How can I stop being angry?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I've been angry for a couple of days for no reason. If I'm not having an argument with someone, either online or in real life, I'm imagining an argument in my head or suppressing one. The only explanation I can think of is tiredness, but I can't force myself to sleep for 12 hours.
Exercise and a sauna Friday night didn't help.
Any tips?

I tend to feel more irritable and angry as a side effect of anxiety or mild depression. Or if I’ve been procrastinating about something, like deavoiding sorting out tax returns until the last minute, and it’s nagging away at the back of my mind.
Or as a side effect of something physical like feeling unwell or exhausted. I’ve got a rotten cold at the minute and I’m feeling a lot less tolerant of minor irritations than usual.

Posted too soon - I was going to add that it might be helpful to try and figure out if there’s something in particular at the bottom of your anger, and seeing if there’s anything constructive you can do about that?

Have you had a lot of nights out? Dinners/ drinks etc? Totally normal for this time of year, but I find it really dulls the mood afterwards with hangovers and sluggishness.

"OP- what things currently dont fill you with rage? (not being snarky) "

I'm fine with everything until I either have an argument or imagine or remember having one.
As I said, I tried exercise and sauna afterwards. Sauna is much more relaxing than a bath for me, so if the relaxation from a sauna doesn't work well, then a bath definitely wouldn't.

So far, I'm feeling much better today, had some sleep and stayed in to relax this evening. Will have to see how it goes once I'm in contact with people.

"Is this thread making you angry? wink"

No, but some of the suggestions come close to it. Going out to pick up litter...
But I realise that different things relax different people...

Singing long to something like this is the kind of thing that un-stresses me, but I'd have to do it for a long time and then the better mood would wear off (just like exercise)

To those who've asked if I suffer from anxiety - I'd say I'm an anxious person rather than 'I suffer from an anxiety' i.e. it's not currently at a level where I would speak to a doctor about it. I do have an old box of valium, maybe I should take one...

Stop eating meat and cut down on dairy. Red meat in particular makes people angry.

What's that based on mindproject? I was vegetarian for a long time and I haven't seen that change. It doesn't sound evidence-based to me.

And I haven't eaten red meat for a while.

I am veggie too and still angry. I have heard omega 3 fish oil can be calming though

Op, I’ve had pent up angry feeling since partner came home from gym!
2.5hrs ago.
I feel it in my stomach and chest, I’m looking at partner now and thinking shut up 🤐 your speaking too loud
(I feel terrible as he’s done nothing)
I’m not menopausal, I’m 62
I hate it when I’m like this,
I get angry at people for being happy,
Able to do things that I find hard to do, I can’t even be bothered to talk and think sometimes am I bitter and twisted

I do suffer from anxiety though, but didn’t wake up with any.
I can just feel it building up literally
Just mentioned it to dp and he’s just said
Not being funny, but why don’t you think off taking up boxing
Red rag to a bull
He’s gone out now(probably out off my way to his mums) I can’t handle shit talk today

So I’m alone, don’t know if that’s what I really want either!
I sympathise with you, it’s a horrible feeling and I haven’t been able to conquer it and pretend everything is ok and happy as Larry (so hard to do)

Posted to soon

Watching with interest for tips
Not the get involved ones
(defo not me)

Boxing actually Boxercise could be good!

Swimming helps me a bit. Have to make myself go though. Switching off for a bit

My Gp said it would release endorphins which is the helpful thing

I'm actually having the arguments in my head and remembering arguments on social media over the last couple of days, replaying them over and over

Who do you argue with on social media ? Friends or strangers ? I can't help thinking that this kind of online arguing can escalate into something far nastier than anything in real life. Maybe it would help to take a holiday from SM or at least a break from online argument. .

I think you sound over stimulated, what with the Christmas shopping, online arguments, not being able to tolerate people in shops or doing yet another thing for somebody else. Saunas can be very stimulating as well, as is exercise.

How about doing the complete reverse? No lights this evening, no noise if possible, warm bath with all the lights out, straight to bed with no lights?

If you're suffering from sensory overload, it's common to feel angry because you want it all to stop/you're under attack from noise, smells, lights, movement, demands, etc, etc - a period of sensory deprivation actually helps some people where activity doesn't.

Maybe you are absorbing the angry atmosphere of the UK right now. The election and Brexit looming is stress-inducing.

I think meat does make people more angry, I have read that it does. I noticed when I want from being vegetarian to vegan I noticed a real sense of calm, but also more energy. It's probably not the same for everyone.

But, I do think diet has a huge impact on how people feel and their wellbeing. I also notice a significant difference in my mood when I eat more vegetables and less crap.

Also, get enough sleep.

You really remind me of a member of my family. They have an issue with rage - they clench their fists and grind their teeth and march up and down whilst imagining arguing with someone. It can be entirely imagined, imagining different (angry, defensive) ends to situations that were actually ok, or remembering historical conflicts. It can also be based on them feeling like they've been wronged or disrespected by people, especially senior people at their workplace. I've talked to them about it loads over the years, and I reckon it is anxiety, based on a post-traumatic reaction to being in a situation of extreme threat historically. When their feelings of anxiety defensiveness and rage (to fight physically to protect themselves) come up, from the past if they are reminded or just randomly, they can find anything makes them angry or if there really isn't anything they imagine something which they focus the feelings on. The only thing that ever appears to have helped, is running outside until tiredness sets in and they are too burned out to feel angry anymore, and doing the breathing exercises on YouTube - although if they are feeling angry when I suggest either of those things the are instantly and ragefully shot down until they've reflected on it for a while!

Anger doesn't just have to come from fear, anxiety and threat though. It can also come, very powerfully, from shame. Shame is excruciating to experience and can spill out as anger.

I am veggie too and still angry.

Me too, especially these last few days

OP, get off social media for a bit. No one has ever changed their mind through being angrily argued with on Twitter no matter how wrong they are, so you're making yourself feel worse for no reason. Read a book, talk to friends, join a political party - do something to exercise your brain so it's not stewing in internet arguments.

I think anger stems from injustice personally, rather than shame

Although as women we can feel shame for feeling angry as women in the past have not been allowed to express it

I second the suggestion to come off social media - and all forms of media for that matter.
Even if you're not aware of it, I think events can churn away in your subconscious so it would be an idea to minimise your exposure to other stressors as far as you can.