Awkward Facebook Situation

[Noducks]

I am FB friends with my friend's husband, but not with her as she is not on FB.
I rarely comment on his threads but I do read them. And the comments.

He is currently on holiday without my friend. She is used to this and I don't think it bothers her too much. Various reasons as to why not but not relevant to this post.

FB husband never mentions anything personal. It's all general stuff and he never refers to my friend at all. She is a very private person, so I think that makes sense.

My problem is that another FB friend of his - whom I dont know- has made a couple of personal comments in threads that didn't warrant that kind of response.

1. She has dropped in that my friend is not with him. I know he keeps it quiet when he holidays alone and most people think she is with him. So, she has let the cat out of bag there. He subsequently deleted the whole thread.

1. She made a very strange comment, totally out the blue and wasnt connected to anything he had said that he should 'enjoy his surroundings whilst it lasts!!!xxxx'.

I couldn't help but think that was a very loaded comment, but I'm not sure if Im reading too much into it. It sounded like- enjoy your time away until you return to your unhappy marriage.
I thought maybe I was reading too much into it, but then noticed it had been deleted a few hours later.

The comments have made me feel suspicious about what is going on. I've never noticed any inappropriate comments in the past, but these comments have stood out as being very personal and detrimental to my friend.

Do I tell my friend about them? I'm torn between thinking she should be aware, but not wanting to stir things up needlessly.

Am I reading too much into it? The deletions have made me even more concerned.

Anyone got any advice?

Thanks. This nosey bastard ( no need for that, btw) will keep quiet.

I was asking for advice, no need to add abuse.

Yes, I know him. Not closely though.

Perhaps he felt the comments were odd too and deleted the whole thread. Perhaps he was aware of the risk of people making random assumptions/accusations - this doesn’t seem an unfair concern on his part given the questions you are raising. The best way to save yourself further angst would be to silence his posts on FB, then you simply wouldn’t see them and would have no dilemmas regarding them

I did not read it that way at all, I read it as maybe he does not want people commenting on their relationship, and at worst the friend is being judgmental about him being away without her. Just ask your friend when you see her next how she is, how are things with x, if she wants to tell you of any problems she will. Do you have specific concerns?

This is something I say. Things like " enjoy while it lasts. Enjoy it while you can. Enjoy and have fun. Enjoy the lovely place" etc all I mean is enjoy the holiday. Enjoy the weather. Enjoy the country. Enjoy yourself. Nothing sinister.

I wouldn't get involved I don't think, none of it is clear cut and now it's been deleted you can't even show her....it might be nothing?

She made a very strange comment, totally out the blue and wasnt connected to anything he had said that he should 'enjoy his surroundings whilst it lasts!!!xxxx'.

If that is the comment more or less verbatim it sounds totally benign.

I think you must be suffering from post-Christmas ennui.

I hope it is nothing.
Just something set off an uneasy feeling.

OP, it lo0o0ks dodgy but you can't say anything because you don't know if anything is going on.

It's incredible what some people post. Things like "We're at the airport waiting for our flight to 2 weeks of sunshine"

can you just unfriend him?

Perhaps he is cautious about not wanting it obvious his wife is home alone on FB ... we don’t post our holiday snaps and I never mention my husband working away .

Perhaps this person is trying to cause trouble , perhaps there is something going on .

There is so little here to work with though that I think you just need to leave it alone .

The wife isnt on FB , so I wouldn't report back on something I read on there. If it was a conversation or I saw the husband up to no good I would think differently.
I came off FB a long time ago because of this 'reading' something Into what maybe be nothing and just generally not being slightly interested in what people had to say or 'show.' She may be the same and happier to leave the FB goings on in FB .

*On FB

You might be right. There may be 'something' going on - I trust my gut. It might be nothing.

But. In reality there is not enough for you to do anything about. If there is 'something' - he can easily make you look paranoid and interfering and it won't do you any favours. It's not enough to take to your friend.

Something of nothing. If I were you I'd just unfollow him on FB and forget all about it.

Could it be that he doesn’t mention being away on his own because his wife makes things difficult?

My DP’s ex used to beg and plead him to book holidays and weekends away, sometimes with friends even and then days before they were meant to go she would start to say that she wasn’t up to it and they should stay home.

Sometimes they did, and he would have to make up some excuse as to why they couldn’t go, but ultimately everyone knew, and when he talked about going away no-one was ever surprised when they didn’t.

But sometimes it became too much for him and he went without her. He didn’t make a big song and dance about it because then the reasons might become more apparent.

But people who knew him, knew. Iyswim.

I think it could be innocent. Vacations are always supposed to be something you enjoy more than everyday life

I think he is dodgy as fck but I also think its none of your business.

The fact he keeps deleting comments is bizarre and why doesnt he just block all comments if his life is so private and he doesnt want people to know. I would definitely assume something weird is gong on here. That said, his wife knows full well he is away and she knows he is on facebook. If she wanted to she could look at facebook any time she chooses to. So I would really keep out of this- all you know at this stage is some weird comments have been made, its not like you caught him with his trousers down with a naked woman. You have nothing concrete to take to your friend so at this point I would stay out of it and leave well alone.

You mentioned that they never go on holiday together, I do think it’s relevant.

Why don’t they go? I am assuming mental or physical health reasons rather than discord.

"Enjoy it while it lasts" isn't really a positive comment, though - at best, it's trying to rain on someone's parade. It's not at all like "have a great time" or whatever as some PP are stating, and frankly, I think it's both weird and negative to post it in response to someone else's holiday updates.

I don't think it's sinister, though.

They do go together on holiday, but he gets an extra holiday on his own at times. She couldn't make this one due to her own commitments this month.

I am probably reading too much into it. Just wanted to garner opinions.

The safety aspect of advertising her being alone at home also bothered me. Both of them are pretty safety conscious. And Im sure this woman knows this. It struck me as a deliberate spoke in the wheel comment about my friend not being there.

Maybe Im just being too protective of her.

hhhhmmm I don't know, i'd find that a bit suspicious too tbh but I'm not sure It's enough to tell your friend incase it is nothing because you could start problems in her marriage for no reason and your relationship with her and her DH could suffer irreparably

I think the enjoy it while it lasts comment is probably a reference to the weather being fucking miserable here and him coming home to it soon. I'm looking out of my window right now and can imagine saying similar. Maybe with "you lucky bastard" at the end

Any chance this "friend" you dont no could actually be his wife and you have stubbled upon a "domestic" between husband and wife?