Arrh why don't I like presents

[notthenormal]

It's taken me til now to open presents sent to me, I had a bad enough time when guests arrived at mine and I had to open gifts then, I have realised I don't like gifts. What the givers have given are good and I know I should be grateful as they are thoughtful but I don't want gifts!

Well...what do you think when someone hands it to you? Do you feel guilt that they've spent money on you? Or is it that you think it will be rubbish? Or that you don't deserve it? Are you embarrassed by them?

What were your Christmases and birthdays like as a child?

Not sure, I dealt with presents before now, this year i really didn't like them, but this is the first year I have actually been allowed to me alone til the youngest turned up and 'did Xmas'

I don't quite understand your response. What do you mean by

this is the first year I have actually been allowed to me alone til the youngest turned up and 'did Xmas

Actually coz I've now thought about it I find them demanding
The give receive thing

What you mean is at last year can actually not have to do people until you he youngest child turned up with partner so then had to do 'social Xmas' the kid was great though took over all cooking

Still made no sense, I liked this year and here I had no demands on me for a day until my youngest arrived and they took over the hosting part as it was my heir partner in our home xx

Could you try turning off auto correct?

That would help

My mums the same. I think she likes the social side of Christmas but she just hates any gifts. You can see it in her face. We do secret Santa for adults and she just lists books. Nothing else. If anyone goes off piste it just gets regifted / taken to the charity shop.

It's depressing really as I think it's rooted in a deep seated lack of self esteem not thinking she's worth much and a general attitude that spending any money is wasteful and to be looked down upon.

Doesn't help that her birthday is Boxing Day which probably means there's other hangovers from her childhood that mean she's off about presents eg getting joint gifts / no gifts.

I really try to make a fuss of her as I know that it means a lot to her to have a birthday (cake / badge / singing / candles) but it's quite demoralising knowing that she'll just never be happy with any gift

That's just it, I don't want stuff. I want peace and quiet and for you to be there when I want to talk

My (now nc) family despaired with me as I don't like gifts. They make me anxious and I can't open them in front of people. I'm fine with anything from my children or mum but it makes me twitch. I was considered weird all my life by myself too until I read about ASD and ADD in girls and suddenly my whole childhood and young adulthood made sense.