Dry January 2020 thread 2... keeping it dry!

[ParanoidGynodroid]

Thread two to help us continue to share the love (and dryness)

Keep going, everyone... good luck

Still here. Day 22 in the bag. Keep going, lads.

I haven’t thought about it today. That’s a change!

I was due to have a planned lapse on Saturday but you know what? I’m questioning if I’ll bother! That’s a new feeling. However I’ll have massive PMT by then which may change things.

I’m not sure if in dare say this out loud but.....

And I’m quite a controlled person in lots of ways. So I’ve spent some time today thinking about why on Earth I’ve wanted to indulge in something that makes me feel less controlled?

Just been to give DC a kiss on my way to bed. Lent over their beds and thought:

-I love and appreciate doing this every night, noticing their freckles and little soft faces
-I am not breathing nasty sour wine breath on them

Neither of the above are thoughts I’ve regularly had before. I need to have them more often.

I'm really impressed with how well everyone's doing.
I've been dry since boxing Day and have had new years eve, a birthday party and a wake to contend with, but I did it. Feeling pretty proud of myself to be honest

I am drinking so much tea these days! I already drank a lot but so much more now.

Day 23: Singing. I knew that alcohol was bad for the singing voice, but I can't quite believe how much better my voice sounds when I'm crooning along in the car. I'm now off to ask Alexa to play some Billie Holliday.

Had a bit of an epiphany last night. It was day 20 for me, got another badge from the app, not as excited about it as I'd hoped because yesterday was a very difficult day. I have so many plates spinning I'm getting no respite; I was using wine to put emotional distance between me and them and, I think, to give me the "right" to say no - "oh, I can't give you a lift / do this paperwork at 10pm / add something else to my endless list of responsibilities, because I've had a drink".

I did briefly think right, I've ticked off Day 20, now I can have a sneaky drink, which I'm rather ashamed of.

Instead, I had hot chocolate and buttery toast, both of which I know upset my tummy. So is the issue that I actually eat my feelings with products I know will make me feel ill later? The sugar rush from hot chocolate isn't worth the indigestion any more than the disconnect wine brings is worth the hangover. I suspect I may be deliberately self-sabotaging.

That's a bit deep for a Thursday morning. Hey ho. Onwards etc.

Nomorewineever, I agree, it is starting to feel absolutely normal and I can barely believe how habitual this waste of time had become!

Inspirational posts above plus honesty and love those who slip getting back on (me included) just as much as those who’ve stayed on throughout (nye ! Well done).
I’m no longer -
Thinking ahead about whether I have anything to drink in the house.
‘Popping to the shop’ on way home for alcohol and buying kind of ‘cover’ things as well.
Thinking about whether anyone is around for a quick drink (live and work surrounded by self employed irregular hours drinking culture pubs etc).
Watching as much time wasting tv. More discerning.
Struggling with heavy recycling bags.

I’ve not lost weight as I’m eating more if anything but people have started to compliment me on odd things - hair, you look relaxed, etc. Around the fringes it’s clearly making a difference - let alone my actual liver !!

IWearTheGreenWillow I think a lot of us here use alcohol and/or food to mask the issues in our life. I know I do.

I've had some worries crop up over the last few weeks to do with family members which on top of my own concerns regarding my own personal situation left me feeling a bit overwhelmed last night. I didn't reach for the bottle or even think about it but I think had I been drinking I would have got to Friday and thought, yep, definitely having a bottle of wine (at least) tonight because it's been a stressful week and I need to just forget about it all. Wouldn't make the worries go away but it would be a few hours where I didn't care. I think I need to take up meditation.

@Nomorewineever - I have been thinking the same about my planned lapse this weekend! Doesn't look like we are going out for DH's birthday now on Sat so might just not bother!
He is out on Friday and that would normally be my cue to have a bottle of wine at home but not feeling fussed really

Have done 28 days now, which I never thought I would (or could)

My lapse earlier this week told me what I already knew. Alcohol has no place in my life. I have a big night out coming up in a few weeks.m time and I’ve just committed to being the designated driver. I’ll still enjoy the night sober, so why would I want to drink? It seems such a daft thing to do now.

Feeling fed up today. Proud that I have lasted this long but not seeing any of the physical benefits. Skin looks the same (crap and dull), less bloating but no weightloss, sleep is hit and miss (some nights good, some nights not as good). I am now kind of thinking whats the point. Even the fatty liver isnt inspiring me anymore. Cant see if thats improved or not so other than DJ saving me some pennies, Im kind of thinking I might as well return to enjoying myself and drinking again. Handhold need please.

@HisBetterHalf I would have said I completely agree. But wait until you have a night's drinking on the 1st (or whenever you decide) and you'll realise how crap you feel afterwards. Not having that feeling really is worth the abstinence - we just forget what it was like.

I think I assumed that if I dropped drinking, I'd instantly be this slim, healthy person, waking up bright and early and full of energy. And I'm not. But the difference is that I'm NOT hungover, mainlining carbs to deal with it, worrying about what might have happened the night before etc. I never really got drunk drunk (to the point of falling over and forgetting what had happened) but my behaviour definitely changes when I'm drinking. I'm more relaxed, but not in a controlled way (if that makes sense). So it's finding other ways to treat myself - and if that's an early night and a book, that's no bad thing!

@HisBetterHalf

Wait till you suffer a hangover then that may put you off!!

Seriously though my mindset is now changing and I realise I have more to gain NOT drinking. I was a bottle of wine a night, every night without fail (and it would often be more) so that's huge for me. I was definitely alcohol dependent.

It's like a weight has lifted. I actually feel nervous to have a drink now. This is a complete revelation for me. Perhaps this just isn't your time though. I truly believe you have to WANT to do it not be told to do it or feel you should.

Good luck. We are all here.

I contacted a friend last week, who I normally meet over wine, said I was doing Dry January, but would she like a coffee at some point? And we met up today and had a really nice chat. Nothing earthshattering, but if you're a bit socially crap (introvert) and sometimes use alcohol to give confidence in social situations, it's rather good to realise you absolutely don't have to!

Needing a boost tonight - cooking paella 🥘 and so white wine is open - oh my word the smell

Please convince me it is enough to keep sniffing it and that my crappy non alcoholic version will be just as nice 😖

@jackstini

Do you have a busy day tomorrow?

Could you write off tomorrow if necessary?

Will you feel better if you have some wine?

If you can answer yes then why not?

However....it's so nearly the end of January. Are you using the app? Can you prove to yourself you can do it?

Good luck whatever you decide. We are here to support and not judge.

Handhold to everyone.
I Am leaving work. I am NOT going to Waitrose I’m way home. I will go straight home (this does mean I will have to eat something rather odd for dinner I think but no way am I going anywhere selling alcohol right now).
Handhold everyone. If anyone slips get right back up here !

Day 23, starting to struggle a lot. When the time hits 4pm all I can think of is a nice cocktail with ice cubes and condensation dripping down the side . BUT I have come this far, so will plod and plod along until the 1st

GreyGardens88 me too, tonight! I’m not giving in though. I’ve been feeling so good about it, I don’t want to feel shitty!

I've really been struggling today too. I think it's because the end is in sight! Just 8 days to go, i'm really pleased that I decided to do this. However next time I think I'll definitely make sure that the house is wine free first. It's been tough at times knowing that there's a bottle of wine close by.

Tonight has been difficult for me too. Had a rough time at toddler gymnastics (the leaders got a bit ambitious and thought they could get the children to actually do things rather than just play on the equipment like usual and DS was less than cooperative) and just really wanted a drink when I got home. Only thing that stopped me opening a bottle of wine was knowing I have to be up at 6:30 tomorrow. The feeling seems to have passed now though thank goodness, going to drink some herbal tea now.

Survived tea at the pub with 6 other people drinking, was hard as @MaudesMum describes I'm that introvert and drink for dutch courage. I didn't know a couple of the people too well so felt quite self conscious but I got through it and feel good now! I've been finding it harder the more it's gone by but its really helping me at the same time. Hand hold for everyone!

Day 23 and feeling meh, I won't drink but I just feel so blah but can't put my finger on it. More I want to say but just putting lo to bed and need to try and exit the room on stealth mode

@myhandsareverycold - answers below!

Do you have a busy day tomorrow? No - day off

Could you write off tomorrow if necessary? Yes

Will you feel better if you have some wine? Probably only for the next hour!

If you can answer yes then why not?

However....it's so nearly the end of January. Are you using the app? Yes Can you prove to yourself you can do it? Have been dry since Boxing day so done 28 days...

Good luck whatever you decide. We are here to support and not judge. Thank you - went in the bath with the non-alcoholic crap!