How can I stop being angry?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I've been angry for a couple of days for no reason. If I'm not having an argument with someone, either online or in real life, I'm imagining an argument in my head or suppressing one. The only explanation I can think of is tiredness, but I can't force myself to sleep for 12 hours.
Exercise and a sauna Friday night didn't help.
Any tips?

@Orangeblossom78 I don't mean the only thing that leads to anger is shame - injustice would certainly do it as well, but shame also does. I work with serious offenders and many of them have carried out acts of extreme violence linked with feelings of shame. Many different things can cause anger, many different things can lead to violence, and yes anger can result in shame.. but shame can be one of those things that creates a really powerful rage.

PMT can change the older we get. My PMT is changing rapidly. I used to get the rage a few days before my period.

Now I get Insomnia instead.

I now get the rage a few days after my period and when ovulating mid cycle. Ive been marking it on my calendar, its horrible.

"I have heard omega 3 fish oil can be calming though"

Interesting. I used to take omega 3 capsules, but now I take cod liver oil, mainly for dry skin.

"I'm actually having the arguments in my head and remembering arguments on social media over the last couple of days, replaying them over and over

Who do you argue with on social media ? Friends or strangers ? I can't help thinking that this kind of online arguing can escalate into something far nastier than anything in real life. Maybe it would help to take a holiday from SM or at least a break from online argument. ."

I argue both with strangers and with real-life friends. With strangers doesn't matter so much, but with real life people it's bad. I had a social thing today and had to go at the end of it to avoid someone I'd offended on social media.
Anyway, I've had a really good day.
Christmas shopping and then pub with friends. No arguments, no stress.
Could be being less tired, less constipated, or more likely the valium I took after people were talking about anxiety :)

As for social media, there's good and bad in it. My social life is organised through it so I can't give it up. I also get my news through it. I do need to learn not to argue on it, but giving it up completely is not an option.

"Maybe you are absorbing the angry atmosphere of the UK right now. The election and Brexit looming is stress-inducing."

This is definitely part of it.
Arguments with Brexiteers (I'm a Remainer) and arguments with other Remainers who have totally different opinions on the way forward. Tensions between different political parties in cross-party groups. And finally, the dread of Brexit happening soon.

However, while that's an issue, I've had anger problems on and off all my life so there's something else I need to look at and work on. It's not just politics, it's more personal than that.

I don't want to start any kind of political discussion by the way - had enough of that - just giving context and answering the question.

"But, I do think diet has a huge impact on how people feel and their wellbeing. I also notice a significant difference in my mood when I eat more vegetables and less crap."

I can accept that. I've been eating badly recently, mostly just bread and cheese and that doesn't help the digestion, which then can affect my mood.
I do take on board the suggestions for mindfulness, yoga, drinking less alcohol and caffeine, just feel that they're more long term solutions. New year's resolutions maybe :)

"They have an issue with rage - they clench their fists and grind their teeth and march up and down whilst imagining arguing with someone. "

I go through phases of grinding my teeth in my sleep - not now thankfully because it causes terrible neck, shoulder and back pain.
The marching up and down I can imagine doing at home alone or somewhere quiet, but wouldn't do it in public.
I can empathise with the imagined slights aspect of it as well. I do get that feeling sometimes.
There's no post-trauma for me though.

"talk to friends, join a political party - do something to exercise your brain so it's not stewing in internet arguments."

I tend to talk to friends on social media or to arrange real-life meetups on social media!
I'm already in a political party - it causes as many arguments as anything else because it attracts hot-headed people like myself!

"I now get the rage a few days after my period and when ovulating mid cycle. Ive been marking it on my calendar, its horrible."

This is interesting. I noticed a while ago that I tended to get angry about a week before my period and then it would calm down and the days immediately before would be a bit emotional, but not necessarily 'angry'.
However, I'm on day 18 now, so that doesn't explain it really.

It's interesting that you are so dismissive of the idea of thinking about others rather than yourself. Do chores for other people? You can't think of anything worse.

Other people seem to be your source of anger. Often, when we are not very happy with our lives, or we don't like ourselves, we look for people to blame. It's THEM, it's THEIR fault, not mine. If you can't realistically blame other people for the way you feel inside, how do you know you are not really angry with yourself?

Could it be related to the low light levels? always gets me more angry than usual. That, combined with your slightly worse than usual diet, and all the stress of the time of year, plus the political things, PLUS add social media to that - sounds like a very toxic mix. No wonder you're angry.

Get outside at light times if at all possible, get some exercise, stay OFF social media, eat better and give yourself a break!

"It's interesting that you are so dismissive of the idea of thinking about others rather than yourself. Do chores for other people? You can't think of anything worse."

On the weekend, no. I work full time and I think I should be allowed to rest on the weekend. Luckily, I live alone so don't have to do much housework, but there's still some and I also need to go out with friends or I get really down. I don't have much time to go doing extra volunteering work.
Even if you think I should go on a litter pick, the idea that it would make me less angry's very strange to me. It's like if I was called in to work on a Sunday - it would make me more angry, not less.

"Other people seem to be your source of anger. "
No, you've misunderstood there.

"Get outside at light times if at all possible, get some exercise, stay OFF social media, eat better and give yourself a break!"

I will have time off over Christmas so will be able to get outside at light times more often then.
I didn't know about darkness making you angry - more familiar with the idea that it makes you sad (SAD).

I can't go off social media as I've explained above as it's how my social life is organised and how I get news.

Not suggesting a litter pick. Just turning your focus outwards a bit from your needs to being part of something wider, or helping someone else, just because you can.
How have I misunderstood about being angry at other people? (I might have but I don't see how)You are talking about arguments, being passed off at shop assistants, people annoying you?
You remind me of a friend of mine. She's very angry with things that are just part of normal life. Having to work full time, flat being too small, people on the bus. Really she's disappointed in how her life has turned out and knows she has no one to blame but herself. It's a pretty common feeling!

"How have I misunderstood about being angry at other people? "

I'm just angry in general so yes it can sometimes be directed at other people. On Saturday, for example, I felt car sick on what should have been a very straight forward journey. I was angry about that, but it wasn't directed at anyone.

"She's very angry with things that are just part of normal life. Having to work full time, flat being too small, people on the bus. Really she's disappointed in how her life has turned out and knows she has no one to blame but herself. It's a pretty common feeling!"

No, that's not me. That sounds like a dissatisfaction with her life in general. Mine is more that someone will say something that I disagree with, I will then disagree, then they react and it escalates, kind of thing. Then because I've had an argument, this will be replayed in my head for a while.

I mentioned elsewhere that I'm pretty happy with my life in general - I like my job at the moment, for example.

On Saturday, I did get grumpy about every single thing in the shops, but had no such problem yesterday so I think some of it is biological i.e. how I feel in myself, lack of sleep, stomach troubles, etc.

Well I read in menopause it is common to get fed up of the stage of looking after others and tend to focus on ourselves and our needs more. I understand about not being keen to heap more caring stuff on our plates. I am unsure why this always seems to be suggested on here as a solution

Tired and angry,that equates to my day yesterday!!i am putting it down to the run up to Xmas jobs,shoping etc I was questioning why I was so angry and snappy yesterday.. And i figure I am just tired so going to do my own thing this week,,drink loads of water,no sugar,and read before bed time..I need quite and space when I get snappy..

Orange - I dispute the suggestion that I'm peri-menopausal as I have no other symptoms and periods are 100% regular.

I don't have children so don't have a history of looking after other people at all really.

My indignation at being told I should be helping other people at the weekends is just that I believe I'm entitled to some down time to do my own chores, rest and see friends. I had Christmas shopping to do this weekend as I explained many times and wanted some rest as well. I definitely don't think that more work would help!

OK, a sort of generalised anger but not always at other people. I get you.
What kind of stuff are you disagreeing with people about though? Is this online or in RL? Is it politics?
RE the helping people; it's not so much about physically doing things for people. More about lifting you out of focusing on your own feelings all the time.

Yes definitely having some me time is good. I get angry when I don't have enough

Oh my god, I could have written this on Saturday. I was SO ANGRY too. Unfortunately my step mil has got it in the neck from me.

"I could have written this on Saturday. I was SO ANGRY too"

I've been much better since then. Maybe there was low pressure on Saturday or something.