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Original poster

My cat is a dick!

55 replies

Newyearnewarse · 17/01/2020 21:55

It refuses to leave the house by the front door!
Why ?
It leave the back door and then walks past the front door and down the drive so it's not because we have a scary wolf out the front.
But the front door is easier for me.
I love him but he is a dick !
Please tell me about your dickhead pets!

OP posts:
tiredsleepysleep · 17/01/2020 22:02

Haha! I haven't got a cat but I love your cat!

jmh740 · 17/01/2020 22:02

Mine too! She has a perfectly good cat flap in the back door but can open the front door herself and get in that way, unfortunately she hasn't learnt to close doors so she just leaves it wide open.
She has also been known to open next doors front door and sleep on one of their beds, next door are not keen on cats and even less so since we moved in last year 😳

Iliketeaagain · 17/01/2020 22:04

Maybe you have a cat like Mog who forgets he can go in and out through one door..

Or maybe he's just a dick - it's in their genes I reckon

Interested in this thread?

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Cats
Alicesweewonders · 17/01/2020 22:05

All Cats are dicks. Mine included

wonderstuff · 17/01/2020 22:12

All cats are dicks. Mine brought in a live mouse during dinner this evening. Often she'll behead them, you'll find one bit and have to find the rest. Every now and again she'll hide or lose one, last month we found one, alive but unable to get out from under a bag in the corner of our bedroom, found at 3am.

Original poster
Newyearnewarse · 17/01/2020 22:17

@Iliketeaagain good point. He will come in the front door but not out the front door.

He is bloody weird.

He does however lie on my legs which means my DH has to make the tea. Sleeping cats cant be moved !
So he is not all bad .

OP posts:
Original poster
Newyearnewarse · 17/01/2020 22:19

And I should never have bothered saying dickhead pets because I know they will all be cats.

Other pets at least try and be cute and charming a little bit.

OP posts:
Billyeyelash · 17/01/2020 22:20

My cat is currently sat with me so typing this quietly...
Instead of using his catflap to come back in, he prefers to stand upright with his body flat on the patio doors then with his paws scrap away until one of us gives in and opens the patio doors.
Fucking use your own fucking door you bloody gorgeous but bloody minded cat.

ReginaGeorgeous · 17/01/2020 22:25

My cat is a massive dick too. He lives at my mums house (long story) and he threw up in her fruit bowl the other day.

SoldiersinPetticoats · 17/01/2020 22:26

My cat is a dick too. Love the great big goon but he is ridiculous. What colour is your cat, OP? I have a theory that black cats are the biggest dicks in the cat world.

Mocha3105 · 17/01/2020 22:36

I had a cat that would wake me in the middle of the night to go and watch him eat biscuits, he was black. I also had a tabby female who like to climb into open bags, boxes, anywhere really to sleep and sit on the kids homework with mucky paws. She was an absolute nutter. Left me a 'present' in my slipper once too 🤣

ponygirlcurtis · 17/01/2020 22:52

My ginger boys are both total adorable maniacs. One regularly comes home collarless (I have many spares on hand), the other brings me home random meat - gammon slice, hamburger, chicken drumstick. No idea where he's getting it from. Over the summer, they woke me at 5am every morning miaowing loudly because they wanted a cuddle. Good job I luffs them.

toomanyleggings · 17/01/2020 23:04

Sometimes my cat refuses to come in, then waits until I've given up and gone to bed then makes god awful yowling noises through the air vent, like it's her own damn intercom.

AlCalavicci · 18/01/2020 03:13

My cat ( black and white) likes playing fetch with screwed up bits of paper.
I am not sure if he is a dick for thinking he is a dog or I am for indulging him in his mad , at least 15 min long, game

DramaAlpaca · 18/01/2020 03:20

Mine has two cat flaps, one at each end of the house. He refuses to use them if a human is around and demands to be let in or out the window or patio door. And if it's raining he patrols around every possible exit checking the weather conditions before demanding out. Annoying creature.

He's currently on my lap, a rarity that I an enjoying. I need to go to bed but I can't possibly kick him off so I'm stuck here until he moves.

HirplesWithHaggis · 18/01/2020 03:24

SoldiersinPetticoats

My cat is a dick too. Love the great big goon but he is ridiculous. What colour is your cat, OP? I have a theory that black cats are the biggest dicks in the cat world.

I currently have two cats, brothers/littermates. I love black cats, and had kitten need when my friends cat birthed a litter, one of which was black. I said I would take that one, and a littermate who was mostly white... two and a half years later, the white cat is a far bigger dick than his black brother.

But I love both of the wee shites.

Squigean · 18/01/2020 03:55

She has a perfectly good cat flap in the back door but can open the front door herself and get in that way, unfortunately she hasn't learnt to close doors so she just leaves it wide open.
Bet she does know how to close them, she just doesn't bother!!

My cat my cat also refused to use his cat flap. But only at night. He'd come wake me up and make me* open the front door. I took a stand and refused to open it for him by just showing his cat flap and going to back to bed. Took a while but I won and he now uses the cat flap!!! now he just wakes me up so I can walk him to his cat flap (that's why I'm awake now)

Squigean · 18/01/2020 03:56
  • reckon only slaves to dickhead pets understand how a cat can make you do something
Bluewavescrashing · 18/01/2020 04:34

My cat is gorgeous and much loved but a total dick. She wakes me at 4am, stamping on me then buggers off outside to go hunting. She pukes on my bed occasionally. She sits mewing for attention when I'm at my busiest and gets under my feet. Love her though. I'm her servant.

Bluewavescrashing · 18/01/2020 04:35

She also knows when I need a wee and stamps on my bladder.

sashh · 18/01/2020 05:14

Most of the year my bedroom window is open so madam can come and go as she pleases.

2 days ago I opened the window and it hasn't been closed since.

She is still demanding I let her in and out of the living room window.

hagsrus0 · 18/01/2020 05:17

"Greebo always slept on Nanny's bed; the way he'd affectionately try to claw your eyeballs out in the morning was as good as an alarm clock. But she always left a window open all night in case he wanted to go out and disembowel something, bless him.”

Southmouth · 18/01/2020 07:11

My cat is also a dick.

She permanently follows me begging for food like she’s starved, but she has a bowl of food and water always topped up and left out.

She also had the shits on my expensive shaggy rug, when the litter tray was just outside the room!

SnugglySnerd · 18/01/2020 07:20

Mine likes to sleep on top if the armchair near the radiator. He often falls down the back of the chair and can't get out. I have told him several times that cats are meant to be good at both jumping and squeezing through quite small gaps but he prefers to make us move the chair everytime. I assume it happens when we are out but we have never returned from work to find him trapped bathing the chair so presumably he can get out on his own!

SnugglySnerd · 18/01/2020 07:21

*behind the chair, not bathing the chair! He definitely wouldn't bathe!!