I think Christmas makes me a bit depressed

[Hellvelyn]

I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that the whole festive period makes me feel quite depressed. I feel bad because in reality I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about.
For context - I do have a tendency to depression and anxiety after a really unpleasant event many years ago. I have been on anti-depressants ever since but all is well controlled and I have a busy family life and a responsible job.
I just find myself wading through treacle from the beginning of November. I can't bear the excess, the waste, the pressure to give presents and hassle about what you want to receive. The enforced time with extended family for days on end, excessive food,the lack of routine. If I'm honest I think I just feel a bit overwhelmed and out of sorts. Years ago when I was in my teens I worked for a big high street store all over Christmas. I really liked it because I had an "excuse" to limit Xmas activities as I was working a lot. I may be one of the only people who looks forward to the beginning of January so everything can get back to normal. I work in a school and have just finished for two weeks and it is stretching out ominously in front of me. Anyone else out there experience anything similar? Just for the record, I am not a misery over Xmas spoiling everyone's fun. I do my best to be cheery and get on with things. God I must sound like such a spoilt brat!

Anyone else struggling today? I'm single & don't have any children (yet). I've been working but could easily have met up with friends due to nature of the job, like I have in previous years. Everyone's doing family stuff or working. I'm now sat home alone for a few hours & just want to cry. I dread this day every year!

Such a relief to read - I feel like I should love it - but in reality I find Xmas a massive drudge. It is only me and my two teens for Christmas Day and I am a lone parent. I love my kids but let’s just say they aren’t the most interactive at the mo - so Christmas Day will be a few pressies, roast and that is it!

I try not to be a fun sponge though as I know others love it - but for me, come on January!

I feel exactly the same op. I can't wait for January -everything gets back to normal, there's lots of sale bargains in the shops and it's my birthday!!

I feel similar, and started working during Christmas in my teens to avoid home- waitressing in a restaurant, which was quite fun, good tips!- to escape a fractious divorcing family. Since then it has never been a good time and I think maybe I would still work over it were it not for having my own DC...

It will soon be over and the days longer.

I know exactly what you mean OP, although I'm not depressed or anxious. I just find all the excess and enforced jollity and pressure to do certain things utterly tedious. I dream of being able to avoid Christmas once DH and I are retired. I plan to buy a flat somewhere warm and sunny and spend the entire winter there.

I split with my abusive ex earlier this year, and it's the first Christmas in a long time where I'm not treading on eggshells or worrying about a blow-up over something minor. I have cut as many corners as possible and so far, things feel manageable. I totally understand the overwhelmed feeling and wanting routine. When my dc are grown, I probably will scale back even more, with no tree or anything. I prefer routine for sure.

This is the thread I need right now!

I increasingly dislike sooo much about the Christmas period and would happily skip it. Have just been for a walk in the rain by myself and am now considering a holiday away from it all next year.

I get it to an extent but my father made Christmas miserable for me as a kid because he felt like this. It made me so sad.
I embrace it for my kids and now I really enjoy it. I avoid aspects I don't like.

You've hit the nail on the head with how I feel OP. You're not alone!

I absolutely understand! In case you fancy it here's a link to a thread I started re tomorrow

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirtydayss_only/3775933-christmas-agony-aunt-available

You are not alone. The forced contact with the IN laws has truly made me dread Christmas. I often work it now as a escape from them.

Hate it. I always think I'll have my shit together and have a great Christmas like every other bugger seems to have but in reality it's shit. I'm still fat, lonely and skint!

Its so telling as well that around 75% of people I've told about choosing a solo Christmas Day have said they are jealous and would love it too. Forced fun is too much pressure!

I don't begrudge people who love Christmas at all, I think it's lovely they do. But for people who don't it's weird we are made to feel so bad for not getting all hyped up!

The biggest positive of my epilepsy is being able to use those effing flashing Christmas lights as an excuse for my grinchness

I love getting the kids in our family presents and putting pretend snow footprints out for them etc, I just don't like a lot of the other stuff.

Can't wait for my spag bol and Harry Potter marathon tomorrow ❤️❤️❤️

I've just burnt the fucking mince pies. Time for a G&T.

Same as you OP. Went to shops this eve in a seaside town to get last minute bottle of wine. Had a walk along the beach, thinking of all the people who I know have lost parents, siblings to suicide, and all.this self indulgence and excess and the other half of the world starving. Just for a day. Seems all wrong ?

I said to dp earlier that I'd be happy to have Christmas every other year. It just goes on and on. The first week in December is the nicest bit imo then it just gets progressively more frenetic until it reaches a painful max.

I hear you OP. I make an effort for my DCs but really I long for January. I long to get rid of all the clutter and get back to routines - though I feel ungrateful and very grinchy saying so.

I can't wait for January. I'm another one who fills the house with £1 daffs. I have had so little time since October really. This weekend I'm going to clean the house, declutter, buy new non Christmas scented candles. I cannot wait. I'm almost more excited for that than I am for tomorrow.

I don't know what's happened recently, I used to adore Christmas and still get that feeling when I hear certain carols for the first time in December. But this last few years, I don't know.

My children are a range of ages, so I have so many things to go to, from nursery nativities to the teenager's orchestra performance, and although it's lovely to see the children, I have severe anxiety around being in crowds, so these events drain me massively. As well as that, I also work in a school and I see a recurring theme from PP about that.

Basically there's so many things I "have" to go to, that it leaves no time for the things I actually want to do- walks in nature, baking, watching Christmas movies, just sitting looking at the tree and listening to King's College with a glass of mulled wine. The peace and rest has totally gone, and I feel that it's such an important part of the season for me- I need to pull in during the darkest time of the year. Add a few bugs and viruses and I'm just over the whole thing. Sad really. I'm going to pare it back as much as I can next year.

January though... Used to despise it. But now it feels like a fresh, clean new start every year

My mood is starting to lift now it's almost over!

Me too @northernstars - the day has actually been lovely in the end with family and food etc - but I'm delighted it's nearly over! Can't wait to go back to normal.

I'm with you OP. I totally identify with the wading through treacle feeling from when the clocks go back until the end of January basically.

Lots of historic reasons for this. Like you, I do lots of work for it, go along with it and do all that is asked of me, but actually don't really get it.

It's just so exhausting. DC are overwhelmed with gifts from very well meaning relatives but it's basically a pile of stuff they are ignoring because they don't know what to do with it all.

DD is still young enough she needs a nap and I used the excuse that she wouldn't settle to go up and nap with her earlier just to get a break. Have managed to limit presents to me to jist two joint ones from PIL to DH and me so that's helped.

The only thing I wanted to do was go to Midnight Mass and I couldn't. That meant I didn't get my alone time and my peace last night so I've been tense and miserable all day.

So many of these posts I could have written myself. It's very reassuring actually that there's not something a bit wrong with me!
OK day today with DH and the teenage DCs. Tomorrow we are hosting 5 members of DH's family, then on Friday everyone to the in-laws and being joined by more family. Then a day to draw breath and my family arrive for 2 nights.
Hate hate hate the loss of routine, continual focus on food and pressure to be all jolly when I just want it all to be finished and buy some lovely daffs for my windowsill

I'm feeling very miserable right now. But then I've been feeling miserable for awhile now.

Reading with interest.