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Original poster

Please give me some moral support

180 replies

marymungomidge · 19/12/2019 00:36

Hi all, I'm really struggling - I've just found out I have choroidal melanoma (nasty eye cancer that has a 50:50 chance of survival) and today I told my daughter. She is 24 but still lives with me because she is very unwell and I look after her. She is bright and beautiful and lovely and funny and so, so vulnerable. I am terrified about what may happen to her if I die. She is, understandably, reeling from the news, which I had tried to keep from her till I know more. She found me crying this morning, though, and something had to be said. I'm 53 and completely stunned by all this - life goes from, one minute, planning ahead and expecting another 20-30 years, to suddenly finding that it may come to a stop soon. I can't bear the thought of leaving my daughter. Please help.

OP posts:
hotstepper4 · 30/12/2019 22:40

Wishing you so much luck Mary

Nat6999 · 30/12/2019 22:44

If you are coming to Sheffield for treatment & need to know anything about accommodation if your daughter comes with you, I live in Sheffield & can recommend some places for you, I don't know if you will be in the Hallamshire or Weston Park but they are fairly close to each other & only 10 minutes from the city centre. At least transport links are good in the city centre, there are lots of cafes near the hospital if you want anything different to eat or a good cup of coffee. Sheffield has an excellent cancer support network & there are always staff from Cavendish House around to offer someone to talk to & help with anything you need to know.

Moomin37 · 30/12/2019 22:56

Just came across this thread and wanted to say you sound like such a lovely person and a wonderful mother. I'm so sorry you're going though this and glad all the messages are helping you at what must be an incredibly difficult time. I hope that tomorrow brings you answers and a clear way forward. We're all here for you whenever you need us :)

AudacityOfHope · 30/12/2019 23:00

OP I have just read this whole thread and wanted to send my love. You've got a lovely writing style, your last post gave me a little cosy glow. I hope you and your daughter are looking after each other xx

Babyroobs · 30/12/2019 23:19

Good luck for tomorrow. I worked at the Oncology hospital in Sheffield many years ago on the ward that does irridium treatment for ocular melanomas. I'm sure that the treatment has improved a lot since the 1990's, there are new treatments all the time. I work with cancer patients and am amazed by some of the fantastic results that people are having with new treatments particularly immunotherapy. Stay positive.

MarthasGinYard · 31/12/2019 00:14

Thinking of you

All the very best for tmrw Mary Thanks

Ginfordinner · 31/12/2019 08:30

Good luck Flowers

nononever · 31/12/2019 08:43

Good luck today Mary Flowers

StartupRepair · 31/12/2019 08:46

Go well today Mary.

Stinkyeddie · 31/12/2019 09:05

Thinking of you today mary
Xxxx

Beansandcoffee · 31/12/2019 09:10

Good luck for today xx

itsallamysterytome · 31/12/2019 09:25

Good luck for today xx

betaboo · 31/12/2019 09:27

Just came across your post, sending you lots of positive thoughts for today !

N0ManJan · 31/12/2019 10:09

Just finished reading this thread, you write so beautifully. I’ll be thinking of you today and holding you in the light Flowers

GinandGingerBeer · 31/12/2019 12:16

All the very best for today @mary.

Original poster
marymungomidge · 31/12/2019 14:58

Oh my gosh - thank you all of you - and here is the news: the prof at Sheffield thinks the optometrist and ophthalmologist were wrong :) He says there is NO lipofuscin and he doesn't think it is cancer :) He said their tests are not as in-depth as the ones he does and they have misinterpreted what they saw :) I can't believe how lucky I am! I am smiling ear to ear! He thinks the bumps are just moles, one of them unusually large, and I don't need to go back for four months :) I am so unbelievably lucky, I know.
I am also so incredibly grateful to all of you very lovely people who have supported me through a very difficult time - you made a huge difference to my peace of mind and ability to cope. What remarkable people you are - reaching out to a struggling stranger to offer comfort and compassion and support. I can't thank you enough. I'm still processing all of this, but at the moment I'm trying to reflect very much on my great good fortune in (a) not having cancer and (b) having rediscovered a sense of the innate goodness and connectedness of people, through your kindness. I will be thinking very much about how to harness and magnify the good that has come my way ... for example, I now know rather too much about this awful cancer, and can sympathise deeply with those who do have it, and will put that to good use by fundraising and raising awareness as much as I possibly can. It has also helped me to clarify the things that truly matter to me - DD, obviously, friendship, wild countryside, connectedness.
This has been one of the most difficult challenges I've ever had, and I am so grateful to all of you lovely people who have got me through it :) Please know that you have had a huge impact on my life, and I will carry your words and support with me for a long time to come.
To those of you who do have cancer and who have reached out to me - an especial thank you, and I will do what I can in the future to put my shoulder to the wheel of fundraising and campaigning. You have my very best wishes for the future, and deep gratitude.
To everyone - I wish you all the very best for 2020! I'll be planning a trip to New York with my daughter :) - and sticking with the healthy diet in the hope that I might get further into the wilds than I have recently - I shall be cross-country skiing in Finland next winter for sure! (Maybe a sponsored cross-country ski, to raise funds for uveal melanoma research.)
Thank you. Happy New Year.

OP posts:
Ginfordinner · 31/12/2019 15:16

What a fantastic update. I'm so happy for you.
Not wishing to derail the thread, but I had the results of a biopsy today, and learned that mine wasn't cancer either.

Happy new year Wine

PurpleBee39 · 31/12/2019 15:34

@marymungomidge - This is fantastic news, I am so pleased to hear this. You really deserve it, you come across as such a lovely person. One of your first thoughts is to help other people and raise money which shows how kind you are.
I wish you and your daughter the very best for the future x

hotstepper4 · 31/12/2019 15:41

This is just the best update. I bet you feel reborn. I bet Isobel is thrilled too. Congratulations, and happy new year

Biscuitsneeded · 31/12/2019 15:50

What brilliant news OP. That's really cheered up my day! So pleased for you, and I wish you an extremely happy 2020!

BuckingFrolics · 31/12/2019 15:52

That's wonderful. Thanks for sharing your great news!

justilou1 · 31/12/2019 16:02

Oh wow! That is the best news! Now you really CAN have a Happy New Year!

suggestionsplease1 · 31/12/2019 16:07

So pleased to hear this for both you and Ginfordinner.

You've been handed your life back and you see all the opportunities ahead.

(With a prayer for all those who may not have had such good news recently)

N0ManJan · 31/12/2019 16:10

Fabulous news OP! I hope you celebrate in style tonight

Stinkyeddie · 31/12/2019 16:20

Just so very happy fpr you!!!! xxxxxz