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Original poster

Has anyone been tempted to runaway on a luxury hols for one?

67 replies

Carmenera · 30/12/2019 21:49

I’m seriously considering booking a holiday and escaping my life for a week. I haven’t discussed this with my husband yet... I love my children 2 and 4 years old but haven’t had a break from them since either was born. My husband is hands on but it’s just the two of us and our relationship as man and woman’s is non existent. I work hard and have been suffering from depression for years now and just really need some me time or I might just lose my mind. I often find excuses just to be alone I even pull sick days from work so that I can get some peace. I desperately crave some peace and quiet and some time to think. I have no immediate family to help out and my friends are too busy to offer a hand. I feel guilty but I also feel as if some distance from me and my kids is what I really need :(

OP posts:
Jupiters · 30/12/2019 21:51

I've got one booked, to Thailand, in a few weeks. I really just need some time and space (both myself and DH are introverts). We don't have children so it is a lot easier to take some time for myself.

Original poster
Carmenera · 30/12/2019 21:59

Good for you I dream of spending time alone. I’ve always enjoyed my me time but that went out the window after having children. Thailand is gorgeous I’ve been a few times you will have a wonderful time x

OP posts:
leapinglucy · 30/12/2019 22:11

Wait, you want to abandon your (very young) kids and OH to go off on a jolly on your own?Hmm

Original poster
Carmenera · 30/12/2019 22:30

Yes that’s exactly what I would like to do. My husband has been away twice now once on a stag and another time with his father and both trips did him the world of good. I know my children might miss me but I really feel as if I don’t press pause and recharge I’ll never get out of this slump.

OP posts:
FurryTurnipHead · 30/12/2019 22:33

If you can do it, then you should. I think it sounds fantastic. I'm thinking of doing the same, though on a much smaller scale, cheap night at a Premier Inn, but time to think my own thoughts, sleep, read and recharge my batteries.

Original poster
Carmenera · 30/12/2019 22:36

I’ve often thought I would like to check in to our local premier inn just for a night of sleep. Thank you for not judging me and good on you for finding some time to think on your own thoughts.

OP posts:
milkjetmum · 30/12/2019 22:43

This feeling is my indicator that my depression is flaring up in a bad way. Useful warning sign for me now to think about what is 'really' bothering me.

In the past bad old days these thoughts would progress from let's run off to a nice holiday to let's just run off anywhere else to thoughts of suicide being better for everyone else around me.

So just wanted to say take care of yourself, and that a visit to gp might be worth considering. For me medication worked to take the immediate edge off things, and CBT was the real longer term answer. Well worth having private CBT if you can afford it or otherwise getting on the list via gp. People will definitely not be happier without you Flowers

supercee · 30/12/2019 22:43

For the sake of your mental health and well-being it sounds great. What use are you as a mum and partner if you are barely existing as a person with no chance of a break.

You are hardly bouncing off with your mates to Benidorm on a two week piss up. No one raises eyebrows or accuses anyone of abandoning their kids when men go off on stags, work trips etc.

sandyfoot · 30/12/2019 22:54

@leapinglucy that's really harsh. She's not abandoning her kids, she's dreaming about taking some time out. Jeezo, it's like the 1900s.

OP - If it's affordable and your partner can cover things go for it. I wish wish wish I could.

Original poster
Carmenera · 30/12/2019 22:57

Thank you @milkjetmum I agree this is an indicator that my depression is flaring. I’m already on 40 mg Prozac and have tried CBT which did seem to help initially but juggling a career and kids makes it hard to make appointments. I just feel as if a good old fashioned retreat with space to breath could help. I don’t want to hurt myself I want to heal myself as cheesy as that may sound

OP posts:
Original poster
Carmenera · 30/12/2019 23:01

@supercee I’m faking it everyday and it’s exhausting thank you for understanding x

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 30/12/2019 23:03

My kids are much older (teens) but when they were young we got a couple of weekends a year away on our own and my parents would babysit. Even now I go away for 2 nights a year (alone) just to get some space and to do all the things I enjoy without compromising!

ElloBrian · 30/12/2019 23:12

Do it, OP. It is really necessary to create space in life to have these kinds of breaks. There are no prizes for competitive martyrdom, no matter what some posters Hmm might say. Look after yourself and you will be in better shape to look after your children. Be kind to yourself.

IdblowJonSnow · 30/12/2019 23:20

Go! And if you cant go for a week go somewhere for 3 or 4 days instead. I have 'abandoned' (please!!) my children for a couple of days every other year. My husband agrees it's really important and does the same.
Hope you feel better soon. Parenthood is relentless.

user764329056 · 30/12/2019 23:22

Do it, you’re thinking positively about taking action to protect your mental health from further deterioration, it’s a brief interlude to put on the brakes and could have great long-term benefits, your other half has had 2 breaks, you deserve your own time out

LBOCS2 · 31/12/2019 00:24

I found 2 and 4 to be really intense, needy ages. Lovely, but touchy and quite hard work. I can completely understand the need to get a bit of space to yourself, if you can afford it and it will work for your family then why not?

BitchyArriver · 31/12/2019 00:26

Fucking do it OP

Holidazes · 31/12/2019 00:30

I did it OP!! I took myself off to OZ for 2 weeks and left dd4 and ds2 with dh!!! Best thing I ever did!! I got back to me and had a complete recharge!! I have NC’d for this post!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 31/12/2019 04:05

I go on holiday alone at least twice a year. I go to my Happy Place - it's far from luxury, I go camping in an eco-pod like a little hobbit house, no electricity, cook over an open fire, no WiFi, just perfect peace. My youngest son used to come with me, but he's a teenager now so I go alone. I take a stack of books and colouring books, a large umbrella, and I literally just sit and daydream for as long as I am there.
I can feel all the stress melt away, and it is bliss.
Even if I can only get away for two or three nights, it is heavenly.

HerRoyalNotness · 31/12/2019 04:08

Yes, I did, when we were having some troubles. I went to the Cayman Is for a week. Stayed with friends and went on the town and not one care in the world. I wish I could have stayed forever

Downunderduchess · 31/12/2019 04:25

I checked in to an amazing 5 star hotel recently for a couple of nights. Swam, watched movies, read my book, ate a lot of really good food from room service. And I’m single! I left feeling refreshed & relaxed. Whenever I told anyone where I was going they were totally envious, thought it was genius. We all need self care. Take the time out.

pintoffginplz · 31/12/2019 05:12

I've just booked my fourth weekend away I only go max a few hours drive away ( my youngest has autism so I don't like being too far away from him). I call them my mental health check In. I'm a single mum and absolutely love going off alone, having some much needed me time with peace and quite. It does make me laugh how many people go ShockShock when you say your going on your own, I'm a proper loner haha

So do it! Book the holiday! Grin

pollywobble · 31/12/2019 05:15

I did have some time away (Hay on Wye Book Festival) when my daughter was 2, it did help my low mood but it helped me more to have a regular half day mid-week to myself when my daughter was at pre-school. I just had a bit of a lie in, did some excercise and had some nice lunch, it was like a little holiday each week.

pollywobble · 31/12/2019 05:18

To be fair I had regular breaks alone before I had my daughter, I've always enjoyed them

JolieOBrien · 31/12/2019 05:21

@Carmenera

Yes if I had enough cash.

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