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Original poster

How honest are you with your teens about your raving days?

77 replies

RobertSmithdoesmyhair · 30/12/2019 21:24

I spent most of the 90s raving and taking all kinds of drugs. The best days of my life! My teens, now 18 and 17, ask me what I was like (I think they suspect from photos Grin) and I have told them that all I did was smoke an occasional spliff and nothing else! I don't think they believe me! Do your teens know what a tearaway you were, or does what happened in the 90s stay in the 90s?! Wink

OP posts:
DreamingofSunshine · 30/12/2019 21:30

My parents were quite honest about their drug taking in their youth, especially about a friend who ODed and others who ended up being wasters just sitting around smoking weed. Can't say it made me want to do it more and I respected them for being honest.

ChristineKeeler · 30/12/2019 21:33

I was the same as you OP, have twins of 17, wouldn't tell them what I did drug wise but they do know about the raving.

Woeisme99 · 30/12/2019 21:36

I'm not quite there yet with dc as they are young, but will tell them I experimented etc, and give them some horrow stories of old friends who are now dead / fucked up because of it all.

Won't tell them I took everything I could get my hands on every weekend for years and made loads of dangerous and ridiculous choices.

MaureenSowerbutts · 30/12/2019 21:38

I was exactly the same as you and dds know nothing of it, they are 16 and 13.

I also left school early without qualifications due to a family break down. I have a great job now though due to sheer hard graft, they have no idea about that either.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 30/12/2019 23:04

Very honest. I see no point in lying. Honesty is best surely.

Paddy1234 · 30/12/2019 23:05

Holy bejesus no 😂

Doggodogington · 30/12/2019 23:09

Nope, I won’t be telling mine.

thenightsky · 30/12/2019 23:11

Definitely keeping my mouth shut on this one! Jeez.

LuluBellaBlue · 30/12/2019 23:12

I’ve told my 16 yr old son everything - luckily and hopefully because of our honesty he’s anti alcohol, drugs, cigarettes the lot!

bert3400 · 30/12/2019 23:13

We've been fairly open with our 17DS. Such as telling him - "we have been around the block and if you need to know anything about any drugs, we've probably tried them."

We want him to be honest with us and also for it to be in the open if he does start experimenting, he can ask for advice. So far I don't think he's done anything apart from Nox and I'm pretty intuitive so would know if he had.
He is also very sporty and about to compete in the US, so have warned him about drug testing over there - hopefully will scare the bejesus out of him not to touch anything over New Year.

velocitygirl7 · 30/12/2019 23:20

I've lied Blush
I have a very open & honest relationship with both my teens but they both think I'm a well rounded, sensible but fun example of a person (which I am!!) and I don't want them ever thinking that taking shit loads of speed & ecstasy is a fun or smart idea.
I was lucky, I had some amazing experiences, I wouldn't change a thing but I know I was dam lucky that I came out the other side totally unscathed. My dc might not be as fortunate and for that reason I have chosen to not tell them the truth.

Original poster
RobertSmithdoesmyhair · 30/12/2019 23:56

velocitygirl7
Exactly where I am at!! I took copious amounts of drugs every weekend - ecstacy, speed, mushrooms, acid and any number of homegrown weeds/grass. Not sure I want them to know the details!!

OP posts:
1300cakes · 31/12/2019 00:04

I doubt it will even come up, are teens that interested?

Things I've never heard -
Teen: Mum and dad, please tell me some stories about your lives, I want to know everything.

Things I've often heard -
Teen: (tells one hour story about own life)... Now can I borrow the car, great thanks bye.

AutumnRose1 · 31/12/2019 00:14

OP many of my friends with children have this issue

The consensus seems to be tell the truth if asked.

starflake · 31/12/2019 00:35

@1300cakes 😂😂 so true

EmmiJay · 31/12/2019 00:46

I was just discussing this the other day. DM has let slip some info over the years (after I turned 20ish, mind you) and I've loved all the juicy gossip. I feel like when my DD is older I'm going to be completely honest and tell her the censored versions of my life stories. I kind of dug my own hole when it comes to tattoos and piercings because I have both and she will probably ask for them all😬🤣

UptightFunk · 31/12/2019 00:51

I knew my dad did loads of drugs in the 60s. My mum was the opposite, she nibbled a space cake once and couldn't cope!

Knowing my dad was like that meant it wasn't that exciting for me and I was never really interested. My friends who's parents were strict or 'disgusted' by drugs took everything they could get their hands on (my husband included!).

With our kids we've decided to be honest if they ask. Say we did experiment but later in uni and mainly in our 20s and talk about drugs safety.

Usually kids do the opposite to rebel so hoping telling them makes it less likely they'll want to....

JockTamsonsBairns · 31/12/2019 01:00

I wouldn't have told my ds1 when he was 16/17, as that kind of felt a bit irresponsible - like I was legitimising it in some way? He's 21 now, in his final year of university, and an amateur DJ - so he knows what goes on in nightclubs and at festivals. I've told him what I took as a youngster, and he seems to find that amusing - I don't really seem like "the type" any more.
As far as I'm aware, he doesn't have any sort of a habit, but I'd be naive to think he's never tried anything. I'd also like to think we're close enough that we could talk about stuff if he ever felt the need (he hasn't). Which is fine, it's part of growing up in my experience, and I'd hope he knows how to be safe.

velocitygirl7 · 31/12/2019 01:01

@1300cakes sadly not the case in my house! I'm generally considered to be 'cool' by my dc & their friends, for example they love all my old vinyl and will happily socialise with me & dh. In my defence I'm very much a parent first, I am their friend but that comes second to me being 'mum'
They are both genuinely interested in my youth, I went to a lot of festivals, saw a lot of amazing bands etc and so we talk about what I got up to (well most of it Wink)

Ithinkwerealonenowtiffany · 31/12/2019 08:00

Well I’ll be very honest. As ive never smoked nor taken drugs. 😁

Fairylea · 31/12/2019 08:02

I never took drugs as such but I drank very heavily. To the point I was alcoholic I think and made some terrible decisions about my own safety. I’ve been very honest with dd aged 16. I think it’s really important - I want her to feel I’ve been there done that and that she can talk to me.

Echobelly · 31/12/2019 08:12

My mum was a 60s hippy and was very honest about her drug taking - she enjoyed it until she had a bad trip and didn't, and ultimately it made her quite anxious.

Our kids aren't quite old enough yet, but we will be honest when it comes to it. DH did more drugs than me, which is still not a whole lot (I think I took about half a pill maybe half a dozen times, coke and mushrooms once or twice, spliff a few dozen times over the years, still do it now and then). I also have a friend who died because of drugs (he took downers after uppers and his heart stopped) - and I know he wouldn't want anyone to stop taking them because of him, but I will tell my kids that in his memory, I would want them to be careful and never mix things like he did (and that includes drugs with lots of alcohol).

I'll be honest and say obviously, people take them because they have a good time, but there is a flip side that they can make depression and anxiety worse, and they shouldn't get reliant on them to have a good time/relax etc. I had plenty of great nights without them - often being about the only person not on anything, but I'm going to be realistic about the possibility of kids doing them. Mind you, seems to be right out of fashion with kids these days, and good on them!

MrsJBaptiste · 31/12/2019 08:47

Funnily enough, DS (15) was only asking yesterday whatvit feels like to be properly drunk and how much you have to drink before you're sick. He isn't interested at all in drinking (ever, he says but I'm sure this won't happen!) but I think he may go down the drugs route as that's the music he likes. God, if he mentions going to Sundissential one afternoon then I'll know exactly what's going on!

I haven't said anything and won't if at all possible but I suppose if it comes up as a 'proper' conversation then it's better for them to have the knowledge of drugs rather than be totally naive. They've changed so much since my youth though...

Clawdy · 31/12/2019 08:57

Have to say my kids were never that interested! Any stories of my or DH's wilder days tended to get a polite uninterested smile, or an indulgent eyeroll !

ExpletiveFairylighted · 31/12/2019 08:59

We're the opposite, never taken anything, never had friends that did (apart from the odd spliff), still don't as far as I know, I feel in some ways ill-prepared to support the DCs through this stage in life. We've talked in terms of the effect a drugs conviction can have on your career and ability to travel to the US etc as well as the health risks and the risks of making unwise choices (eg sex) while under the influence, but only time will tell whether they rebel.