Uncertainty about who my childs father is?!

[Coralsmith2000]

This is my first post. I had a miscarriage in October at 16 weeks, I am pregnant again now. I didnt know it was possible to get pregnant so soon after a miscarriage... I'm quiet unsure when my last period was (i know around when) and ive slept with 2 different guys... my recent partner 4/5 times a week and this other guy twice over past 2 months ...is there anyway i can figure out who the father may be?? I am so scared it isnt going to be my partners. Any advice please

Sorry OP but the only way you are going to know for sure is a DNA test

If she ovulated on 18-20th and sperm lasts up to 5 days on average then that makes it a very good chance of it happening on the 22nd.

That's not how it works either.
Eggs last for 48h, so post-ovulation, it desn't matter how long sperm lasts. The most likely change would be not pregnant on the 22nd, if date from last period is the latest and OP is indeed very regular and periods less than 30 days.
Still, I wouldn't discard getting pregnant on the 22nd, mostly because it's not possible to know when ovulation occurred. Even regular women can have the odd late ovulation for all sorts of reasons.

Conception is likely to have happens around the 18th/19th if your cycles are regular and about 28 days apart.

Blimey OP, I feel for you.

Only you can decide how to proceed and what option is right for you, be it keeping the pregnancy, a termination, telling one or both men. Whatever you decide, please make sure you have someone in your life who will be there for you and won’t judge. You need support not haranguing.

Sorry OP no idea why you're getting so much judgement in here

The OP has had a miscarriage, so clearly she is fertile. She has unprotected sex with two different men and finds herself pregnant again. I’m not judging the number of men here, but I can see why some posters might judge that the OP hasn’t used contraception, especially if she is not TTC or in a stable relationship.

Just so people know. I was taking the pill and i was not unfaithful. My new partner knows whats happening, im not a bad person im young and was enjoying my life, i took all nessacery precations so this wouldnt happen.... but it has and i dont beleive in abortion i also dont want to suffer another miscarriage. Thanks for all your honesty but please just dont assume how this happened

Will your partner (the most recent one?) stay if it's not him? Is that the issue?

If you were taking the pill properly, then all bets are off. You shouldn't have had an ovulation and it could have happened at any time when the pill failed.

If your partner knows then have a dna test after the birth.

You are perfectly entitled to enjoiy your life and have any number of partners if everybody is on the same page and there is no deception.

Don't let anyone shame you for that!!

Please accept my apologies OP.

You say you took precautions but clearly you didn’t.

Sorry to hear of your mc. I don't think you can rule out either and I actually think both are equally as likely. Having a delayed ovulation after a mc is extremely common.

If your last period was on the 4th of November (it started that day) and you have a regular 28 day cycle, you will have ovulated around the 18th of November. Once you ovulate, it doesn't matter how long the sperm lasts as once you ovulate and there's no sperm there, you can't get pregnant. The sex you had in the few days leading up to the 18th of Novemeber is what will have made you pregnant so going on that logic, I don't think the other guy can be the father. If you don't have a 28 day cycle though and more like a 32 day one, there's a chance he could be. Do you get a period then exactly 4 weeks later get another one? This would indicate a 28 days cycle

Oh FFS. Contraception fails.

The pill fails. No contraception except for celibacy is 100 % perfect. Everyone knows that surely?

I am disgusted that anyone tries to shame an adult woman for exercising agency in making her own choices about her sexual life.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP.

I think others could keep in mind that OP was and is still grieving. She doesn’t need judgement. No matter how much of a kick you get out of it.

Unfortunately Op there won’t be a definitive answer without a DNA test. I think you can have them while pregnant but there may be risks. I’m not sure. I hope you have supportive people around you and wish you all the best for your pregnancy.

You say you took precautions but clearly you didn’t.

Some people clearly come across as judgemental bitches.

Op you'll need a dna test, the dates are all so close together, it could be either man.

You just need one man to provide dna.

Some places offer DNA testing from your blood, because you will have some cells from the baby in circulation.

Search, assuming UK

Not sure how reliable it is.

I just wanted to say how horrified I am by the judgemental posts here, Mumsnet can be a horrible place. I hope if any of you make a mistake in life you're treated with empathy and respect, as opposed to the scorn you've shown here.

Definitely get a DNA test so everyone is aware, I think you can get blood tests from week 8 if I remember right. And big hug and best wishes for your pregnancy.

The OP hasn't made a mistake though as she's keeping the baby and her partner is aware of the situation. It's just a bit fraught at the moment not knowing. So all the judgemental posts can get lost. She asked if we could give ideas of who the father might be using biology. I provided that, as did some others. The other comments are not needed really!

Some of you are nasty spiteful cunts, you really are.

OP, if you don't want to consider an abortion (which honestly would be my preferred way out of this mess) there's not much you can do aside from hope for the best. Is your current partner a nice person? Do you feel that you could discuss all this honestly with him?

Agree with other posters that mumsnet really can be a nasty place sometimes.

Op, the only way your gonna know is a dna test. I do feel for you.

Just wanted to say that people are really being horrible. I feel for you OP, and am hoping this all works out for you