinner pottles around the house !

From these statements it sounds less as if you want to make friends than as if you are embarrassed because you think other people must find it odd or worrying you don't have friends in the place where you grew up. Do you actually, truly want friends, OP, regardless of what other people think?

No town doesn’t begin with an h. Why do you ask?

I am not really sure to be honest scatterlit. That’s a good point

@Scatterlit I think has it spot on.

Also do you want friends? I am an extrovert people person and find being alone very lonely. I love socialising and talking to people so have lots of "mates"
I probably only have a few real friends but have lots of acquaintances.
My hobby and my children help me have lots of social things to do. But I also do like to be on my own.

I would definitely recommend exploration around why you don't hold onto friendships if this is concerning you.

I can be weird and quirky and outspoken some but people love me in-spite if that!