Grandparents overstepping...I am unreasonable?

[Daenerys86]

My daughter came home from staying at Grandmothers and told me her Great grandparents are going to heaven soon because they are getting old. ( They are in their 70s but perfect health and plenty time left i assure you) She said her grandma told her this. Im considering questioning her why she would tell my 5 year old this for her now to worry, what would others do?
Its not the first time she has overstepped ( bit of a habit) but i usually keep my moutb shut. She always gets away with it so should i pipe up or keep the peace?

At 5 your daughter could have easily misunderstood the conversation.

This conversation could have gone a million ways. Don't use them for free childcare if you're that bothered.

I'm not sure I'd take the word of a 5 year old, and while something was undoubtedly said, context is everything.

But you seem fairly eager to have some aggro with her, so yeah, "pipe up" and I hope it goes well for you.

Of course..but whatever was said she now believes they are going to die soon. As her parent I think she is too young to be worrying about this?

By 5 my dc had lost two much loved grandparents. I had to stop saying anything about being "too old" myself as he had the message that old people die. Which of course they eventually do.

Thanks for your constructive feedback but you have no idea...my daughter only stays when SHE wants to. She is never babysat at my request.

I'd be angry too. My dad did this to my sister when she was young, told her that one day he'd die but that she wouldn't be alone as she had her sister. She was hysterical, thought he was going to die soon. Idiot.

Im not "Eager to have aggro" hence asking others opinions as I am unsure. Thanks for your help though! 😐

I think the context was important here, I doubt your mum just came out with it from nowhere.
Just reassure your daughter in whichever way you feel comfortable with(in our house we don’t talk about heaven but are more factual).

Goingtoneedabigger thanks for understanding. My daugher is quite sensitive and I know this will play on her mind hence me wanting to address it

Your DD may have initiated the conversation. A lot of 5 year olds are very interested in death.

My now six year old lost her great grandparent at the age of five. We had talked about death before that, so she understood what was going on. I’ve found a lot of kids are interested in death, and it’s fine to have simple conversations about it. They may occasionally get upset, but you can reassure them, and move on. Honestly, just have these conversations. You never know when people will died better to have some understanding than none.

Thesearmsofmine That part of the issue we all have different beliefs. My main isssue is my daughter worrying about this unecessarily now

The thing is that at this age they often put 2 and 2 together. It could’ve been a conversation about someone on the news who had died or a pet, your daughter asked why they died, grandparents said “because they were very old” and DD has extrapolated this to the oldest people she knows. 5 year olds are very literal and often only give a condensed version of events.

But what is it you are actually wanting to do ? You can't undo the conversation, but it would be wise to ask for more info about what was said as you can understand it more then. Or do you want to feel they have been put in their place? You currently don't know how the conversation originated or what exactly was said. Plenty of tv programmes watched by children feature dead parents etc.

All i wanted to do is ask her about the entire conversation and if thats exactly whay she said, then ask her in future not to tell my daughter this. My little girl was very specific and said their names..."Greatgradma and greatgranpa (her names for them) are going to heaven soon because they are old)

I understand death is a part of life etc but as her parent its for me to decide when shes ready for that convo. And with my daughters nature I dont think she is ready

But they could die soon, we all could ....

Sadly lots of people don't get to decide when their children are "ready" to confront the reality of death.

But what if your dd is the one instigating it? Where did Elsa's parents go, etc? If there is something specific you want them to say you had better have the conversation and let them know

She’s probably not worrying at that age. It could well be a fact of life and best to discuss it young.

What @taybert said and also what @Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas said.

If you are not with her 24/7, then she is at an age where unexpected topics are going to come up. I doubt very much if her Grandparents planned a conversation to tell them her grandparents were going to die soon . There will have been something that came up in conversation , or a book, or on the TV, or maybe the news on the radio, and the conversation will have evolved from there. As others have said, dc of this age are often quite interested in the whole idea of death. What you need to do is be more matter of fact with her a find ways to encourage healthy discussion about topics you find uncomfortable, not try to hide her ears from anything you find unpalatable.

I don’t know why you asked really

People are saying to talk to her about death. You don’t want too.

You want to let your mother or whoever it was. That she overstepped the mark. Problem is 90% of us don’t think she did. I said in conversation about old people dying and my 7 yr old picked up on it. However in my house we have a rule. That if you ask the question. Your old enough to know the answer. My mother brought me up this way and it gave me amazing trust to know she would always tell me the truth. No matter how embarrassing the question

I would advise your daughter not to worry now. Maybe ask whomever told her how it was spoken of. Maybe ask they not do that. However somethings they will hear at school. My eldest had a friend whose grandfather died. So we had to have the talk anyway.

Sometimes these conversations can’t be helped. You also don’t know the context it was said. You’re assuming it was said this way.

I have spoken to her about death. I didnt say i hadnt. But i dont like her worrying about her grandma telling her that they are going to die soon!
And to the person who said she wont be worrying,well she is, she is a sensitive little soul and is close to them and I dont want it playing on her mind.
You all think Im trying to hide death from her and be unrealistic but Im not, she is aware that people dont live forecver and knows what happens when you die. Because she asked and i told her.
Bottom line Im a bit annoyed my gaughter is now worrying about this. That is all.

5yo is an age where they start thinking a lot about death and trying to figure it out. At least my two did.

Bottom line. You’re worried your daughter is going to worry

How does telling granny she overstepped the mark help with your daughter worrying? Which is your bottom line?

Because she is the one who caused my daughter to worry this way...?

So she told my daughter her great grandparents are going to die soon which has made my daughter sad, and Im not allowed to be annoyed at this? Regardless of the whole conversation blah blah, THIS IS WHAT SHE TOLD MY DAUGHTER.