Sending your child to nursery when you're at home

[Roomarmoset]

Hello
I just wanted to get opinions on this situation.

I'm currently ill with S&D and have to stay away from work for 48 hours.

My DD is 13 months and normally goes to a nursery on Friday morning and I pick her up at 1.

I spoke to a friend earlier and she said she thought it was awful that I'd send my DD to nursery when I'm at home. I argued that I'm not well and want nothing more than to curl up on the sofa. I haven't had any time to myself since going back to work.

Now I feel awful and think maybe I should keep her home with me. What would you do?

Do it and don’t feel guilty!
I’m on maternity leave & DS (just 2) is still doing 3 full days a week. 7.30-4.30 ish.
He loves it, and I get time to snuggle with our newborn in bed a few days a week.

We also take the odd day off when he’s at nursery for us. No harm done!

Of course, send her so you can recover in peace. Also, if she enjoys nursery, she will probably have more fun there than at home with you if you are too ill to be entertaining all day.
My DC went to nursery on a day when I wasn't at work most weeks, because I have a shift work job so I don't work set days but nursery would only do set days. I still sent them if I wasn't at work on a nursery day, so I could recover from my very intense job and shop and clean the house and other stuff it was much easier to do without them.

Tell her this. I sent mine to nursery when I was on maternity with my second. I had to pay for the place! I had very short maternity leave anyway.

If you're too ill to work then you're too ill to look after13 month old. In fact you should see if they can have her longer - unless she naps at 1 anyway in which case you will get some rest.

Perhaps the nursery would have her for two days, you need to give yourself time to get better.

your friend is an idiot. you are ill fgs.

even if you weren't i'd highly recommend a day of AL when the children are in childcare, it's very important for the constitution - i do it every now and again just because i feel like it, i am not a machine.

I work from home so I've never had this but I've always thought this was the major perk of working out of the home and having the kids in nursery. A sick day can be a sick day!

I think it's better to keep them in routine and you deserve some time for yourself to recover. It's not like you sent her off down the coal mines!

We upped DS's hours for a couple of months when I was heavily pregnant and had SPD and for the postnatal period (having had a tough 1st birth)

I taught on short-term contracts while the DCs were young. They went in consistently through holidays and non-working phases for their own stability, and some break was very healthy for me.

Time with me and time at nursery gave them a well rounded set of different experiences.

Being kept in with a poorly parent is hardly quality time.

You'll all be pleased to know that DD is in nursery and I'm at home, all tucked up and watching ER

Your friend is batshit batshit batshit

I send mine anyway all the time! It's not just for your benefit (you get to rest and recover, or get shit done if you're better), it's also for DCs benefit. They get to socialise and have fun with others. It's important. Your friend is a dick!

Mine goes to after school club and breakfast club to accommodate my work and me doing my horse. And then holiday club to give me a day to myself in the school holidays. Not a problem.

I used to love the times when I was on annual leave and my DS still did his nursery days. Got so much done or just sat on my arse

Your friend is mad, totally 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why would anybody want to look after a toddler when you are ill ? Your friend is clearly trying for a martyr award or something nobody keeps their kids off nursery for that reason.

I had this on Wednesday and sent my DD. I was no use to her and I couldn't move without vomiting. I cried most of the day out of guilt and my family told me I was crazy for getting upset...."You can't pour from an empty cup". Rest up and get well xx

I would absolutely send my DC to nursery as normal if I was ill.

Partly because you’ll get better faster if you can rest properly, partly because DC will have more fun at nursery than stuck at home with a parent who’s not well enough to do anything with them.

Hope you recover soon

Your friend is weird. I was a SAHM for both of my DC and they both went to nursery three days a week. Similarly back in the dark ages when more mums were SAH, I went to nursery although my mum didn't work then. You're not sending them there necessarily because you are not at home. They go to socialise and get used to being in a setting without you (and to do the messy stuff so I didn't need to do so much of it at home!). Does your friend have children?

Now I feel awful and think maybe I should keep her home with me. What would you do?

Send child to nursery, get better.
Then drop the "friend".

My DD would be gutted if I took her off nursery to sit around watching me blow my nose! And you've presumably already paid them, so why on earth wouldn't you send her in?

When DS was young I worked half days on Thursdays but still put him in nursery for the whole day

Apparently she had a wonderful time at nursery, didn't want to leave when her grandparents picked her up!

Your 'friend' would hate me. I carried on sending DS1 to nursery through my entire maternity leave with DS2. I cut his hours from 8-6 (which lots of people hate, but when your job is 9-5 with a commute...) down to mornings only, and then he started school towards the end. I thought that was better than being stuck at home with a baby all day when he was used to nursery.

I kept up my nanny for DC1 right the way through my mat leave with DC2. (Partially because I really wanted to hang onto my wonderful nanny, obvs, but also so that I could get the break and DC1 could have fun.) I don't know what your friend would think of me, but I do know I don't care.