Christmas really isn't the same now the kids are older.....

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

They are nearly 12 and 15 neither believe in santa or into toys this year. To be honest they haven't even asked for alot so it has been very hard choosing presents. Although it's been a nice day the magic and excitement isn't there. We played games last night and watched a movie ut they have been in their rooms for most of the afternoon and dh has een falling asleep 😁

I think this is where a lot of parents of older kids fall down. It’s not about the ‘magic’ of Christmas but the tradition / fun - that’s what brings your kids back year after year once they’ve moved out. If you stop making an effort now then when they get partners and so have a choice over where to go, they may stop choosing you.

Oh god, I prefer it now. So much less pressure.
Lovely food. Few presents, some christmassy concerts, xmas films, panto.
I used to get really anxious sbout making it magical when they were little. Now weve stopped doing the santa bullshit and grottos, its much more personal

So what things do you do together now you are older??

Mine are 8, 5 and 3. I’m knackered. Yours sounds amazing!

I love it now they're older. Really didn't like all that pressure to make it fucking 'magical', it's one day, a pagan holiday that is about feasting and getting drunk. I don't see it as 'falling down', and will be totally happy about them getting their own lives and doing it their way, I don't mind if they don't 'choose me'. For all I know they could be living in a different country or convert to a religion that doesn't celebrate it.

12 and 15 are very hard ages. They’re trying to prove their independence and maturity but don’t know how. It gets better again ime.

Ours are 14 and 16. Still got the magic - the magic of family/whanau. We love spending time together, good food, bad movies, it's wonderful seeing what they pick as gifts now we don't do their shopping for them.

Mine are 12 and 14. They have been ok. 12 yo a bit under the weather so been tired a lot but they have been getting into it Played a few family games. Now we are back from extended family they are having some down time so it's booze and tv for dh and me for a bit. They may rejoin us later. We have cinema trip and a walk planned for tomorrow.

Then the next stage, late teens/early 20’s is different again. They might be with partners families, travelling, or in my case this year 21 year old is working Christmas Eve and Boxing Day all day in a city quite a distance away so not home at all 😢. Enjoy them while you can!

Basically - it's a different kind of magic. Each family needs to find their own, beyond the kids' cliches!

Mine are 16 and 12. The eldest told me earlier that he loves it now, because he loves our traditions. All of the little bits of magic we started when they were little, are now re-enacted each year.

Only downside is having to stay up until stupid o'clock to wait for them to fall asleep to do the stockings.

I've loved it this year. Mine don't believe in santa, presents opened, and taken away, rubbish cleared so the house is spotless again. All enjoyed lunch together and games, followed by a trip to my mums, sharing chocolates. There off doing their own thing now and I'm having a nice long bath and then we'll all have a late supper and snacks together and watch tv and chat. So much nicer now the pressure is off. Although the build up is just as stressful!

It’s not about the ‘magic’ of Christmas but the tradition / fun - that’s what brings your kids back year after year once they’ve moved out.

Totally agree. It's one of the few times of the year where they truly smile at the sight of pigs in blankets or actually study the cracker packaging and debate whether the jumping frog is better than the fortune telling fish.

They do more Christmassy things for other people too where as when they are younger they were the beneficiaries of other people giving to them iyswim.

It changes as children get older. Its still enjoyable just different. Get more adventurous with the food for christmas lunch, let them help choose the wine, do something active together on boxing day a long walk or bike ride maybe. A trip to a carol concert helps set our mood. The magic is still there, it just needs a little more effort.

Mine are similar age, I've had a lovely afternoon snoozing on the sofa with a bucks fizz or 2 while listening to them good natured arguing over a FIFA tournament and messing around with some sort of science experiment.

It's different but weve had a nice lunch and the youngest is watching home alone with us

I prefer it to the younger years, no pressure, no stupidly early starts for them, I did though as I had a couple of hours of work to do. But generally no rows, no tantrums this year.

Mine are similar ages and it hasn't really changed that much, just easier now we don't have to pretend Santa is real. They get more involved in food prep and cooking now, go out and deliver all the local cards, do their own present shopping and wrapping but still consult with us over suggestions for other family members. We still have games (card/board rather than toys, dartboard gets a lot of use). Go to a carol concert and a Christmas market in the run-up to Christmas. One of mine has been upstairs since dinner but he always has needed a bit of time out.

The Santa years are fun and cute, but once they grow up there's real appreciation there, even under the sullen grumpiness.
I've loved seeing photos from Dd's house today, of the food she's had, the traditions she's carried on from me, and that I've got an independent daughter, and I raised her.
That makes me feel better than any squealing at Santa.

I think it's miles better. We got up at 10.30am!!! The grown up dcs loved their gifts.
What's not to like!

Youngest is 14, oldest 20. They've absolutely love their Xmas. Great food, drink, a few presents, lots of socialising. Deffo much easier now, although we've never done Santas grotto/elf on shelf etc

Ours are all teen/young adult and I used to worry that it wouldn't be as nice at Christmas as when they were little
But it's lovely, very different but lovely
Mine love the stupid traditions we have and complain of we try and change anything
To be fair though we've always kept things fairly simple and I have found that less really is more
I actually like it more now they are older a lot less physically exhausting and i can have a beer with them 😂

DS is 14. He has '2 lives' in my house and ex's house. He is so not fussed about Christmas but appreciates the presents.

It's just me and him. Personally, it's just nice to relax together without the pressure of school.

I do miss Father Christmas but there you go.

I’m in my early 20s and genuinely haven’t been excited for Christmas since I was in primary school. It definitely loses its charm the older you get. Then again, my family were terrible at gifts (stingy) and would also heavily bicker after they got wasted🙄 I think having kids of my own will be the only thing that makes me excited again!

My kids are 16 and 17,and although there is less 'magic' it's so much more relaxed and less pressurised. I have had a nice day today kids like their presents, they really appreciated the thought that went into them.They are now in their rooms and I'm sipping prosecco, eating crisps and watching call the midwife.

This year, the dcs cooked the Christmas dinner. The first time ever. Was fun listening to them sorting it out and I think a new tradition has been born. Things change. DD2 cooked the sprouts with chorizo - a first, but I suspect the way they will always be done now.
Now DD1 has gone to bed , DD2 gone back to her own flat, DS in his room. It’s been very peaceful and no stress at all. A lot easier in some ways

I loved Christmas with younger dcs and there were a few intermediate years where things were a bit wistful. But now they are 16 and 18 almost it’s a new sort of lovely. This is our last year before ds moves to another European country to start uni and then we will have to adapt again.