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Original poster

‘We are not sending cards this year, instead ...’

143 replies

AShaveAndAHarecutHalfPrice · 22/12/2019 08:45

Anyone else get annoyed by these frankly attention seeking posts?

No reason to tell people which charitable cause you are supporting - simply wish your friends a Merry Christmas, without the public display of do-goodery.

I’m not sending cards cos I write them and forget to post them and it’s a massive waste of time and money, so I no longer do it.

Merry Christmas everyone!

OP posts:
blue25 · 22/12/2019 14:09

Agree it comes across as attention seeking

I feel embarrassed for my friends that do this. Just donate to charity without shouting about it.

sifted · 22/12/2019 14:09

My friends do this every year and I think it's a great idea , really don't see it as attention seeking at all rather just an explanation that their money has gone to help xxxxx , I saw their post and also gave £50 as it's a cause I believe in so them posting gained for the charity at least once

73Sunglasslover · 22/12/2019 14:11

Totally agree. I had a note saying we're not sending cards this year we're giving to x charity instead. I felt like responding and saying I do both and so could you (the couple are not that hard up). I actually really respect environmental arguments about cards but not this one from people who are as well off as we are. Seems CFuckery to me. Not worth breaking a sweat over though in the grand scale of things. Oh, also it was a group post so no individual effort made which seems like they are saving themselves effort too as they can't be bothered to wish everyone merry xmas.

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Events & celebrations
firstimemamma · 22/12/2019 14:11

Yanbu, this is why I'm not on face book. Can't stand the bragging!

73Sunglasslover · 22/12/2019 14:13

Do you think I should go on facebook announcing that we have sent cards and also bought an Xmas dinner through crisis?

beautifulstranger101 · 22/12/2019 14:15

I'm going against the grain here and saying I get it. I get why they do it. One Christmas, a whole batch of my cards got caught in the post and were late. I heard via someone else that one distant relative was deeply offended that they hadn't received my card blah blah blah. They got it on the 27th and could see it was post marked well before Christmas so the drama finally died down but people can be ridiculous about cards and get super petty about not getting one when they've sent one. Therefore, this seems a good way to stop all of that nonsense before it has a chance to begin.

Evilmorty · 22/12/2019 14:18

i can see why they announce it, otherwise people would think they’d just been forgotten. Yet still something about it seems showy. Send the cards AND donate to charity, what are cards these days? £3? You could get the kids to draw pictures for free is £3 is an issue.

astridstar · 22/12/2019 14:19

We had one saying we are not going to send Christmas cards from next year onwards due to our concerns for the environment. This is from a couple who are complete petrol heads and own 4 cars, one runaround, a defender, a Porsche and a pickup. The man also has 3 motorbikes....

KTyoupigeon · 22/12/2019 14:20

I’m one of those annoying people who do a Facebook post and I do mention the charities mainly to honour the memory of the person who I am donating for and also to a charity that is very important to me and my family and it’s raising awareness of how difficult Christmas can be when you have chronically ill children. I also do a lot of other charity things and random act of kindness all year and all completely anonymously.

Jaxhog · 22/12/2019 14:21

I loathe this virtue signaling. It's just bl*y lazy.

I still send cards, AND I donate to charity. But I don't bang on about it.

Dollygirl2008 · 22/12/2019 14:21

I have to say that I'm quite surprised by this thread and now it's seriously making me wonder if everyone thinks I'm a self absorbed twat!!!

I do it because I find the cost of stamps to be ridiculous. I put a post on Facebook and wish everyone a merry Christmas, and then put a copy of my donation in the page as well in the hope that others may follow suit. It's certainly not meant as a do-good task, but if I can pursuade at least one other person to put the equivalent money to a good cause (and not clutter up my shelves!), then I'm happy!

DisplayPurposesOnly · 22/12/2019 14:23

I think it's OK to let people know that you aren't sending cards but donating to [named] charity instead. It lets those people know they haven't been ignored or overlooked and it publicises the charity.

I do wonder if everyone who gets a card from me therefore assumes I don't give to charity Grin

And most of my family and friends can afford both, so I do think that those that opt for charity are just finding a socially acceptable way to say they can't be arsed!

beautifulstranger101 · 22/12/2019 14:24

I have to say that I'm quite surprised by this thread and now it's seriously making me wonder if everyone thinks I'm a self absorbed twat

You aren't. People dont realise how arsey people get when they dont get cards. I was shocked too, its a fcking card!

ElbasAbsentPenis · 22/12/2019 14:28

Meh, I don’t have a problem with this.

I also think all the people moaning about how much they loathe virtue signalling because they do all their giving and good works IN SECRET are double-extra-virtue-signalling. So there!

Mabelface · 22/12/2019 14:28

I don't send them for several reasons; it's a chore, I'm skint and it's such a waste of resources that just gets binned. I don't announce it on fb though, and I'm not giving to charity because I can't afford to.

Strugglingmum73 · 22/12/2019 14:28

Couldn’t care less either way.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 22/12/2019 14:28

Well I just buy charity cards Grin

You can buy packs of cards for 99p in the Card Factory so not exactly a generous donation to boast about - I agree OP.

MrsNoMopp · 22/12/2019 14:30

I see Christmas as a time for generosity and 'feasting' compared to the rest of the year. I do privately raise an eyebrow when people go all virtue-signally over Christmas cards, while the rest of the year they happily consume unnecessary stuff, take polluting flights etc. It seems a mean-spirited tokenism to cancel recyclable cards which can bring a warm glow to others.

PorpentinaScamander · 22/12/2019 14:38

Theres definitely a benefit to announcing it.
I don't send cards (well rarely) and I'm not on social media

My dad phoned me a couple of days ago. Apparently my Grandmother (aged 86) is complaining that I haven't sent her a card. When he pointed out that my brother and sil haven't either she said "yes but they've donated to charity. Tina just hasn't bothered"

Actually Tina used to donate to charity all year round (currently can't afford to) and volunteers when she is well enough
As t least if I was on social media I could have posted to enlighten everyone

EmmaGrundyForPM · 22/12/2019 14:44

I've just done this for the first time and didn't realise that people would think I was a virtue-signalling arse Blush

We usually spend over £100 on cards and postage so I donated £150 to a charity that helped my dad a lot before he died earlier this year. I didn't say how much I was donating, just that I was making a donation to that charity in memory of my dad. I posted on FB so that friends wouldn't think they had suddenly been crossed off my Christmas card list. I don't imagine I'll post next year.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 22/12/2019 14:58

You can buy packs of cards for 99p in the Card Factory so not exactly a generous donation to boast about

My postage for cards was about £15. I hope donors are taking account of card cost and postage in their donations.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 22/12/2019 15:02

The postage is a lot more than the cards. I usually spend around £40 on cards and £80 on postage.

Ragwort · 22/12/2019 17:48

witchend but some people do like receiving charity gifts, I know I do. I would much rather receive a ‘goat type’ gift than chocolates, wine, bath oils, jewellery, books etc etc. In fact I would be doubly delighted because it would show me that people had really thought me and know that I’m the sort of person that does like charity gifts. I always buy myself one in case I don’t receive any Grin.

I work for an charity that sells charity gifts and they are very popular, and I can’t believe that all the people who receive them are disappointed Confused with their gift.

JaJoJe · 22/12/2019 20:03

I hate charity bragging, it destroys the whole point of charity,

DisplayPurposesOnly · 22/12/2019 20:16

I hate charity bragging, it destroys the whole point of charity,

I think there's a difference between broadcasting that you gave a homeless person some loose change, and saying you support xyz charity.