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Original poster

Is it weird that I’m nearly 40 and never been to a wedding?

101 replies

MooKnee · 14/01/2020 21:32

I guess it’s just circumstantial, about half of my friends aren’t married, others were already married when I met them, a handful got married abroad and I couldn’t afford to go.
I never went to any weddings growing up as I come from a tiny family and similar aged relatives have never been married.
Is this unusual or any others out there never been to a wedding?
I should add, I’ve been with DP 10 years and no marriage on the cards but I might change that if it turns out I am weird and need to get to a wedding pronto!!

OP posts:

Wheresthebiffer2 · 15/01/2020 21:35

I've been to lots. Unfortunately lots of the couples (including myself) later got divorced.

BuckingFrolics · 15/01/2020 21:38

I've been to one and I'm late 50s. Feel lucky tbh.

YouJustDoYou · 15/01/2020 21:40

You're not missing anything.

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings

WeirdSpots · 15/01/2020 22:04

Think of all the money you've saved though on presents, outfits, travel and accommodation. Not to mention the umpteen hen dos people seem to have these days!

PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya · 15/01/2020 22:12

I’m 40 and I’ve been to two. I feel a bit odd. I seem to be the friend that people excitedly tell about their wedding plans and I enthusiastically listen... and then I don’t get invited.

I’ve done a lot of personal work in the last few years so I’m trying to be less bothered by this type of stuff. Trying

elQuintoConyo · 15/01/2020 22:30

I forgot a cousin! So, I've been to 7 in total, one has ended in divorce - not mine!

megletthesecond · 15/01/2020 22:32

I've only been to one friends wedding and 6 family weddings.
Been to more funerals.

ltk · 15/01/2020 23:07

Unusual that you have never been to one, but I see how it can happen. The majority of my friends have never married, for a variety of reasons. So while I have been to a dozen or so over the years, including my own, I can easily imagine that close friends tend to share social values, so the trend against marriage in some friendship groups will be large. And if you have a smallish extended family, too, it just might never happen!

TheYearOfTheDog · 15/01/2020 23:15

Lucky you!

Only joking. Kind of.

I've never been a bridesmaid. I do have friends but I never seemed to make the cut. I don't care now. But in the past I felt a bit confused and hurt by the fact that I was never asked, even by quite good friends.

StCharlotte · 15/01/2020 23:23

I've been to loads (mid 50s). I love them and was most miffed not to have one in 2019. Nothing on the cards for 2020 either. Boo. Although 2021's looking more promising.

(I did apologise to my brother recently for probably doubling his bar tab at his daughter's wedding two years ago )

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 15/01/2020 23:27

I've not been to very many and am your age. Mine, DH's exW's, two of my friends, my stepson and my auntie (was a little bridesmaid). That's it I think.

June705 · 15/01/2020 23:32

Yes that's weird

Elbeagle · 16/01/2020 09:18

I’ve been a bridesmaid 7 times and will be again this year (at the age of 35... I do feel that’s a bit old to be bridesmaid!)

Betelgeuse3 · 16/01/2020 09:22

I've not been to a wedding (apart from my own!) or a funeral, mid 30s. Only one of my close friends has gotten married and she did it in the country she moved to, so I couldn't go due to the expense.

Elbeagle · 16/01/2020 09:23

Sadly I have also been to 16 funerals.

Cookit · 16/01/2020 09:23

I would say it’s unusual yes.

I’ve been to one or two family ones but mostly friends or DH’s friends. Probably been invited to 15, been to 10, mid 30s (sometimes I decline them due to children). I might well not go to anymore for a while though because most friends are already married.

imaflutteringkite · 16/01/2020 09:25

I've been to 3, including my own. I'm 37.

TheVanguardSix · 16/01/2020 09:31

I'm 47 and I haven't been to a wedding since my brother's when I was 29. I haven't flown back to the States for the handful of weddings I've been invited to over the years. Also, I'm not at all close with my family.

Basically, if your wedding is going to cause me to rack up debt, I'm not going. And too many weddings are location weddings lasting an entire weekend and costing way too much for guests. I don't shell out for other's vanity. I sound like a bitch, I know. But they've ALL ended in divorce. All of them. And I've not lost thousands indulging in other's fantasies. You live next to a freeway in a shitbox of a town in Indiana. Don't pretend the ranch wedding in Montana will make us believe otherwise. Oooh I'm cynical, aren't I? The 40s baby! That's what happens. The rose tinted glasses crumble.

strawberry2017 · 16/01/2020 10:08

Be glad! You have saved yourself a fortune!
Plus weddings can be really dull and I thought that about my own too 😂

MadFrog2020 · 16/01/2020 10:31

I’m mid forties. I went to my aunt and uncles registry office wedding as a small child - I can’t remember a thing but have seen the photographic evidence of me scowling whilst wearing a horrible outfit.

My other aunt married when I was a teen - she had a child free wedding which caused a huge family fallout - I’ve never met her children. Ridiculous!

I’ve been to 3 of my friends hen do’s.

I went to an evening reception of an old school friend/neighbour in my early twenties. I went to a full day/evening wedding of a friend in my late twenties and another in my early thirties. I attended my sisters wedding late thirties and that’s it.

One friend got married abroad but I was pregnant, in the middle of buying a house and could not afford to attend.

Also never the bridesmaid, never the bride and never been engaged either.

Attended 4 funerals.

FloraGreysteel · 16/01/2020 10:34

I'm older than you (53) and I've been to one - and they were only getting married so that they could live in college rooms. I only know one married couple; everyone else is in a LTR. Me and my partner are getting a civil partnership this November.

npowerarebastards · 16/01/2020 10:35

I'm 40 and I've only been to a few. Two friends got married but the rest haven't bothered or are mum friends who were married before I met them.

My brother and sister both unmarried as am I!

Yokohamajojo · 16/01/2020 11:23

I am mid-40s and have been to about 15, only been to one hen do though. We have now starting to go to second marriages so some of the weddings we have been to groom or brides wedding before

My first wedding I attended was my parents when I was 8 months old.

Original poster

MooKnee · 16/01/2020 19:58

I’ve been to a few hen do’s (the friends who got married abroad) so I didn’t miss those

OP posts:

Equimum · 16/01/2020 20:07

I’ve been to six, plus a few evening do’s when I was a kid.

I don’t have loads of friends, and most of my cousins had small weddings, so we were only invited to the evening event.

I’ve never been on a hen do, but I have been to about seven Christenings, which seems a bit odd as we’re not really religious!

I have also never been to a church funeral or burial, only cremations.

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