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Original poster

Uncertainty about who my childs father is?!

61 replies

Coralsmith2000 · 21/12/2019 04:03

This is my first post. I had a miscarriage in October at 16 weeks, I am pregnant again now. I didnt know it was possible to get pregnant so soon after a miscarriage... I'm quiet unsure when my last period was (i know around when) and ive slept with 2 different guys... my recent partner 4/5 times a week and this other guy twice over past 2 months ...is there anyway i can figure out who the father may be?? I am so scared it isnt going to be my partners. Any advice please

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/12/2019 04:05

Does your partner know about the other bloke?

I'm useless at dates but some on here are good so when did you sleep with bloke 2 and how many weeks exactly?

PicsInRed · 21/12/2019 04:11

Well I know one thing for sure. It can't be Shovelly Joe.

SpaceDinosaur · 21/12/2019 04:16

Hang a green crystal over your bump

If it glows you've got bigger problems because the aliens are coming.

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anxioussue · 21/12/2019 04:46

Toss a coin.

GreenGrove · 21/12/2019 04:55

@PicsInRed Xmas Shock omg, so funny!

GreenGrove · 21/12/2019 04:56

@PicsInRed genuinely not being sarcastic by the way

GreenGrove · 21/12/2019 04:57

This reply has been deleted

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ColdCottage · 21/12/2019 05:00

Sorry for your loss in October.

User7369 · 21/12/2019 12:23

Sorry I don’t know why some are being so rude to you, it’s an unfortunate position you’ve found yourself in, especially after the loss you have both been through.

If you could post dates etc it might help you figure it out, and maybe a scan will add further clarity?
Wishing you the best

Waxonwaxoff0 · 21/12/2019 12:27

Does your partner know about the other guy?

How close together did you sleep with them both? It might be possible to work out who the father is when you have your dating scan.

Soontobe60 · 21/12/2019 12:38

I wouldn't call it an 'unfortunate position'. I'd call it a bloody nightmare! Within the past 2 months you've lost a baby, and then had sex with 2 different men on several occasions, becoming pregnant again with no clue as to who the father is.
If it did turn out to be your partners, would you hide the fact you've been unfaithful twice from him?
Only when you have your dating scan will you have any idea when you may have conceived, but if you had sex with them both within the conception timeframe, you'll only know by having a DNA test.
Whatever you do, do not try to pass this baby off as your DPs if you're not certain.

Original poster
Coralsmith2000 · 21/12/2019 12:46

My last period was around the 4th of november, i slept with my partner frequently from then up until recent i slept with the other guy around the 22nd and the 27th

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 21/12/2019 12:49

Are you still with your partner?
Are you not concerned about sexually transmitted diseases?

Original poster
Coralsmith2000 · 21/12/2019 12:49

I wasnt unfaithful as we were not together until recently, we were only dating. What are the dates of conception

OP posts:
Letseatgrandma · 21/12/2019 12:53

You have heard of birth control, haven’t you?

katewhinesalot · 21/12/2019 12:54

I think you can rule out the 27th.

I think conception is normally 12 to 14 days before start of your next period.

So if your cycle is regular, which it might not be after your miscarriage, then your period would be due 2nd Dec. So 12 to 14 days before that is 18- 20th Nov?

Have I worked that out right?

LisaSimpsonsbff · 21/12/2019 12:56

I don't understand why other people think this post is funny and unless I've missed something obvious it seems very cruel.

When did you get a positive pregnancy test, OP? Unfortunately if your last period was 4 November conceiving on 22nd or 27th isn't out of the question - it would be quite a long cycle, but they're often irregular after a loss, especially a late one (for which I'm really sorry)

Lweji · 21/12/2019 12:58

You can get pregnant from any time before 7-5 days before your ovulation, which means you could get pregnant anytime about 21 days before you even have a period!

Having a miscarriage means nothing to fertility.

Anyway....
If your period was around the 4th Nov, and you have periods of 28-30 days, you'd expect your ovulation to be around the 18th-20th, but you can be fertile up to 2 days post-ovulation. That alone means that nobody can tell from those dates who the father is. Even if you have regular 28 day periods, it's not possible to tell unless you know when you had your ovulation.
Maybe if you get your pregancy dated, but even so, I suspect it will have to go the way of DNA testing, or lying to your current partner.

Lweji · 21/12/2019 13:00

I think conception is normally 12 to 14 days before start of your next period.

Ovulation.
Conception is when the sperm meets the non-fertilised egg. But sperm can last for at least 5 days. 7 to be safe.

kristallen · 21/12/2019 13:00

Sorry OP no idea why you're getting so much judgement in here. Obviously posters got married at 17 and never had any complicated relationship situations or sexual partners other than their husbands.

I'm crap at working stuff like dates out, so I can't help you with that, but just wanted to add an alternative side: hope the sex was good! Smile

BlueSwathesChoose · 21/12/2019 13:01

So sorry OP.

I hope it works out for you. Thanks

BertieBotts · 21/12/2019 13:03

More likely to be your partner. Very slim chance of the other guy on the 22nd ish. Unless you had late ovulation, which is possible but not that likely.

katewhinesalot · 21/12/2019 13:04

Yes lweji

I stand corrected.

StanleyWalkersThirdWife · 21/12/2019 13:06

Some of these messages from pps are awful OP.

It does sound like it's possible that you could of conceived with the other guy on the 22nd but its impossible to know as it's so close.

I think the above poster is right in saying that it might be clearer once you have the pregnancy dated but even if you did conceive on the 22nd it could have been your partners as sperm can live for 5 days.

Does your partner know about the other guy? I think you need to be honest with your partner and explain the situation x

katewhinesalot · 21/12/2019 13:08

If she ovulated on 18-20th and sperm lasts up to 5 days on average then that makes it a very good chance of it happening on the 22nd.

But it's all complicated by the miscarriage which can send your cycle all over the place. Also women vary when they ovulate anyway. So it's impossible to tell from dates.

Sorry op.