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Original poster

Relationship/someone else’s child

75 replies

Mammy7 · 17/12/2019 20:36

I’m in a relationship with my partner on/off for ten years, I have a 4 year old son and my partner really struggles with the fact I have a child with someone else it’s causes masses of arguments and awkwardness. I love him so much I love both of them I feel so torn. What can I do? Has anyone experienced this? My partner blows very hot and cold with me to the point now i am cracking up! But the anxiety I get at the thought of being with out him goes through the roof! Why I don’t know. Thoughts and peoples experiences?

OP posts:
rudolfsquiffy · 17/12/2019 20:38

Your partner sounds very immature, does he have a good relationship with your son?

Solongtoshort · 17/12/2019 20:42

Life’s to short to have someone blowing hot and cold. Find someone else.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 17/12/2019 20:48

Your partner needs to make up his mind to accept your child fully or go. This atmosphere must be very harmful for your little one.

I don't think children should always come first but in this case he must.

Isadora2007 · 17/12/2019 20:50

Off and on for 10 years is a waste of your time and his. Clearly if your 5 year old isn’t his and he has an issue with this-the relationship should be over. It’s not meant to be. He sounds like a prick.

Shoxfordian · 17/12/2019 20:53

Your partner is a jealous insecure knob
Dump him

Stompythedinosaur · 17/12/2019 21:16

I'd leave your partner.

You and your son are really a 2 for 1 deal.

Original poster
Mammy7 · 17/12/2019 21:16

He doesn’t have any kind of relationship with my son, my partner works away most of the time and when he comes back my son is most likely at his dads or grandparents. So he doesn’t see him anyway so I don’t know how he can have an issue it’s making my life so hard.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammy7 · 17/12/2019 21:17

Thanks for the replies

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammy7 · 17/12/2019 21:27

Too add..for two months he has said he is booking our Christmas dinner out however he never did and he rang out the blue last week from work and said he has booked himself to go away to Spain for the whole of the Christmas period on his own which left me gobsmacked and slightly distraught! Was I over reacting? I told all my family I had plans with him over Christmas so they have made their own plans so now I am left by myself over Christmas he can’t get his head around why I was so upset...think I’ve only just stopped crying since last Sunday! I mean can I even mean anything to him he says he loves me but how can he.

OP posts:
puds11 · 17/12/2019 21:29

I really think you’re wasting your time with him and your life would be infinitely better without him.

Whattodoabout · 17/12/2019 21:33

You’re wasting your time with him. He sounds like a total man child, your 5 year old is probably more mature.

Justmuddlingalong · 17/12/2019 21:33

He doesn't love you. He treats you and your son like shite. Set your bar higher. Dump him now and make the start of the new year/decade a clean slate.

ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 17/12/2019 21:36

Surely you want to spend christmas with you're child? I'm not being funny but it's all about you're partner where does youre son come in all of this? He deserves to have someone in his life who shows him respect he deserves not disregards and ignores shame on you for even allowing this waste of space to be in you're life.

Mintjulia · 17/12/2019 21:37

The man is horrible to you. He’s trying to separate you from your child. He’s playing nasty minded games. Just dump him and have a lovely life with your child.

ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 17/12/2019 21:38

Are you telling me you ship you're son off to his dad and his grandparents when you're dp returns.

Original poster
Mammy7 · 17/12/2019 21:39

My son spends all of Christmas with me and goes away Christmas afternoon to his dads for two days as he always has since he was born.

OP posts:
CeCeLaine66 · 17/12/2019 21:44

You are never going to have any meaningful relationship with this bloke, He’s made his feelings perfectly clear, that he will never accept your son. Cut your losses now and don’t waste any more time on this dickhead!

ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 17/12/2019 21:44

So you're not on you're own over Christmas you're with you're son but that's not good enough. You cry over this waste of space who dislikes you're own flesh and blood, it's pretty disgusting my DH took on ds since he was 2 I would never have continued a relationship if he treated my son like this.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 17/12/2019 21:49

He's a horrible person, using you. You deserve better.

CeCeLaine66 · 17/12/2019 21:51

He doesn’t have much respect for you either, if he can arrange to go away without telling you. You are not being unreasonable to be upset but would be unreasonable to put up with his Shitty behaviour towards you and your son.

Original poster
Mammy7 · 17/12/2019 21:52

Of course being with my son is priority at Christmas but my partner should also want to be with me (the so called person he loves). I don’t know if I’m being dramatic by wanting that by wanting to feel wanted off him.

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 17/12/2019 21:52

Based on your update, your partner is a nasty piece of work who doesn't value you.

He's not bothered by your son. He just uses your son's existence as a stick to beat you with, so you are always trying to gain his approval. This is abusive behaviour, OP.

Free yourself and your little boy.

Cookit · 17/12/2019 21:53

Put your child first and end this.

Original poster
Mammy7 · 17/12/2019 22:25

Thank u for your replies I’m going to take them all on board.

OP posts:
ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 17/12/2019 22:49

Woman up and stop fawning over this man for goodness sake he treats you're son like a second class citizen and you're more bothered about ypure relationship

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