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Original poster

Husband wants the snip...

60 replies

NoTeaForMe · 10/01/2020 12:25

I promised my husband I would look into this as he is very keen to go ahead and get it done and I have been reluctant. So where do I start....he’s so keen I think he’s not looking at any risks/bad sides to the procedure so I said I would look into it all too. Any advice from anyone who has been through it or is looking into it?
TIA

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 10/01/2020 12:27

Why isn't he looking into it? Tell him to go to his GP.
Many of my friend's husbands had it done and I believe that's what they did. By themselves.

Original poster
NoTeaForMe · 10/01/2020 12:30

Sorry, don’t think I was clear. He has looked into it all and researched online. He just wants my opinion too and obviously wouldn’t get it done if I wasn’t happy and on board so I’ve said I would look into it too. Especially as he is so keen to have it done that I worry he’s ignored any risks etc.

OP posts:
ChicCroissant · 10/01/2020 12:31

Where does it say that he has asked the OP to look in to it for him, Pipandmum?

He has looked into it and decided to go ahead, but the OP doesn't want him to so wants to dig up dirt she can use to change his mind? Is that an accurate summary, OP?

JKScot4 · 10/01/2020 12:33

Why do you not want him to get it? It’s a very very minor procedure, often done at your GP surgery.

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 10/01/2020 12:38

I looked into it after we had our final child.
I didn't like the risks and was happy to return to the contraception I had used between our planned children.
My husband didn't mind and was happy to go if told.
We also discussed that in the event of an unplanned pregnancy I was more than happy for an abortion.

However. I know 6 men who have had the procedure and highly recommend it. One was in work that night.

InAPrettyCabinet · 10/01/2020 12:48

Has he spoken to his gp? My husband was one of the last to have a vasectomy on the nhs in our trust as they've stopped providing them. In fact most trusts in our area don't fund them anymore. Just worth a thought

Damntheman · 10/01/2020 12:54

My husband did it after I was told I shouldn't get pregnant again by doctors. It was a bit sore for a few days, felt a little wierd when running for a few weeks (not painful but odd), and now is totally fine. He wasn't out of action at all, just couldn't lift anything heavy for a couple of days on doctor's orders. It's a very minor procedure.

Hoik · 10/01/2020 13:02

I was the same as Damntheman, strongly advised never to get pregnant again so DH had the snip to make sure the risk of it ever happening is at the bare minimum. He was a bit sore and swollen for a few days and couldn't lift anything heavy, got a very small infection at the incision site that needed antibiotic cream, and was absolutely fine. He had two clear samples six weeks apart and were had no contraception worries or pregnancy scares. Best decision he ever made.

weegiemum · 10/01/2020 13:03

My dh had a vasectomy after our 3rd dc. Procedure on a Friday, relatively easy weekend "no jumping on daddy!" And back to work Monday.

He's a GP, knew the risks/benefits and said it was a no-brained. We had dc3 due to mirena failure and didn't want to trust to that again. I'd produced 3 babies, he was very clear that it was "his turn".

Drum2018 · 10/01/2020 13:08

Dh had it. He did have lower abdominal soreness for some time afterwards and went to gp about it but he kind of fobbed it off. I'd had 4 sections and had done my time with contraception so he was happy to have it done - had talked about it after 3rd child but didn't go so he was quick to get it done after 4th was born!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/01/2020 13:11

DH had it about 2 years ago. I react badly to hormonal contraception, so we can only use barrier. We had conceived our 2DDs very easily. He was clear he wanted no more. No complications relating to the op... But the healing provided a vital clue for an undiagnosed health problem, which is now fully treated.

The only side effect... I struggled emotionally knowing that there could be no more DC, despite not wanting another baby.

Original poster
NoTeaForMe · 10/01/2020 13:11

I have struggled with the finality of it to be honest but I have come to terms with the fact that we won’t have any more children and am genuinely finally ok with that. Now I just want to make sure this is the right step for us.
I was under the impression there’s no point going to the GP as they no longer find it and therefore you need to go private regardless.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoTeaForMe · 10/01/2020 13:12

Aroundtheworld I do think that will be a side effect for me too!

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 10/01/2020 13:14

DH had his in March. He was sore in the evening when the anaesthetic wore off. He cycled again 2 days later, was skiing 3 weeks after.

He hasn't had any problems.

His cousin had his around the same time (they were discussing it at a family do) and was also fine.

I asked him to as I hate taking hormones and got worried about my coil slipping.

MinnieMountain · 10/01/2020 13:16

A plus is having sex knowing you don't need any temporary contraceptives. The wait for the all clear (I think it was 12 weeks before he could get tested) was annoying though.

Deadringer · 10/01/2020 13:18

My dh got it done a few years ago no issues at all, he is not generally particularly brave and has a needle phobia but it was his suggestion so we went with it. Good on him for taking responsibility.

LER83 · 10/01/2020 13:22

My husband had it done shortly after our 3rd dc. All was fine, home pretty much straight after. Was a bit sore for a few days, milked ot a bit for sympathy (he got none!). And then after a couple of weeks was all back to normal. I do feel a bit sad towards it though, as it's very final, even though I 100% don't want anymore children! I suppose like with anything you always think of the what ifs and what could have beens!

AgnusandMagnus · 10/01/2020 13:22

The risks are hell of a lot less than giving birth!

picklemepopcorn · 10/01/2020 13:23

It's far safer than the procedures women undergo!

Saladd0dger · 10/01/2020 13:24

My husband had it done after we decided our family was complete. Honestly it was the best thing we have ever done. No more contraception messing with my body yay

bonzo77 · 10/01/2020 13:32

DH had it done. He was very very sore for a least 3 weeks, and a bit sore for another month or so. But totally fine now and well worth it. Hormonal contraceptives turn me into a depressed angry cow. And I got sepsis when my coil moved. We both hate condoms and are done with kids after 3 of them.

Best thing ever. Worry free spontaneous shagging. Even with 3 children in the house.

VerySale · 10/01/2020 14:07

DP has just been referred so some areas are still doing it on the NHS. His GP can refer.

eminencegrise · 10/01/2020 14:11

My DH had it. It's his body! He decides. We have 3 but our last has HFA. No issues at all with it. I also got pregnant with DC3 with a Mirena. It's been great!

Original poster
NoTeaForMe · 12/01/2020 11:41

eminencegrise not sure I agree with that to be honest. His decision to have it done massively affects me and our family, so I don’t see why I shouldn’t have a say. He is completely happy and respectfully making sure I’m on board before doing such a huge thing.

OP posts:
eminencegrise · 12/01/2020 14:08

You believe you have the right to veto someone else's reproductive autonomy? Wow. SO glad actually, in law, in medicine, you don't 'have a say' except if he gives it to you. I mean, can you imagine? 'No hormonal contraceptives for you, Mrs X, your h says it will affect him and his family, he deserves a say' 'No termination for you, Miss Y, your partner says it will massively affect him'. People do not exist to provide others with children.

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