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Original poster

How honest are you with your teens about your raving days?

77 replies

RobertSmithdoesmyhair · 30/12/2019 21:24

I spent most of the 90s raving and taking all kinds of drugs. The best days of my life! My teens, now 18 and 17, ask me what I was like (I think they suspect from photos Grin) and I have told them that all I did was smoke an occasional spliff and nothing else! I don't think they believe me! Do your teens know what a tearaway you were, or does what happened in the 90s stay in the 90s?! Wink

OP posts:
velocitygirl7 · 31/12/2019 09:10

@Echobelly sadly drugs are still very much part of a teenagers life, my dd is a drinker and not interested in drugs (a family member had a life changing injury after taking ecstasy so this has influenced her) but she talks openly about how prevalent it is amongst her friends.
Many of her friends take drugs such as mdma or coke on a night out and weed smoking seems the norm too.
I think the parents are oblivious, I know from experience that you can do a marvellous job of being a 'good' girl at home while being a total nightmare once out of your parents sight!
My parents used to boast about what a sensible girl I was and how lucky they were that I had such well behaved friends too Confused

RickOShay · 31/12/2019 09:17

Agree @velocitygirl7, drugs are very much around. A lot of ket and cocaine.
I have given 17 yo dd an edited version of my going out years Grin
When she is older I will give more detail!

velocitygirl7 · 31/12/2019 09:18

@RickOShay they are and shockingly cheap as well!

RickOShay · 31/12/2019 09:22

Yes!
And more available. I wasn’t offered coke until I moved away in my early twenties. We are in the sticks, and dd has had many opportunities to take some.

sarahjconnor · 31/12/2019 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bouledeneige · 31/12/2019 09:36

I wasn't a massive raver and didn't do tons of drugs but I did get up to all sorts. I've always been pretty honest with my DC. My DD was often talking about and asking my opinion on things like sex and drugs when she was a younger teen. As a result I was honest about some of the pitfalls which I saw as well as acknowledging the fun we had. Both my DC, 19 and 17, are now pretty honest about their own drug/alcohol consumption and generally about their love lives (though not all the gory details)!

CanICelebrate · 31/12/2019 09:40

My (very sensible) ds13 asked me recently if I’d ever done drugs and I lied and said no! I might have been more honest if he was older but there was no way he was going to find out about my partying days (although I’ve introduced them to the joys of house music and they know I used to go out and dance a lot so maybe he’ll put 2 and 2 together one day!)

buckeejit · 31/12/2019 09:53

Hmmm, ds is just turned 10 & I'm not sure what we'll tell him. Dh a lot more straight than I was & I couldn't risk him telling my mum what I used to do!

Interesting to see responses. I think ideally I'd like to be mostly honest. Know a few people who have died from drugs so really hoping my dc find another hobby & I'll be trying to push that angle as much as possible....

HulksPurplePanties · 31/12/2019 09:57

Mine are still young, but my DM was always very honest about her drug use when she was young and frankly her description of being on hallucinogens is why I've never tried them. So I expect I'll be as honest with my kids (I just won't have as many stories because my mother's scared me straight!)

Lllot5 · 31/12/2019 10:01

Blimey. I’ve never done anything so nothing to tell.
By the sounds of it I’m older than most of the respondents, just didn’t do anything wasn’t on my radar.

babbi · 31/12/2019 10:16

@Paddy1234 .... I’m with you 😂🤣😂🤣

Thesispieces · 31/12/2019 10:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Echobelly · 31/12/2019 10:36

@velocitygirl7 - my bro and sis did a lot more drugs than me, but we were all A-grade students and 'nice kids' It was just something we did rather than a lifestyle for all of us, I suppose.

velocitygirl7 · 31/12/2019 10:38

@Echobelly me too! My brother & I were angels, worked hard, no bother at home but we really knew how to party Grin

fedup21 · 31/12/2019 10:39

The consensus seems to be tell the truth if asked.

I reckon that depends on how old the children are. If they’re 17-no, if they’re 30, maybe.

I would say that amongst my friends, consensus is completely the opposite. Ours are 15-18 and we’ve all said no, we didn’t.

Fizzypoo · 31/12/2019 10:50

I'd like to say yes but when my DC asked me why I wasn't allowed to go to America with my grandparents I wouldn't answer (the answer is I went on an absolute bender which resulted in my grandparents house being used as a house party where we all got off our heads, took their car for a joy ride and sold their TV and DVD player for more money for more drugs). I was only 14, didn't start pills and raving till 16. I did far worse drugs than ecstasy and raving was harm reduction for me!

I think my dd will be a raver. She loves my old skool jungle, pendulum, d&b and DPs shitty techno and hardcore. Ds likes rap and the challenge will be stopping him being a stoner and wasting his life.

Branleuse · 31/12/2019 10:52

I wouldnt tell them as teens, but when they are older adults, if the conversation came up, I might, but tbh, it depends on the person.
Ive talked to my nephew about it, who is in his 20s, but not my 18 year old son. Its never come up

Northernsoullover · 31/12/2019 10:57

Absolutely no way would I tell them. I don't want them to think that because I did drugs and was fine they would be too. I have told them that the marijuana of yesteryear was completely different too (which it was) and I wouldn't touch the stuff nowadays ( I did once post children and threw the mother of all whiteys Grin)

Oblomov20 · 31/12/2019 11:02

I'm sad to see all this lying. Why don't you tell the truth, without going into details?

I wasn't hardcore like some, I never took that much, but I took a few things and Ds1 knows this, although he's never asked me for the details.

I can't grasp why so many of you would lie so much?

Lipperfromchipper · 31/12/2019 11:05

Not much to tell my dc, I’ve never even tried a cigarette, never mind drugs!! I have drank but never too much to be honest. I actually don’t drink at all anymore because I realised I don’t even like the taste of any alcohol. God I sound boring!!

Oblomov20 · 31/12/2019 11:06

"Ours are 15-18 and we’ve all said no, we didn’t."

How will you ever recover from all this lying?
Trust is a huge issue. One you start lying.......

troppibambini · 31/12/2019 11:18

Nope I did shed loads. I grew up in Manchester in the 90s and was basically wankered through most of them.
Amazing times but not something I would share with my kids.

Branleuse · 31/12/2019 11:28

Why would parents be expected to be completely honest with their teenage children about their drug taking. Im not going to tell them about my sexual exploits either and i wont be entirely honest about drug taking when they have no maturity, experience or frame of reference. I dont want to glamourise or normalise a period of my life that I have mixed feelings about. I spoke to my nephew because it was a conversation about his own drug use and I was adding weight to the angle I was coming from, which is harm reduction and not being stupid, and which drugs to definitely aviid, whilst reitterating the fact that im not making a moral judgement or promoting abstinence.
This is how I would feel if the conversation cropped up with my children.

Oblomov20 · 31/12/2019 11:35

Bran there's a very big difference between giving a vague acknowledgment, often whilst mitigating & saying you wouldn't actually encourage this / giving all the details / completely lying about it.

I'm saddened that do many people think you can lie, not just about this, but just lying generally, and think it's ok.

yellowallpaper · 31/12/2019 11:41

I won't be saying anything.

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