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Original poster

Husband wants the snip...

60 replies

NoTeaForMe · 10/01/2020 12:25

I promised my husband I would look into this as he is very keen to go ahead and get it done and I have been reluctant. So where do I start....he’s so keen I think he’s not looking at any risks/bad sides to the procedure so I said I would look into it all too. Any advice from anyone who has been through it or is looking into it?
TIA

OP posts:

Insaneinthemembury · 12/01/2020 14:11

DH had it done. It was a non-event, he was in and out within half an hour and felt fine.

Now we dont have to worry about getting pregnant! Highly recommend it here.

Whenisitbedtime · 12/01/2020 14:13

DP had it done yesterday. We were back in the car in half an hour! It was done on the NHS - we are in Surrey.
He’s a bit uncomfortable but that’s it. Going back into work on Monday.

Topseyt · 12/01/2020 14:22

My DH had it done years ago after our third DD was born. We both knew we didn't want any more babies. It was his decision to get it done. I wouldn't have forced the issue, but we were agreed that I had taken enough hormonal contraception over the years so I should stop that. It was his turn to do something about it and he did.

There were no problems. In and out within an hour I think. A bit sore for a few days and nothing else. I used the pill again just for a few months until we knew he was clear and then stopped it. That was that.

AutumnRose1 · 12/01/2020 14:26

If he’s happy, then what are you “looking into”?

SilverySurfer · 12/01/2020 14:34

Totally agree with eminencegrise Personally I think it's no-one else's business what one chooses to do with one's own body.

CharlotteMD · 12/01/2020 15:07

Vasectomy carries a 10% risk of PVPS , frequently untreatable. A further 15% suffer discomfort/pain of some sort within 0-3 months. Don't trivialize the risks. They are very real.

dementedpixie · 12/01/2020 15:12

We're in Scotland and dh self referred for his vasectomy. It was still done on the nhs. He was tender for a few days but close fitting pants helped.

PhoneLock · 12/01/2020 15:19

Vasectomy carries a 10% risk of PVPS , frequently untreatable. A further 15% suffer discomfort/pain of some sort within 0-3 months. Don't trivialize the risks. They are very real.

I made this point in another thread on the snip. I got my arse handed to me on a plate!

Original poster

NoTeaForMe · 12/01/2020 15:30

What is PVPS Charlotte and PhoneLock?

I actually think within a healthy “normal” marriage it is totally right that decisions around whether you have more children or not is made as a couple. If he was desperate for more children and I went to get sterilised i would expect him to be very angry and hurt by that. This is only the same. He agrees it’s a joint decision as much as it can be.

OP posts:

PhoneLock · 12/01/2020 15:32

What is PVPS Charlotte and PhoneLock?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-vasectomy_pain_syndrome

Original poster

NoTeaForMe · 12/01/2020 15:38

PhoneLock thank you. I google PVPS and nothing Relevant came up! Do you know if this is any lower with the non scalpel route?

OP posts:

DecisioNN · 12/01/2020 15:44

@NoTeaForMe

The thing is, it sounds like your not 100% sure you don’t want more children. If seems like your looking for a reason for him not to have it.

Tell him if you’re not sure. From my basic understanding, having the snip is a pretty basic procedure.

PhoneLock · 12/01/2020 15:45

Do you know if this is any lower with the non scalpel route?

I'm sorry I don't, but I wouldn't have thought it would make much difference. The problems seem to be caused by the back pressure created because the tubes are blocked.

BrokenWing · 12/01/2020 15:47

Did he go and look into the risks associated with your pregnancies/births as much before you both decided to have children?

If you are in agreement you definitely want no more children and he has looked into it online and researched/accepted the risks I don't see why you need to do your own research. It sounds like you don't trust him to make decisions about his own health. If he wants to discuss the risks he has found fair enough discuss what he has found in a 'how do you feel about that?', 'do you think you should talk to a professional?' kind of way.

It is his body, his decision.

Fishcakey · 12/01/2020 15:49

Best thing DH ever did!

SilverySurfer · 12/01/2020 16:07

There are threads on here where the woman is pregnant and the man is pushing for a termination or vice versa, 100% of the replies will effectively be your body your choice. How is this any different?

WildfirePonie · 12/01/2020 16:10

DH had one last year, he was in pain for the first week and stayed in bed with ice packs, after another 2 weeks he was able to get up but took it really easy. I'm amazed when I hear of other men that go to work the next day etc as he was unable to move! I guess it's different for everyone but it was worth the pain

Ginfordinner · 12/01/2020 18:52

How many children do you have, and do you work?

Original poster

NoTeaForMe · 13/01/2020 15:43

How is whether I work relevant? @Ginfordinner

I’m sorry but surely having or not having children is a decision to make as a couple? Yes, when push comes to shove it’s the individuals decision but on the whole it’s to be discussed at the least?

OP posts:

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/01/2020 15:55

My DP had this done a year ago. Best decision ever.

Minor OP, follow advice (he didn't, typical) and all should be fine within a couple of days.

If he's happy to have it done, not sure what your objections are? You say you've accepted that you won't have any more children.

And yes, first stop GP, they will refer.

NameChangeNugget · 13/01/2020 16:05

I asked DH not to have it. It’s a risky procedure.

no other operation performed on humans even approaches the degree and duration of multiple immunologic responses that occur in the post-vasectomy state

janj2301 · 13/01/2020 18:13

My husband wouldn't so i had my tubes tied, much worse. So go for it

OneForMeToo · 13/01/2020 19:10

Dh has his done in November last year. Done in a Thursday on the nhs and back to work the following morning. In fact he drove home since I don’t drive. They recommend taking someone with you, he had the no scalpel one. Gave him a cup of tea after and then we left, popped into Aldi then he drove home. Got to wait till March to test to see if it’s worked. He took painkillers for 48hours after as recommended by the doctor on the basis of its much easier to stop it from hurting to start with than to stop bad pain. He had a dull ache randomly for about a week then fine. We also waited a week before engaging in sex and everything is working like it should.

Dozer · 13/01/2020 19:12

Understandable to discuss contraception options. Weird that you’re researching this one for him. His body, he would be the one taking the risks of the procedure and whose fertility would be stopped, so he should do the research and inform himself.

Dozer · 13/01/2020 19:13

Did he research any contraception (other than condoms) that you’ve used during your relationship, eg the pill? Doubt it.

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