Awkward Facebook Situation

[Noducks]

I am FB friends with my friend's husband, but not with her as she is not on FB.
I rarely comment on his threads but I do read them. And the comments.

He is currently on holiday without my friend. She is used to this and I don't think it bothers her too much. Various reasons as to why not but not relevant to this post.

FB husband never mentions anything personal. It's all general stuff and he never refers to my friend at all. She is a very private person, so I think that makes sense.

My problem is that another FB friend of his - whom I dont know- has made a couple of personal comments in threads that didn't warrant that kind of response.

1. She has dropped in that my friend is not with him. I know he keeps it quiet when he holidays alone and most people think she is with him. So, she has let the cat out of bag there. He subsequently deleted the whole thread.

1. She made a very strange comment, totally out the blue and wasnt connected to anything he had said that he should 'enjoy his surroundings whilst it lasts!!!xxxx'.

I couldn't help but think that was a very loaded comment, but I'm not sure if Im reading too much into it. It sounded like- enjoy your time away until you return to your unhappy marriage.
I thought maybe I was reading too much into it, but then noticed it had been deleted a few hours later.

The comments have made me feel suspicious about what is going on. I've never noticed any inappropriate comments in the past, but these comments have stood out as being very personal and detrimental to my friend.

Do I tell my friend about them? I'm torn between thinking she should be aware, but not wanting to stir things up needlessly.

Am I reading too much into it? The deletions have made me even more concerned.

Anyone got any advice?

No you are not being protective of her OP. You’re sticking your nose into something that doesn’t concern you.
Get a life and get off of Facebook!

Maybe he changed the privacy settings or deleted as he realised that the intrusive friend was going to expect some sort of public interaction about his wife that he wasn't prepared to have. I'd actually read it that he was respecting his wife's lack of use of FB, if anything. But I don't think I'd usually look for meaning beyond a few nice pictures.

Trust your gut feeling, don't say anything now but be on the alert for anything further in the future

And maybe get off mumsnet too, if posting about a genuine concern is seen as such a problem?

I was looking for objective viewpoints, but some of you are treating me as i have nothing better to do than peer at FB all day.

I posted for some constructive input, not lazy belittling comments.

No you are not being protective of her OP. You’re sticking your nose into something that doesn’t concern you.
Get a life and get off of Facebook!

What a nasty comment, is there really any need?

The safety aspect of advertising her being alone at home also bothered me.

Oh good grief.
A woman being alone in her own home is now a "safety" issue?
I'd better call the cops out, pronto.

As to whether this guy is up to shenanigans, & what you should do about it OP - you don't know anything, & DO NOTHING.
If his wife wants to follow his FB posts, that's up to her, not you. If she wants to read connotations nto comments or deletions, again - that's up to her.
You will only make trouble, possibly within her marriage, definitely within her friendship with you, if you say anything to her.

He probably just blocked that friend. If you are on as his friend, why not have a nose around for anything suspicious. Not digging much but have a quick look at the photos and a thread or two.

You sound switched on and smart and would know all the details and your own gut feeling better than anyone on here.

Don’t think there’s much you can do unless something obvious happens.

Short of setting up a fake Facebook profile, asking him if he wants his dick sucked and his hotel room number, to see if he replies, I don’t think there’s much you can do to prove it 🧐

Definitely not my friend in disguise!
And, yes, my gut feeling is making me feel very uneasy, which Ive never had before with any interaction on FB.

The enjoy it while it lasts comment could mean nothing, it is a common thing to say. Or it could be a dig at his wife, enjoy being alone while it lasts (which he might have thought people would think she meant, and didn’t think was a fair comment so deleted the thread completely). 🙂

I dont think keeping it quiet that a person is on their own for weeks is being dramatic. Its just common sense. To my mind, anyway.

Screenshot it just in case if you feel at unease but don’t show it to anyone! 😂

There's nothing to screenshot anymore.

I dont think keeping it quiet that a person is on their own for weeks is being dramatic. Its just common sense.

Is it?
I spend 52 weeks a year on my own.
Have I taken leave of my common sense by allowing any other human to know this?
Should I start hiding in the cellar?

Lazy?! We don't work for you!

You sound lovely...

I think you should trust your gut feeling. I agree it does seem suspicious with the deletions.

That said I would keep quiet for a number of reasons.

1. If your friend wanted to see his facebook activity she could join facebook
2. Telling your friend your suspicions may impact your friendship with her.
3. It could be innocent - we don't really know

I would forget about it and simply be there for your friend if any of your suspicions come to be real.

Really ?? Think your over thinking

If they take separate holidays, that's their own business. If you friend is very private, why are you gossiping about her marriage on Mumsnet?

@Noducks I mean if it happens again.

Ummm "enjoy it whilst its lasts".
Regardless of who you are with.
Before you go back to work. Normality. Mundane shit like missed parcels.

Reading way too much into it.

Sigh.
Im sure most knew what I meant when I referenced lazy belittling insults.

And, yes, if you habitually live on your own, there is no hiding that. But why draw attention to the fact that a house usually occupied by a couple now just has one person in it? That's the point I was making.

I've not mentioned her marriage. I've been asking about FB and deletions and my reaction to them.

Sigh.

OP: Am I reading too much into it?

MN: Um... yes

OP: LAZY BELITTING INSULTS, HOW DARE YOU

Do you make a point of advertising it on social media messolini9?
Your choice ofc, but I wouldn't.
Maybe it depends where you live and on your life experiences.
Burglary is quite common in my area. Maybe less so in yours?

I really think you’re worrying about nothing. It’s no big deal that people know he’s away without her, so what if there’s only one person at home. And enjoy it while it lasts I’d exactly the sort of thing I’d post about a winter holiday away from grey, gloomy January. If she’d posted enjoy your marriage while it lasts that would be a bit more of a worry!