Bananas are lying bastards

[OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg]

They sit there, all yellow and pristine and smug and tempting. You give in to their allure, gently peel one open and what do you find? Mush! Big patches of brown mush.

I want to report this latest mendacious lying banana bastard to Trading Standards for false advertising. And I'm still hungry.

Brown banana

Exactly puds. And somehow it's worse coming from an outwardly immaculately yellow banana. I feel betrayed.

Make banana cake! It's the only language those bastards understand.

Hmm, would it be classed as cruel and unusual punishment to stick a photo of a banana cake above the fruit bowl as a cautionary tale?

And they have the nerve to bring 8 legged illegal immigrants into our homes. Bastards.