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Am I being mean to my friend if I don't want to look after her child?

127 replies

Bobewing · 13/01/2020 12:42

Hello,
Try to cut a long story short. I've known my friend for 10 years, we first met when our children were at nursery. Two years later I lost my husband and it was then just me and my four year old. Shortly after this happened I went on a night out with my friend and her husband and a few others. She asked her husband to walk me home. I really don't remember who invited who in (drunk too much) but he stayed and we talked and listened to music. Nothing at all happened. I said to him you must go - this was say 4am - he went and although nothing had happened I knew it wasn't the ideal thing to have done. I apologised etc. She kept her cool but it came to be that I would look after her two children every Friday after school while she was at work. I did this for two years - they are not easy children. So in my mind I have kind of made up for any mistakes I have made? However, she would now like me to pick up her 7 year old son from school most Wednesdays. I no longer have to be at school as my 11 year old walks home, plus he has afterschool football so I have a nice free afternoon. I don't get much free time being a widow doing everything by myself. I am really resentful of doing this, there are other mum's picking up their 7 year olds in the playground could they not grab him? Plus even his nan keeps saying no to having him and that she is going out? I like my friend very much and I'd like to say can I help in another way like looking after her cat. I don't seem to have the strength to say no though and I'm getting really annoyed with the situation. Please advise.

OP posts:
Noti23 · 16/01/2020 20:21

So your husband died and you ended up looking after HER children! If she were a good friend then she would have been supporting you with yours!!

squaky · 16/01/2020 21:00

Agree with @Noti23
She took advantage of someone vulnerable. She's a truly shitty person and I'd tell her to fuck off and block her.

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