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Original poster

How can I stop being angry?

97 replies

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2019 20:36

I've been angry for a couple of days for no reason. If I'm not having an argument with someone, either online or in real life, I'm imagining an argument in my head or suppressing one. The only explanation I can think of is tiredness, but I can't force myself to sleep for 12 hours.
Exercise and a sauna Friday night didn't help.
Any tips?

OP posts:
RockingAroundTheXMasTree · 15/12/2019 10:32

I’d also say possibly Peri-menopause. Ask your GP for a hormone profile. Other than that, anxiety and/or depression can cause irritability. You did mention feeling anxious... Are you on or would you consider taking ADs?

beautifulstranger101 · 15/12/2019 10:40

Agree that fear is behind anger usually. Next time you feel like that, try to observe your anger as if from a 3rd perspective. Acknowledge your anger, as in, "wow- that really riled me up and made me feel angry- what's behind that?" Try to observe and accept the feeling, rather than fighting it. With a little quiet internal self reflection, we usually get the answer about the root of the feeling. There are lots of books on amazon about how to deal with anger- check those out.

Orangeblossom78 · 15/12/2019 10:42

Do you have a history of depression? I find St Johns wort quite helpful. I take it in the morning and it makes me a little bit more mellow. Just a bit. I am trying not to drink to lesson the rage as it can make me feel worse after / next day

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 15/12/2019 10:45

I feel like this currently op
Fell like I don't have a fuse iyswim
I think I'm exhausted and all "peopled out"
Thankfully DH and the kids are away and I have barely spoken to anyone since they left
That is helping hugely
Can you take a bit of time out alone to recharge before the madness?

Orangeblossom78 · 15/12/2019 10:47

I alos find being away from people can help for a bit

Thestrangestthing · 15/12/2019 10:56

I get the same thing OP. I can't really pin point it to a certain time of month, or anything that has triggered it. Just as you describe, I have arguments with people in my head, I go over old arguments, I also get a bit obsessive about things. It is extremely stressful and I've still never managed to come up with a way to stop it. Just have to ride it out and it does eventually pass. This sounds ridiculous but I even sometimes feel as though my body is angry, just agitated all the time. It's hard to describe.

Orangeblossom78 · 15/12/2019 10:58

My Dh said the other day if it is normal to have a wife who looks like they might want to hit you in the face

Orangeblossom78 · 15/12/2019 11:01

Yes just like thestrangest says - I do this also it is very annoying just like pops up all the time then you ruminate on it making yourself crosser. I have tried for this - feeling grateful for whatever it is not being there anymore / not affecting me now or whatever, - trying to think of it like the weather / mindfulness. Like clouds in your head. Distraction.

None of it helps much though to be honest

JuneSpoon · 15/12/2019 11:09

Magnesium is meant to help. I can't remember why though

JuneSpoon · 15/12/2019 11:10

Would you try to go to a funny film in the cinema and treat yourself to your cinema snack of choice?
Though I have to admit, people talking in the cinema, going on their phones and rustling plastic gives me the rage so maybe not

VioletCharlotte · 15/12/2019 11:12

In addition to what I posted earlier, try B vitamin complex. These are the only supplements that seem to make a difference really quickly.

Hazardexhausted · 15/12/2019 11:12

Hope the christmas shopping does the trick for you OP. If nothing else it'll be one thing off the to-do list.

Original poster
Gwenhwyfar · 15/12/2019 11:15

June - I find the cinema too cold and sitting for hours uncomfortable. I did enjoy my film and couple of drinks last night though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gwenhwyfar · 15/12/2019 11:17

"You did mention feeling anxious... Are you on or would you consider taking ADs?"

I'd rather not since I don't feel depressed. In some ways, I'm the happiest I've been for a while.

OP posts:
SpiderCharlotte · 15/12/2019 11:19

I was like this last weekend and I had no idea why. Everybody and everything was just pissing me right off!

I sat down and made a list of all the reasons I have not to be angry. It helped a bit.

missyB1 · 15/12/2019 11:19

When I’m like that I give the house a big clean and declutter and promise myself a treat for when I’m finished. If nothing else at least I have a sense of achievement - and a clean house! There has to be no one else around though because if anyone gets in my way I am likely to kill them.

Original poster
Gwenhwyfar · 15/12/2019 11:20

"I’d also say possibly Peri-menopause."

No symptoms to point to this though except for the anger, which I've had on and off through my life.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gwenhwyfar · 15/12/2019 11:20

"When I’m like that I give the house a big clean and declutter and promise myself a treat for when I’m finished. "

Just the thought of having to do housework gives me the rage. I don't do it every weekend and I did it last weekend, so doesn't need doing now.

OP posts:
PlasticPatty · 15/12/2019 11:21

Ramipril.

Orangeblossom78 · 15/12/2019 11:24

Some of this advice sounds like my MIL she recommended ironing Hmm

Panpastels · 15/12/2019 11:25

Is this thread making you angry? Wink

I felt like this when I took steroids recently - wanted to rip people's heads off. But I have felt like that at other times too, usually my form of feeling depressed is to feel irritated. I wish I knew the answer but I do try and force myself to take other perspectives when I feel angry with someone. As someone said some B vitamins might also help.

IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory · 15/12/2019 11:28

Ironing can be quite therapeutic. For some people. If it doesn’t work for you- no problem. Doesn’t mean it’s a bad suggestion. People are trying to help.

beautifulstranger101 · 15/12/2019 11:31

OP- what things currently dont fill you with rage? (not being snarky) I just mean- what things relax you and make you feel peaceful? Can you try to incorporate more relaxing activities into your day? plan some nice, enjoyable things to do? I find having something to look forward to helps me focus less on the crappy things in life. Taking time out every day for relaxation isn't a magic bullet but it WILL have an effect over time. Also, try epsom salt baths- they contain magnesium which lowers blood pressure and induces a feeling of calmness.

TheWorldAsh · 15/12/2019 11:33

Try Mindfulness. It's a good practice for many things.

www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X

granadagirl · 15/12/2019 11:36

Anxiety can make you angry, do you suffer from this?

I went shopping yesterday nightmare
So so packed in Sainsbury’s
Queuing!!! Blaring music
I came back worse than I went out
10 days to xmas and it was like food was going out of fashion
And they’ll all be there again next week