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Original poster

Child birthday party - presents

21 replies

Poetryinaction · 14/01/2020 21:56

We have hired a hall and invited 30 guests to my son's 6th birthday. I've only done a big kids party like this once before when he was 3, and requested no gifts.
I wish I'd done the same this time. I am feeling really uneasy about it. How does it work? Can you really let a kid open 30 presents? That is far too much! Is there anyone with experience who can suggest how to approach this? Can I send a text asking for inexpensive gifts? Or convince him to donate a few to charity? He has 2 younger siblings who might struggle with him having so many gifts, and I am struggling with the idea of the excess and him being spoilt.
Ideas appreciated! Thanks

OP posts:

Stompythedinosaur · 14/01/2020 22:04

Most guests will want to bring a present. Many presents will be a small token. Just let him have presents! He doesn't have to open them all at once. Presumably the siblings will get something similar on their birthday when they are his age.

neverornow · 14/01/2020 22:06

Yes text and insist on no gifts. Some people will still arrive with gifts and if you end up with too many then have your DC choose some to donate to charity, some to keep for himself and maybe have him give his siblings a gift each?

MamaWeasel · 14/01/2020 22:12

Bless him, let him have his presents and fuss.... The other siblings will no doubt have their "moment" too :)

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Taddda · 14/01/2020 22:13

People will want to bring a gift to a childs party, I would- is there much age difference between your DC's? Are they goodcwoth sharing? I'd group them together after the party, let them have fun opening at home and let them choose a few to donate to a childrens charity/hospital-

If your that uncomfortable though, just a group text saying 'forgot to add on the invite, no gifts necessary!' Something light and friendly.

Taddda · 14/01/2020 22:14

*good with...

Itsashame · 14/01/2020 22:15

I’m with you op. Whenever I’ve done whole class parties, (30 kids) it’s been a joint party and we’ve said to just bring one gift to be shared between the birthday children. 30 gifts does seem a bit obscene on top of family gifts presumably

Blackbear19 · 14/01/2020 22:17

Most gifts will be a small token anyway. I'd let him open them. See what he really wants to keep and maybe convince him to donate some. Another option is to keep some for the next party that pops up.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 14/01/2020 22:18

Thanks for the replies. I'll have a think about how to word the text. The siblings are 4 and 2. They share beautifully, but it doesn't come as naturally to him. I think I will make the suggestion he choose a gift for each sibling and one for charity before he starts opening.

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clary · 14/01/2020 22:21

You might find you get doubles or things you already have anyway, so you can suggest he regifts those (note whom they were from!). For this and other reasons open them at home later 😀

BedraggledBlitz · 14/01/2020 22:25

Quite a few at mine put a fiver in a card for him. But there were lots of presents too. I let him open them and squirreled away the ones he didnt break the seal on, then gave them to charity. He has no idea as there was so much going on.

Its tricky cos people feel they should bring a present. If I was asked not to i would be fine with it. Relieved in fact!

milkysmum · 14/01/2020 22:26

I've always found that lots of people put a little bit of money in the card or voucher rather than all bringing presents, it's never as many gifts as you imagine. If there are a lot I would pop some away in the cupboard, rotate them maybe, donate, or re gift accordingly. But my bet would be you get less than you think, I always just pop a fiver in the card to be honest, particularly to a whole class party if I don't even know the child well.

cobwebsoncornices · 14/01/2020 22:31

When we had a whole class party for DD in reception, we just spread them over a few days. The day of her party she opened presents from her friends (mainly people she'd been to nursery with) and then the next couple of days was the others.
She & then 3yo DS just opened them together. There were so many that she really didn't care that he helped.
As others have said, some will be duplicates, others might be not be something your DC would enjoy so those can be squirrelled away. If you are likely to re-gift them to another class party, do note who the present was from so you don't regift it to the person who gave it to you.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 14/01/2020 22:33

Thsnks again for these. I am feeling better about it now!

OP posts:

Notso · 14/01/2020 22:53

I think I will make the suggestion he choose a gift for each sibling and one for charity before he starts opening.

That seems unfair tbh. He should get to open his own presents himself if he chooses and give any duplicates or things he's not into to charity or his siblings.
If nothing else it might cause a headache for you if one of his siblings is given a present that it turns he really wants.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 14/01/2020 23:14

No that's what I meant. I'll suggest before he opens, but he can choose after.

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mummaaw · 14/01/2020 23:17

He really shouldn't have to give his siblings any of his presents that's cruel
I'm guessing they all share and play anyway so obviously they can take it in turns but it should be your oldests actual presents

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 14/01/2020 23:22

Ah well. Will play it by ear. I won't suggeat it in front of them, sonit would be his choice.

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Original poster

Poetryinaction · 14/01/2020 23:23

Excuse typos

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butterry · 14/01/2020 23:25

Around here we have fiver parties so £5 in a card or ask for a drawing and book that has been pre-loved to pass onto your child

Blackbear19 · 14/01/2020 23:36

If he's 6 and siblings are 2 and 4 its unlikely he'll get gifts that are suitable for him to give to them. Just wait and see what he gets and what can be shared.

I know this isn't part of your thought process but kids parties are where kids learn the Party Etiquette, that you don't really turn up at a party empty handed and you say thanks for whatever you are given. So for that reason alone I wouldn't say No to gifts.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 19/01/2020 21:30

Update:
Party was a great success. Younger siblings coped fine and were happy for him. A couple of no shows and 7 x money or giftcards. Very generous, and I feel bad accepting money, but lovely that I can put it in his savings.
One present duplicated and he gave his sister the double without being prompted. Also shared anything sharable (some sweets).
He got some lovely stuff and was delighted with it. I feel humbled, but not as awkward as I had feared, and the invitees had fun.

OP posts:

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