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Dry January 2020 thread 2... keeping it dry!

612 replies

ParanoidGynodroid · 16/01/2020 09:11

Thread two to help us continue to share the love (and dryness)

Keep going, everyone... good luck Brew

OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
AdaKirkby · 27/01/2020 18:30

@jackstini

I’ve tried to cut down on swearing. It’s harder than giving up booze!

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Blaziken · 27/01/2020 19:18

Hi everyone. Not been on for a few day but I'm still going. I decided to start reducing my dose of antidepressants with the plan of stopping altogether so dry January seemed like a good time. Been feeling ok and not drinking has definitely made it much easier.

I've also been thinking more about what to do going forward. I never, ever want to return to the bottle-a-night habit. Ever. I'm wondering if I could cope with just once a week but is it worth it for feeling crappy the next day?

Breathmiller · 27/01/2020 19:26

Another idea for a drink that I've been enjoying. Ginger ale. Not ginger beer which i like but lighter.

Just realised I didn't have an AF alternative this weekend. It just didn't feel necessary. Funny, I hadn't even noticed that I didn't need that crutch to get through not drinking.

I really have no desire for drinking at this moment which i remembers happening when I was off completely.

What a great feeling!

dementedma · 27/01/2020 19:27

Blaziken I could have written that post. Am also reducing ADs this month with a view to stopping and feeling ok so far.
Agree with the poster up thread too who feels that the biggest change is the mental “lightness”. I have so much more clarity of thought and positivity without the nightly bottle of booze.
I think I’m going to try and stay off it a bit longer. Challenge for February is to up the exercise now and work on the fitness.

Breathmiller · 27/01/2020 19:43

dementedma
That's how I'm feeling at the moment..
Not..."oh great! Nearly done, back to same old same soon"
But..."now i feel the non drinking is established, what can I layer on? Reducing sugar.... general exercise....healthier eating (I failed on the crisps today )"

Because there is part of me that thinks i could NEVER manage to cut down on sugar or snacks or unhealthy eating. But in truth the me from about a decade ago, or certainly two decades ago, would never believe I could stop or take control of my drinking.

And here I am seriously thinking of giving up altogether.

Surely then, sugar or other unhealthy habits that no longer serve me must be a doddle?!

GreyGardens88 · 27/01/2020 19:48

Day 27. I'm starting to feel a bit conflicted about the end of Dry Jan now. Last week I was gagging for a drink and the 1st couldn't come soon enough. This week though, now we're on the home straight I'm starting to feel weirdly sad thinking of it being over. I guess I'm just proud of what I've done and I'm worried about going back to old habits and erasing all the good I've done this month.

Mind you, when Friday comes I may well be cheering the end

yellowallpaper · 27/01/2020 20:08

I drank a rather disgusting Parma violet gin and organic tonic water, but I'm not doing DJ as I'm practically teetotal anyway. It's DH who is. He says he's sleeping better, has more energy and more money!

funnyoldonion · 27/01/2020 20:34

@myhandsareverycold, @Breathmiller, @HisBetterHalf and others who would like to continue, I would too! I would really like too. I feel sad about it ending, I feel like I could turn my life around, stay focused saving our house deposit and as a tribute to my poor dad who suffered from alcohol and addiction all his life and died as a consequence, some of his last words were "I'm just sorry for all the time I've missed" Sad

Angelik · 27/01/2020 20:42

Reading others considering stopping unhealthy eating habits. I have too but I want to be fair to myself (dj for me was what i have to do to not smoke) and not put whole heap of pressure and unreasonable expectations on self. That's what make me want to poor a massive red and light up.

So my next ambition is take it week by week. Plan when I want to enjoy a couple of glasses. Giving up for a month is great but only the start. It's about changing little by little. I've got to accept I'll put on weight but I'll monitor it and when time is right I'll think about tackling it.

So really I just want you all to be kind and fair to yourselves

myhandsareverycold · 27/01/2020 20:47

@funnyoldonion

Let's do it! I'm in. I'm aiming for 14th February! Friday night, Valentine's Day, no children. We have a lovely bottle of champagne in the fridge. I'm going to stay dry till then.

Feeling solidarity with all the others who are admitting to drinking a bottle a night. That was me (often it was more) and now I'm actually enjoying not drinking.

I was at a family members funeral today and everyone was ordering drinks. I had a fizzy water and was so proud of myself!

We can do this.

Breathmiller · 27/01/2020 20:48

funnyoldonion

That is sad. I'm just reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and she talked about one of her clients who's mum was dying..
“You know,” her mum whispered softly, “all my life I thought something was wrong with me.” Shaking her head slightly, as if to say, “What a waste,” she closed her eyes and drifted back into a coma. Several hours later she passed away."

I think I feel the same as your dad. I don't want to waste a minute more on feeling at war with myself and that for me includes alcohol or my attitude to alcohol.
As I've said before on here, I would love to have a healthy take it or leave or attitude...but maybe its time just to gently accept that that is a struggle too far for me. And by taking it out of the equation it just doesn't become a battle anymore between abstinence and over indulging.

It just....goes.

Breathmiller · 27/01/2020 20:51

This is one of my favourite poems...

She Let Go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

jackstini · 27/01/2020 22:04

Love that poem @Breathmiller

SylviaC · 27/01/2020 22:11

Lovely to read everyones thoughts. Anyone who thinks DJ is a gimmick or waste of time should look here.

I am going to try to carry on with better habits too and will probably try to get to 300 days. Special plan to avoid wine and catch up on my own after a long day when it's easy to just knock back several glasses without even thinking.

funnyoldonion · 27/01/2020 22:20

Thank you for sharing that poem @Breathmiller, very poignant. I like the ending too, so lovely and thought provoking. I like your idea of just taking alcohol out of the equation, it simply just isn't there. I often think I wish it hadn't ever been invented but I guess there would have been another vice and it's about gaining the strength of mind to overcome it.

@myhandsareverycold okay let's plod on a bit longer! Get you to your champers on Valentines and hopefully I can stay hanging on!

AdaKirkby · 27/01/2020 23:10

@GreyGardens88

I know what you mean, I’m almost sad it’s nearly over too. I’m in the 300 dry days per year group (once DJ has finished) but feel like I may need to break it down into smaller chunks of time.

Els1e · 28/01/2020 06:42

Love that poem. Like others, I’m thinking about what happens after end of Jan. Originally I was going to drink again from the 1st Feb. My dp retires end of this week and we have a celebratory lunch arranged for Saturday. I want to make the odd glass of wine the exception not the norm. I thought about having dry periods etc but perhaps it is as simple as the poem. I don’t overthink, I just let it (alcohol) go.

SegregateMumBev · 28/01/2020 07:07

Day 28: Beautiful poem from Breathmiller. "And the sun and the moon shone forever"

Dry January 2020 thread 2... keeping it dry!
IWillWearTheGreenWillow · 28/01/2020 07:17

Jackstini, hope your day recovered and you can (temporarily, at least) put down some of your spinning plates, that sounds hard.

Breathmiller, that poem is lovely, but it speaks to me of the end of one's life. I've decided I'm generally happier without alcohol and the constant mental trade offs - shall I have a drink today / no, I shouldn't / but it would be nice / I can stop after just one etc and so forth. There is so much more peace in not drinking.

I do think I find it hard reducing everything at once though. Before Christmas, I was grain and sugar free but drank alcohol; now, I've stopped drinking but am struggling with grains and sugar, even though grains make me ill. I just can't summon the headspace to find alternatives for everything at once.

myhandsareverycold · 28/01/2020 07:19

@breath

Love the poem. Copied and pasted it into my notes.

My OH has just informed me I don't snore anymore! I was a notorious snorer. Another plus!

Breathmiller · 28/01/2020 08:28

@IWillWearTheGreenWillow

Isnt that interesting? I alwYs find it fascinating how everyone gets something different from poetry.
To me it lets me get rid of all the crap I carry around and lets me live. So to me its about living freely.

I'm glad everyone is enjoying it in their own way.

Day 31 here. And I realised I stopped counting the days ages ago.

jackstini · 28/01/2020 09:00

Had 1 glass of wine in bath and 1 after with dinner
No craving for more!

Day did not get much better but today is calmer and I am thankful for that

Busy work day and having 5 doors fitted so cracking on!

dementedma · 28/01/2020 15:29

DS is 18 today. Fizz in the fridge for everyone else. AF beer for me. Not quite the same but I’m damned if I’m falling this close to the line!

7Days · 28/01/2020 17:15

Happy birthday to your DS DementedMa
I bet that day on the maternity seems like yesterday even when you look at this lovely young man in front of you. Smile

GreyGardens88 · 28/01/2020 18:53

Day 29 - Nothing much to report, normal day at work, still not drinking. Unlike pp I still snore like a Rhino. Tomorrow is our 5th Wednesday alcohol free, how impressive is that!

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