I think Christmas makes me a bit depressed

[Hellvelyn]

I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that the whole festive period makes me feel quite depressed. I feel bad because in reality I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about.
For context - I do have a tendency to depression and anxiety after a really unpleasant event many years ago. I have been on anti-depressants ever since but all is well controlled and I have a busy family life and a responsible job.
I just find myself wading through treacle from the beginning of November. I can't bear the excess, the waste, the pressure to give presents and hassle about what you want to receive. The enforced time with extended family for days on end, excessive food,the lack of routine. If I'm honest I think I just feel a bit overwhelmed and out of sorts. Years ago when I was in my teens I worked for a big high street store all over Christmas. I really liked it because I had an "excuse" to limit Xmas activities as I was working a lot. I may be one of the only people who looks forward to the beginning of January so everything can get back to normal. I work in a school and have just finished for two weeks and it is stretching out ominously in front of me. Anyone else out there experience anything similar? Just for the record, I am not a misery over Xmas spoiling everyone's fun. I do my best to be cheery and get on with things. God I must sound like such a spoilt brat!

I hate it too OP. The waste, the stress, the enforced "happiness". I'm probably damaged by the fact my parents historically have had huge rows at Xmas and the family dynamics have not been ideal for many many years. I shudder at the thought of it!

I think lots feel this way OP, I have a busy Christmas Day with lots of people around, then Boxing Day totally to myself and I love it, that balance works for me as I get to recharge on B Day, one day of festivities is enough thank you!

I hate it from November on, not only christmas but the short days, the weather, I was designed to hibernate until Feb, Take plenty of Vit D and try and get out in the fresh air even in the rain. It will all be done soon for another year hip hip

I am 100pc with you. It's the enforced jollity, happiness and excitement we all required to project that I can't stand. And if you say you hate Christmas you're an abnormal killjoy Scrooge.

I just grit my teeth and somehow get through it. I'm happy when it's 27th December and I love NYE which we spend in front of the TV with plenty of food and drink, watch the fireworks at midnight, dance and sing to Auld Lang. and then I go to bed!

And yes, the excess, plastic tat, and waste repulse me. Luckily my DCs and nephews are all teens now so we just exchange cash for presents. The adults don't do gifts.

Also the idea of special treats and indulgent food being eaten only at Christmas is a joke. Most people have treats, indulgences, eat out etc all year round which makes Christmas not in the least bit special.

I feel the same about Christmas, though I suspect I don’t get it quite as bad (no actual depression). All of the things already mentioned get to me too - enforced jollity, falseness, waste. With me I think there is also an element of SAD so getting outside in the daylight hours helps me.

This year, I have a three week old baby. Although that is an amazing experience, the lack of sleep, hormones and baby blues are just adding to the Christmas blues and SAD. I’m feeling guilty about not enjoying the time with my baby more. I’m getting out in the day when I can but my usually therapy - running - is not an option.

LexCake - you really need to take care of yourself. I had my first dc in mid November 17 years ago) and it was the perfect excuse to remove myself from much of the Xmas nonsense. For once I just let everyone else do the running around. If your baby blues persist have a chat with your HV or GP. It's such an overwhelming time, especially when you add Xmas into the mix. The great thing is that your dc will be interactive and more mobile in the spring and summer months. You'll be constantly out and about enjoying the fresh air with your little one.

The week after Christmas is weird - neither one thing nor the other - but by January 2, I feel 'clean' - the enforced jollity all behind me, the longest possible distance between me and the next bloody Christmas, and I can start looking for signs of spring. I used to love it; now I manage it by editing it down to a bare minimum.

Another one here counting down the days until it's all over for another year. I can't help feeling that the people who really love Christmas are the ones who are unsatisfied with their 'normal' lives.

I’m with you too. I start off in November not minding the thought of Christmas, I like the lights in the streets and a few festive occasions. But now I’m fed up, want it over, not looking forward to the week of visits to us and us to other people , all the rich food, enforced proximity to people! I’ll put on weight, I’ll end up drinking because it’s the thing to do, I don’t normally drink, it goes on too long. I do all the shopping, food and presents and the quantity makes me feel sick! I won’t show it though. Brave happy face.

First of all- Cool username as I just so happen to be able to see Helvellyn from my bedroom window!

Second- I agree with you. The huge amount of waste and effort for the sake one day of the year.
The social aspects.
Basically just the ‘faff’ of it all.

I think I’d rather not have Xmas and instead it be a thing to buy a random gift for someone you like at any point in time- however many times you like and for there to be no need for it to be reciprocated

Yes, always relieved when it's over. Dislike new year's eve as well.

I just grit my teeth, get on with it, and look forward to it all being over. We go out, visit family and eat out on the big day, have a quiet one on Boxing Day (maybe go to cinema) and hey presto it's over! Just NY Eve after that

I share your pain OP. You are not alone.

I think Christmas will start becoming more low key several years down the line if mnet is anything to go by.
That can only be for the good.
I’ve just come back from the Canary isles , so low key over there. Lots of glorious sunshine, longer days...but for a catholic country ...it’s just not rammed down your throat.

I’m happy to be back for Christmas to be with my fabulous family but I do love our pre Christmas break

You are definitely not alone.... I dread it each year. I love the build up but the day before, the day & day after fills me with dread. No particular reason why. I dread nye & nyd too. I find it all upsetting. Roll on January when normality resumes. I'm by no means a bah humbug. I just do it all with a fake smile whilst hurting on the inside.

Thanks very much @Hellvelyn. You’re right - I’m going to see how the next few days go and talk to HV in the New Year if necessary. I’m hoping that in January it will be easier to look forward to the Spring. Also, my DP will have gone back to work but whilst I’ll miss him I’m looking forward to joining new groups with DD.

Lots of people feel like this.

I am with you.

I like the time with family, don't mind the food and cooking, quite like carols but can't bear the shopping, expectations, pressure to have the best time etc.

I like buying presents for people - but only when I see something I think they would love - then I want to give it to them straight away - not wait for a particular day in the year.

I hate decorating the house up with tut - only to have to take it all down again a couple of weeks later! If I have twinkly lights I want to have them up all year!

I feel the same, so glad it's not just me! My 3 year old has been ill too I think she is overwhelmed with it all bless her. Roll on summer

I hate Christmas now. My Dd died 4yrs ago she loved Christmas. Dd2 is so excited about Santa so I need to put on a happy face for her.
From the beginning of December I start to wish it was all over.
Today Dd2 and I went to the cemetery. Looking about at all the Christmas wreaths there made me feel even worse.
January can't come quick enough for me.

Parkhead I'm so sorry for your loss, thinking of you and hope that you get through this Christmas as best you can

Me too. My childhood Christmases were filled with tension and arguments, fuelled by my father's drinking and my mother's resentment at having to make everything happen with no help from him. I think that set me up to be quite negative about it all, although I try to keep those thoughts to myself as I don't want to spoil it for others.
Also, from November I have SAD and feel like hibernating.

I'd like to go abroad and stay there in the sun for the whole winter, but that isn't an option. So, I go out for a long walk every day to get some daylight and fresh air, and I use a special SAD lamp when I get up. I take Vitamin D through the winter to compensate for the lack of sunshine.

We keep Christmas decorations minimal - just a small tree with a few fairy lights dotted around. We keep the card list minimal too - no cards to distant relatives we hardly know and never see, no cards to people we don't socialise with - if we don't like them enough to socialise with them throughout the year, there's no point in maintaining contact by Christmas card once a year. Also, no cards to neighbours - it's silly when you can just wish them happy Christmas in person, when/if you see them. But we send cards to close friends and buy special cards for certain older relatives who really love receiving them.

This year DH and I will be on our own, and we plan to just eat, drink and slob out in front of the TV, after a long walk. I'm looking forward to the Gavin & Stacey special, and will probably watch Love Actually (for about the 20th time!) and other feel good movies. We won't have a Walton Family style Christmas, because neither of us have that type of family, but it could be worse. I always feel better in January, when the days start to lengthen and I look forward to spring.

But you don't have to do these things if you don't want? I have two weeks off work too. Currently in the Lake District walking and reading. Having Xmas dinner tomorrow with my family as they are not about on the 25th and then the rest of the time will be more walking and reading spend your time off work as you see fit. You don't have to go to the shops and eat lots of you don't want.

@thatmustbenigelwiththebrie, what if one of you hates it but the other one enjoys it?

I hate it but DH likes it. I've always made an effort until now for his and DCs sake. But this year I'm just exhausted and don't have the energy to make an effort.

Your Christmas sounds like it would perfect for me. How are you able to do that? Do you have DH/DCs?

The only way I could do that was if we didn't have DCs I think, in which case I'd just go to Thailand for 2 weeks probably. Or the Maldives...