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I think Christmas makes me a bit depressed

86 replies

Hellvelyn · 19/12/2019 20:07

I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that the whole festive period makes me feel quite depressed. I feel bad because in reality I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about.
For context - I do have a tendency to depression and anxiety after a really unpleasant event many years ago. I have been on anti-depressants ever since but all is well controlled and I have a busy family life and a responsible job.
I just find myself wading through treacle from the beginning of November. I can't bear the excess, the waste, the pressure to give presents and hassle about what you want to receive. The enforced time with extended family for days on end, excessive food,the lack of routine. If I'm honest I think I just feel a bit overwhelmed and out of sorts. Years ago when I was in my teens I worked for a big high street store all over Christmas. I really liked it because I had an "excuse" to limit Xmas activities as I was working a lot. I may be one of the only people who looks forward to the beginning of January so everything can get back to normal. I work in a school and have just finished for two weeks and it is stretching out ominously in front of me. Anyone else out there experience anything similar? Just for the record, I am not a misery over Xmas spoiling everyone's fun. I do my best to be cheery and get on with things. God I must sound like such a spoilt brat!

OP posts:
midsomermurderess · 19/12/2019 20:17

If it's any help, you are very far from alone.

AlexanderHalexander · 19/12/2019 20:19

I'm the same OP.

We are January people, embrace it

Twinkletoes888 · 19/12/2019 20:23

I used to like it, the last 5 years I’ve honestly turned my back on the Christmas stuff. Too much is expected of me, my family want too much from me and are so ungrateful. I now dread it

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CrazyKittenSmile · 19/12/2019 20:25

I feel exactly the same. I hate Christmas and it is such a relief come January when I know it won’t come around again for another year!

My advice is to go away somewhere overseas if you can as that way nobody expects you to join in with any of their festivities; you have a good excuse not to bother with any of it if you’re not in the country!

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 19/12/2019 20:26

Yes, I can totally relate and have felt the same since I was a teenager. I feel like I have to be happy and jolly but really just feel lost and out of it. I'm working the entire season over and couldn't be more pleased to do so.

Twinkletoes888 · 19/12/2019 20:28

I have to agree last year we went away on 1st Jan was so nice. If I could I’d bugger off for whole lot

SourAndSnippy · 19/12/2019 20:36

I bet loads of people feel the same even those who don't have depression. Its all a bit much isn't it. I prefer a US Thanksgiving where it's just about the food and get togethers.

I hate giving and receiving presents. I hate the shops being so busy and the ridiculous franticness of the whole event. It's so over the top.

MrsGrindah · 19/12/2019 20:40

Google Christmas Makes Me Cry by Kacey Musgraves! Perfectly sums up how I feel

MerryDeath · 19/12/2019 20:44

I'm the same. i dread it. bring on miserable january when the pressure to be fucking festive is gone.

Hellvelyn · 19/12/2019 20:50

I have found my Christmas people! It's just TOO much. I have tried very hard to limit waste and excess this year but this can only really happen within my immediate family. What helps people feel better? I'm off for a dog walk with a good friend tomorrow which I'm looking forward to.

OP posts:
Hellvelyn · 19/12/2019 21:04

Another thing that helps a bit is that if I receive anything I don't want I donate to the local charity shop or food bank as soon as possible. I hope someone will like the gift even if I didn't.

OP posts:
SinglePringle · 19/12/2019 21:04

I too can not wait for January.

I get through the whole ‘season’ telling myself it’s just one day and no one really lives in a John Lewis ad.

Had a great chat with some colleagues last week - many of us felt the same. I take comfort in the fact that everyone has their private worries and we are all weird little freaks.

SourAndSnippy · 20/12/2019 08:35

What helps people feel better?

Lots of walking in the countryside.

Shortbreadbaby · 20/12/2019 08:41

Christmas starts so bloody early now as well.

Snowy111 · 20/12/2019 10:32

I agree. I don’t like the excess, and plastic tat. I would feel too guilty not to do it. But then I’m the only one that does it so I feel resentful for that! I’ve done the decs, the food shopping, the present buying, the wrapping with no help (I’m an lp). I will do the cooking. All whilst fighting off all the horrible lergis that are going round.

I know I will enjoy the day itself with the help of red wine whilst cooking. But, as the years go on, I like Xmas less and less and just find it stressful.

HuaShan · 20/12/2019 10:48

I am similar, but as a health care worker I can volunteer to work some shifts. This year I'm off Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, then I'll be back to work. That's enough Christmas for me!

TheHoneyBadger · 20/12/2019 11:00

Not dissimilar. When I was younger I would often go away to a warm country for December. Would happily go away for Christmas but my whole family will be together and my son would hate to miss it.

I have a small house and there’s just ds and I so I don’t host. I should and do feel really grateful for the hospitality but I end up feeling trapped and unable to escape and overwhelmed with a frozen smile on my face.

Thankfully we do kids only gift giving now which lessens the stress of what to get people who don’t need anything.

You are definitely not alone

DarlingNikita · 20/12/2019 11:18

I may be one of the only people who looks forward to the beginning of January so everything can get back to normal.

You're really not. I feel exactly the same. I don't really get on with my family or want to spend my break schlepping to them, plus my parents are divorced and live hundreds of miles apart so there's added logistical and political issues. I hate the enforced jollity, the pressure to buy and eat and buy and eat and have a marvellous time, the aimlessness of it.

I do like having a few days off, but the lack of routine drives me spare after a little while.

Solidarity, OP.

DarlingNikita · 20/12/2019 11:21

What helps people feel better?
Going on holiday to avoid it Grin DP and I have previously been to Sri Lanka, Portugal, India, an isolated house in Northumberland... we still watch some Christmas telly and have the carols on the radio and may even have a mince pie in a cafe, but there's something about being away from home that makes it different and therefore OK.

I know it's not always realistic, though; DP and I can't afford it this year, so we're having a quiet one at home, with telly and reading, and some gallery visits while it's not too busy.

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 20/12/2019 11:44

I think being a teacher doesn't help. You do the class party, presents for the children, the Christmas show and Christmas dinner, Christmas jumper day, presents for colleagues. Then you break up and do Christmas again with family and all the worries about pleasing everyone happen again.

Oh and I know it is self inflicted but that doesn't stop it happening!

Goodnightjude1 · 20/12/2019 11:45

I’m the same! It’s just all.too.much. I crave getting to January and back in to a routine. The stress, the expectation, the mess...I hate it. I try my very best to be happy and cheery over Xmas but my family know me well enough to know that I’m eagerly awaiting the end of it all!

myusernamewastakenbyme · 20/12/2019 12:01

Im exactly the same...my kids are home from uni...my house is a mess....im a lone parent so have done the decs...the presents...the wrapping...the food shopping....im exhausted and cant wait for it all to be over.

Hellvelyn · 20/12/2019 16:15

Thanks for the solidarity. I feel less freakish now. Today I have been for a long dog walk with my friend and delivered a big bag of goodies to our local food bank.
House is a mess, presents still to buy and nervous cat freaked out by the decs and general disorder has weed on the carpet (again) Poor thing is a rescue and loses the plot when anything out of the ordinary happens. Sigh.......

OP posts:
marvelousways · 20/12/2019 17:18

you are not alone. I really can not wiat for it all to be over. I did drag myself out for a 15 mile run today (marathon training!) which helped, but now have a jam packed weekend of "christmas fun" and also need to fit in house cleaning, food shopping, present wrapping......etc.... It has acrually reduced me to tears several times in the last couple of weeks. I actually really, really love january. Get all the decs down, give house a good clean and always buy a bunch of daffs to remind myself that Spring will not be far away, and back to normal routine. Love January!Grin

Hellvelyn · 20/12/2019 17:44

Yes to the daffs. I love those £1 bunches on my kitchen windowsill.

OP posts: