Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Christmas really isn't the same now the kids are older.....

71 replies

Dickorydockwhatthe · 25/12/2019 18:26

They are nearly 12 and 15 neither believe in santa or into toys this year. To be honest they haven't even asked for alot so it has been very hard choosing presents. Although it's been a nice day the magic and excitement isn't there. We played games last night and watched a movie ut they have been in their rooms for most of the afternoon and dh has een falling asleep 😁

OP posts:

ExpletiveFairylighted · 26/12/2019 08:25

We did have a couple of trickier years when they first stopped believing in Santa (same year as they are close in age), the adjustment was a bit awkward. Now they happily play along with the magic, we still do stockings and they still put out carrots, mince pies etc by the fireplace but there's no pressure to avoid letting slip the big secret. The last thing they do before going to bed on Christmas Eve is sort all the presents into piles in the front room (we used to do it after they were in bed) which is lovely.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 26/12/2019 08:28

Op, it strikes me that maybe the change for you is negative because the children are spending a lot of time in their rooms.

Ragwort · 26/12/2019 08:30

So much better now! Civilised time to get up, meaningful church service without having to cringe at children doing Nativity scenes, crying & forgetting their lines. Time to relax and enjoy the meal and drinks, time to have a really good walk, playing board games & cards not mindless children’s games (my worst Christmas memory is the lengthy & tedious setting up of Mouse Trap), choosing a good film/tv to watch. I much prefer Christmas now .

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations

ChangedToday · 26/12/2019 09:35

Yes about same ages here. Yes maybe there is a little less excitement and 'magic' but it's not gone. they were still excited: DD1 who is renowned for her long lie-ins was up and dressed before me by 7am, but we still had a relaxed family breakfast before starting on the presents.
Still spent a nice day, my best present was seeing DD2 with ASD happy and excited about specific items I got her, she never expresses any wishes or preferences and has limited visible interests, but I still occasionally manage to 'get' her. While especially DD2 spent a lot of time relaxing in her room, we also played some board games as a family and some console games. I did cook a full Christmas roast but relaxed time scale and everyone was able to eat and enjoy something, even if that meant most pigs in blankets ended up with one person, and sprout were only had by 50% of diners... And I could just let them get on with it and have a glass of wine or two.
Now I just need to find a way to get them out of the house for a walk - once we get past the threshold everyone usually enjoys these!

Dowser · 26/12/2019 09:42

We had a lovely afternoon..15 year old played his guitar for us
He’s self taught himself over two years...was fabulous
Then the he and his 16, year old cousin and 10 year old sister And 12 year old brother plus me, my dh, my Dd and My son played a variety of board games
Articulate was great. Really Gets them using their brains

DuchessofWoke · 26/12/2019 09:47

I’m in the trenches of magical Christmases OP with very little ones.

I personally can’t wait for the next stage with older children when the pressure can ease off and the focus can be on just doing nice things together. Things I remember from my own childhood, after say 12 years old.

Festive concerts and shows in town as a family, cooking together, listening to Classic FM and going to midnight mass. Strolling round Christmas markets with mulled wine etc

I’m looking forward to not having to buy for nieces and nephews as just to toning the whole thing down. I hate the commercialization. My extended family are very pro-gifts so I have a lot to buy and wrap and I feel like that’s all I think about in December, and I don’t like it.

LittleCandle · 26/12/2019 09:49

Both of mine are adults. One has chosen not to come on Christmas Day (out of spite because I refuse to drive for 4 hours, collecting and dropping off) and is coming today instead by public transport. The other has a partner and they are with his parents this year, having been with us last year. This is the second time she has stay with his parents and I don't think is enjoying it as much as first time around, as she has all but admitted she wishes she was at home with us. We had a very quiet day yesterday, but it was lovely. We did miss DD2, but we would never put the pressure on her to be here every year, because she is an adult with her own life and probably will be doing Christmas in her own home in a few years.

It sounds like you had a nice day yesterday, and there is something of a relief in not having to provide the 'magic' for your DC as they are now old enough to provide some of the magic, too.

Dowser · 26/12/2019 09:52

Just think..those little ones that you are running around after, trying to make things magical are the friends you will gain when they are older.
We had three generations all mingling together yesterday.
Was lovely.
Sadly I’m the one at the top of the tree...but if I keep going on like the royals I’m good for another 30 years...heres looking at you Philip.👍

notnowmaybelater · 26/12/2019 09:54

Everyone is different.

My parents' Christmas was so dominated by traditions and ritual and compulsory fun that it felt like work. It was all about treading on eggshells around my mother reassuring her how well she'd done. There was no down time or chance to be alone without being judged for it, which is very uncomfortable for a lot of people.

I much prefer a relaxed, informal Christmas with my own older children.

Grasspigeons · 26/12/2019 09:57

I think christmas is a really grown up festival. Its all focussed round a big long lunch at an unusual time and alcohol and sitting around. The whole father christmas bit is fun for the kids but the rest of it less so.

Alexandrite · 26/12/2019 10:15

Mine are the same age. We had family here so it wasn't a problem when the kids went to their room later on as still had company. Can imagine it would feel a bit lonely if it was just you and your dh and your dh fell asleep

franke · 26/12/2019 10:21

I love it. Our Christmases have always been quite mellow but now with teens it's really relaxed. And they hoover up Christmas dinner which makes all the work cooking it (which I really enjoy) even more worthwhile. And we don't have piles of food left over. They still leave out stockings on Christmas Eve, so there's a little bit of magic. They were lovely yesterday. We played games, they looked after Grandad who came for lunch, they helped clear up. Brilliant.

Tumbleweed101 · 26/12/2019 10:32

I expected Christmas to be a lot different this year. My youngest is 10 now so leaving the ‘magic’ stage. My eldest children had to work yesterday and the two youngest were meant to be going to their dads in the afternoon with his new partner and her children. I was expecting it to be a bit quiet and strange.

Then my two younger children told their dad they didn’t want to go (this is a fairly new partner and they don’t know her and her family that well yet), my son stayed over Xmas eve so he could go to work from mine and my dd got to finish work much earlier than expected. It turned out to be a lovely Xmas day. I expected to be alone this morning but instead I have three of my children here (even if they are all still in bed lol).

I think the coming years are going to be different, they will move, have families of their own etc, but the thing I learned this year is they all want to be home and taking part in our family traditions. It’s a nice feeling to know that what we’ve done over the years is ‘Christmas’ for them .

Ludways · 26/12/2019 11:12

Mine are 21, 18 and 14 now and I love it (I loved it when they were younger too, lol). We talk, eat, drink a little, play games, do quizzes etc. The TV went on at about 10pm last night as people started to wind down.

Purplewallpaper · 26/12/2019 12:04

My eldest is 8 and today he asked me what the point of Christmas was if Santa wasn’t real. He has done a good job on pretending in front of his younger siblings. I asked him he needs to think about what he did like the most and we could make more of an effort next year in making those interests a tradition. Whether it’s cooking, craft, decorations, music or outings.

I know as an older child I was very into Christmas craft. Made my own Christmas tree for example and decorated it myself with handmade decorations. I was also very into cooking as a child and later as a teen. As an adult I would still get very involved in planning and making interesting dishes.

Sadly as an parent I haven’t had the time to indulge in this as Christmas food I do prepare tends to be just the traditional staples, but I love the idea of having more time when the dc are a older (probably in just a few years) when I can do this again.

I also loved travelling to Christmas markets as a child free adult and would love to take my older children to these also in the future if they’re interested.

TheNavigator · 26/12/2019 12:07

22 & 17 - best Xmas ever! Wild fun playing stupid games with cousins & partners then curl up with a glass of wine & Gavin & Stacey. Sharing cooking today for a big family buffet - I love this age & having them both home for Xmas is the best.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 26/12/2019 16:55

15 and 18yo dds here. (Small) sacks of gifts were laid out last night way before they went to bed and they chose to have their stocking bits added to their main gifts rather than in actual stockings, so that made going to be when I wanted to easy.

We got them out of bed at 9, so a relaxed start to the day. Then they didn't rush through opening their presents until breakfast and a cuppa had been had, which meant they lingered longer downstairs chatting and looking at their gifts too.

All up to get ready for dinner at my Mum's, where everyone got along and was civil.

Back to ours (and their rooms) for a bit of chilling out, then they helped sort the tea and did some tidying ready for guests.

Then they were civil and good company with the other half of our family who came for buffet tea.

It was a nice day. One of the nicest.

SpaceCadet4000 · 26/12/2019 19:00

My favourite Christmases with my family were through the teen years. We would play board or card games, make up family pub quizzes and we would all pitch in on making Christmas special. We all put up the tree together and we would help my Dad forage for things to make our wreath from.

In fact, now there's young kids in the family again it has kind of taken away from all the things I love about Xmas as things need to cater more to them!

DuchessofWoke · 26/12/2019 21:29

In fact, now there's young kids in the family again it has kind of taken away from all the things I love about Xmas

Totally agree. There are lots of things I’d love to do but the children would find boring or can’t stay up late enough for or can’t manage.

TheBigFatMermaid · 26/12/2019 22:23

It was the easiest Christmas yet, with a 13 and 14 year old. I wrapped the presents a few days before and DD took them and put them under the tree! None of the desperate hiding and waiting for them to fall asleep on Christmas Eve!

DS, the 13 year old went in to DD at 6.30, but she made him wait till 7 to wake me. DP had been up since 5.30.

When DS did wake me, he said 'Mum, it's Christmas. Merry Christmas. You get up in 5 minutes, I'll go down and make a cup of tea'. What's not to like?

OccasionalNachos · 27/12/2019 03:45

This is all really heartwarming stuff. I enjoyed childhood Christmases a lot but my all-time favourites were from mid-teens to young adulthood, for all the reasons people have given above. Getting involved with cooking, more relaxed present-opening, finding my niche with buying and giving gifts of my own, new young children in the family & seeing the magic through their eyes, settling down with good TV and a glass of wine... things change, but change can be so positive. In the past few years I have hosted Christmas Day & have really enjoyed that too. I do remember the overwhelming need to disappear to my room for a bit when I was a teen, but it was usually so I could listen to the new CDs I’d got as gifts or something like that.

I’m having my first child in a few weeks and Christmas will never be the same again, this will hopefully also be another positive shift!

Flip

1 2 3